I could just scream

amd1953

I have had enough of this life, let's move on to the next one. I am kidding of course. I've had enough of everyone who thinks that they are better than everyone else. I've had enough of people who think they are worse than everyone else. I am tired of any kind of authority. I am so tired of hearing about politics, religion, economics, global warming, global cooling, the mission to Mars and the mission to the moon. I hate cars, bikes, trucks and bicycles, people and small children. Yesterday I had a letter telling me that I had to vote in some forthcoming council election. I hate them too. If you don't vote, we'll hit you with a fine and the longer you try to hold out, we'll raise the fine. We will take you to court, find you guilty and throw you in jail forever. If you don't pay your annual rates, we'll sell your house and throw you out on the street. Terrific!

It's wonderful to be alive!

amd1953

amd1953

As I bask in the sun of autumn, I feel the world is going to the dogs. I have a sense of impending doom that will just not go away. Mood swings have a wider arc now and the duration of them is intolerable. Depression and anxiety are my constant companions. I am waiting for something to happen, but I fear that it never will. Something related to my overall condition of pain and suffering. Last week, I left my house for the second time this year. I walked up to the local supermarket and back, a total of four kilometers. On the way back, I bumped into a neighbour who gave me the news that one of my next-door neighbours had passed away a few weeks earlier. I am surrounded by an odd synthesis of life and death. Birth and decay. Good and evil!

I have panic attacks when I think about going anywhere. So, I don't. I hide away in my little house on the prairie, and I plan to do nothing for the foreseeable future. I am teetering on the edge of the abyss and, as Nietzsche so elegantly put it, if you stare into the abyss, the abyss will stare right back at you. Why does life have to be so draining and consuming when you are not well? People are the greatest source of annoyance and irritation.

I would like to see cameras on the moon so that they can look back at the earth and say, I told you so. There is nothing civilised about civilisation. It is a thin veneer of delayed progress and hyperbolic nonsense. Truth will always be a commodity in short supply. Some people ignore it altogether. So, let this be my rant today. Let it be whatever it wishes to be for it has a life of its own. If birth is the enabler, then death must surely be the cost of living.

amd1953

Ggrand

Hello Dear amd1953…

I am so sorry that you don’t like so many things in this world….especially hating people and small children…

Ggrand

Well, I mucked my previous post up….accidentally pressed reply instead of my iPad button…😁…

amd1953….life has lots of ups n down….I remember a few years back, I isolated myself into my home and not going outside at all….I didn’t watch the news, still don’t because I don’t want negativity in my life and news is all negative…I was forced to volunteer or no JobSearch payments, it was a necessity and I had to go out into the scary and cruel world or else my poor dogs and I wouldn’t eat…I did it and that volunteer job made me realise that the world and most people living in it are nice, friendly and some were rude and disrespectful but it taught me that their are kind and caring people out their…I stayed there for nearly 10 years…even after I didn’t have to…because it gave me purpose…I left at Christmas due to illness and I once again find I’m isolating myself from the outside world…which I’m working on to help me get out at least once a fortnight…

Life can be hard but life can also be nice…I suppose we have to do what we can for ourselves to help us find some peace for ourselves….I sit outfront each morning and have a cup of coffee while my body soaks up the sun, my ears listening to the birds, my eyes watching the clouds slowly drift by, as well as watching the t birds flying around or foraging for food….Maybe I’m being a bad citizen but I’m not interested in any world affairs, ie:- news, political things..they might concern me but I don’t want to know so I have made my own little safe world to live in….

I really felt for you when I read your heartbreaking soulful post and just wanted to give you a gentle 🤗 hug…so you might know that not everyone is bad…and their are caring people in this world..

My kindest thoughts with my care,

Grandy..

amd1953

Hiya Grandy,

Only joking about the people and small children. Honestly, I love children, I eat three for breakfast every morning.

🙂

amd1953

Ggrand

Sorry amd1953….my bad for misunderstanding…