It's the climb...long term maintenance of multiple chronic illness.

[FrankA]

It has been over twelve months between posts and the journey has been a difficult one.

I orginally posted about my PTSD and questionable bipolar dignosis. I suffered acute liver failure caused by an antidepressant. I have chronic anxiety, depressive disorder, PTSD, PMDD, and fybromyalgia.

As best I can I manage my illness with exercise diet and medication. I dont drink alcohol or use illegal drugs.

Due to my transplant, I have practiced alot of mindfulness, meditation and other relaxation techniques. It is hard to grieve the loss of a person you will never know, yet they are your lifesaving hero.

For the most, I go ok. My PMDD plays havoc with my mind in the days leading up to menstruaion. These days are psychologically impossible.

It is a real battle between the gratitude of life and the self destructive thoughts associated with PMDD.

Throw in the chronic fatigue, pain other symptoms of fybro, plus the dynamics of IBS ( developing after my stoma was reversed in Apil 2017), the maintenance becomes a way of life.

I am finding today hard. Fybro is very active, bought on by stress. Stress comes from the pain and fatigue and anxiety that the symptoms are impacting my liver.

I can normally ride this but the PMDD plus the stress of my brother is overwhelming. My brother has been psychiatric care since 23rd Dec, without improvement. My parents are his carers but is having an exhaustive emotional strain on all of my family.

Too sum it up... It's the climb!

[Bethie]

Hi

You really do have your plate full. Do you think going to a local swimming pool might help. It would take pressure of your joints and if just floating around should help with chronic fatigue. I hope things improve with your brother. We are all here if you need to chat.

Looking at the climb kinda like finding ledges to take a break on works for me.

I keep a pic of mountains on my phone and this might sound silly but zoom in on them looking for paths up and safe places along the steep faces. Before i know it I'm that focused and yer obsessed about finding them i totally loose sight of why i was looking originally.

[FrankA]

Bethie said:

Hi

You really do have your plate full. Do you think going to a local swimming pool might help. It would take pressure of your joints and if just floating around should help with chronic fatigue. I hope things improve with your brother. We are all here if you need to chat.

Looking at the climb kinda like finding ledges to take a break on works for me.

I keep a pic of mountains on my phone and this might sound silly but zoom in on them looking for paths up and safe places along the steep faces. Before i know it I'm that focused and yer obsessed about finding them i totally loose sight of why i was looking originally.

Hi Bethie,

Thanks for being the only person to reply. I disengage from this forum last time beause I put myself out there and noone really engaged.

Yes, I do love to swim. My rheumatologist has just referre me to hydrotherapy.

It is so much to deal with.

I am grateful for every day. My life has changed overnight.

I am unable to work. I was in a job I love and doing wonderfully in my career. Now I am on DSP.

Anyway, rather than work backwards, I choose to focus on now, this moment.

It is a cooler day today. Kids are in the pool already. I am alive. So ket see what today has planned!

[geoff]

hello FrankA, I am deeply sorry that the feedback you had last time was scarce because from what you have had to go through is awful, I feel for you because my journey hasn't been the best either.

I'm also very sorry for you having these thoughts because they will have a negative effect on what you are able to do and sometimes be unaware of how much damage they can do to you, and that's probably the worse part.

Swimming is great for a body that is stiff and unable to move properly, as I remember swimming after one of my hip operations, where I could move my leg to where I couldn't before.

Having your brother in psychiatric care would be a real worry for you and the rest of the family, which will be exhausting trying to wonder why, so you have so much to cope with.

Please look after yourself and try and take care, we hope to hear back from you. Geoff.