Night Owls (for those awake late and can't sleep)

[Croix]

Dear All
The purpose of this thread is as a meeting point for those that can’t sleep and it is late (I.E. AFTER midnight.)

It can be a useful space for users to share their issues with insomnia as well as coping strategies. It can also be a general space for users to converse and support one another throughout a difficult night.

Please note – for those that are just bored or lonely we already have a place - the BB Café, which I recommend instead of here

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/the-bb-cafe

Croix

[Emo]

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone has been as well as can be expected during these trying times. I'm sorry I haven't been on the forum for a little while as I've been very sick which is why I'm reaching out tonight.

I guess most people will be sleeping but I'm too scared to sleep. I'm supposed to have more medical tests tomorrow to discover where else the cancer has spread and what treatment they will try this time if any.

I'm thinking of cancelling my appointment as I just can't cope with anymore bad news. I will cancel the appointment as I'm just scared. I'm shaking just thinking about it, I just want my mind to stop going. I just want everything to stop.

I feel dead inside, too numb to process anything else. I'd better go.

Regards,

Emo.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Emo, I'm sorry I missed you early this morning. I was up late again, but finally had to stop & try to sleep. listening to a story helped, because the volume of the voices reading didn'fluctuate too much. I din't hear half the story, because I did get to sleep.

I'm wondering if you are able to get someone to go with you, to support you through these appointments & treatments. An official support worker, or a very good friend? I think, if I had to go through such appointments & treatments alone, I would be as daunted as you are. I am amazed the hospital can't help & find someone to be with you when you go there.

I'm sorry if you have already thought of that & don't have anyone. I'haven't read all your posts, just a few here on this thread.

I was only thinking how good it was when I last saw my GP, & I had gone there with my support worker. (paid for by NDIS) & she was able to help me, just by being there, & in practical ways as well. She'll be there when I go for tests, & I am sure I will cope better because of that.

Personally, I know if I don't know, & procrastinate, because of fear or feeling I am wasting my, & their , time, my anxiety only persists the longer I don't know. That's why now going for test. But I am definitely trying to not think too far ahead before I know anything.

Hope you can find support. I suppose you have tried to access support through various cancer support charities?

mmMekitty

[Matchy69]

Hi Emo I really feel your pain and your battle with cancer.I wish I could take the cancer away for you.I can offer you a virtue hug and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[YorkeYorke]

My thoughts are with you Emo regardless of whether or not you chose to go to the appt. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through but hope you find some comfort on here

[Emo]

Hi mmMekitty,

Thank you so much for your kind words and your helpful suggestions on ways I could get support, I really appreciate it. My situation is complicated as my husband is an abusive man who doesn't allow me to reach out to others. Just for me to go to appointments requires me to beg for days to go and get help. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you, I've been going through some pretty gruelling tests and minor procedures. Also please don't apologise for not replying back to me that night as I'm glad that you were able to get to sleep. This thread is supposed to help with that so I'm glad you had a restful night of sleep.

I'm sorry this is a short reply but I'm very sore and I need some rest so I'd better go. I hope to be able to reply to the other kind people who have reached out to me and offered their support but I might have to do it tomorrow.

Please take care and stay safe.

Regards,

Emo.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Emo,

No need for apologies.

I need to ask you, are you safe? From what you said, I am concerned for your welfare. The man has no right to stop you getting medical care. I m appaled he'd even try. I think, as difficult as it will be,I think it's time to consider phoning Respect, 1800 737 732 or 000 if you are in immediate danger .

mmMekitty

[Sophie_M]

Hi Emo, 

We are incredibly sorry t hear about what you are going through. Partner violence is never ok and it is never your fault. As mmmMekitty has said, 1800 RECPECT (1300 737 732) are a wonderful, caring and understanding resource for you to call whenever you feel like you need support. 

We also agree that if you ever feel unsafe you should call 000 striaght away. 

We have reached out to you privately as well to check in and offer support. Thank you to the community for the care and support you have offered as well. 

Kind regards,  Sophie M

[quirkywords]

Emo we are listening to you.

Many people have followed your post for some time and they may read and not post. We are all thinking of you and admire you determination.

I am sorry you have health challenges that involve gruelling tests.

As Sophie and others have explained there is help but I realise accessing itbis very difficult for you.

[fred4761]

Hi everyone, no one has posted anything in this thread for a while . . . I hope that means you are all sleeping well. The last couple of weeks with all of the cases is constantly on my mind and sleep evades me. I feel like for the past 18 months we were made to lockdown and told that every life lost to COVID is a tragedy, and yet now we are suddenly being told to live with it and that deaths are inevitable. It is hard for me to get my head around that. And it concerns me that I know a few people now who have caught COVID and been fairly sick with it even though they are fully vaxxed. To be fair I also know people who have tested positive with little to no symptoms. It just feels like even though we have done everything right, it is still not good enough to keep people from getting sick. I am so afraid of getting it and spreading it to someone else who might get very sick with it or die. It feels like the government are saying that everyone will get COVID with their recommendations that everyone be COVID prepared by having necessary medications, thermometers, and enough rapid antigen tests for 2 per member of your household (although they have been unavailable in my area for a couple of weeks!). They even recommend coming up with a plan for having any pets, children or dependants taken care of in case you have to go to hospital! No wonder I am having such a tough time quieting my racing mind at night.

[Guest_1643]

Hi, hope everyone has been getting some sleep, and hopefully good quality rest 💜