Spending Christmas alone

[Peter56]

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been doing some volunteering 2 days a week that has given me a sense of belonging and feel it's given me a sense of belonging and a meaningful connection with other volunteers, staff and their members.

Since my mother passed away in 2021, I have been spending Christmas day on my own at home, which I am OK with.

However, since I’ve been volunteering, some of my colleagues will no doubt ask me how I will be spending Christmas? e (despite being popular) is alone this holiday.

Sometimes I feel like fabricating some sort of story because I feel a bit embarrassed telling them I will be spending Christmas alone thinking that I’m a bit of a loner.

My position reminds me of an episode in the TV series “Happy Days” where Richie found out Fonzie (despite being popular and saying he had plans) intends to spend Christmas day all alone.

I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation how did they manage it when other people asked? e (despite being popular)

[Peter56]

Hi! Thanks for your reply. It's comforting for me to understand there are many people like myself.

        Yes, I do understand what you are saying. I was just more concerned about the image people will have on me, but I will take your advice and I don't intend to feel uneasy about "other peoples judgements" on me. 

        Cheers,

         Peter.

[randomxx]

Hi there Pete.

Yeah l agree with others l normally just brush it off with something like ahhhhh, might just take it easy l think, My families scattered far and wide and so that part of things isn't a biggie. Not too many of them will be driving a few 100 k just to see others on a Christmas day and some of them just do their own thing or nothing too.

Normally if l don't go down to Melb to whomever place Christmas will be at that yr l just stay home. My daughters in my area too and if she doesn't go down to the inlawas with her mum which she hates doing and rarely does anyway, we'll often just cook up a roast at home and pig out between us. But there are a lot just on my own too other yrs since divorce. Like this one this yr. On those the neighbours right next door would have about 20bloody cars coming and going all day, dunno which is worst actually but l'd just shut my gates and stay in . Or on a couple of hot ones l've gone down to the beach for the day.

l'm away atm and staying on the river there's be families and huge groups of friends all over this strip all living it up. Bit of salt onto the situation there for sure but l'll prob just lay low if not too hot or if it is have a swim but that'd be it.

Been thinking l might buy a plum pudding and custard though if l can find one ha ha. Mum always made those when l was a kid, still love it.

Anyway don't stress it mate and there's plenty of us here will be in the same boat.

All the best

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Peter,

No worries, yes, no pressure to participate. I understand what you’re saying, that the concern is with how others might see you rather than being alone itself. I think these days there really are quite a few people alone at Christmas. You may find there are others at the place you volunteer who are also spending Christmas alone. I think it will be fine to tell people.

 I like your reference to Fonzie. As a kid I liked watching Happy Days and I felt a sense of affinity with the character of Fonzie, not because I was cool (I wasn’t) but there was something in his nature I could relate to. I later read an interview with the actor Henry Winkler and he talked about his dyslexia and how hard it was to co-ordinate himself at times in various scenes on the show. I think I felt similar as my brain also has trouble co-ordinating and maybe I was picking something up about him like that as a kid.

Anyway, wishing you a nice, peaceful time over Christmas.