How do people stay positive in a negative world?

[Bookgirl]

I often feel overwhelmed by events in my life and the world and struggle to stay positive but my friends who don't suffer from anxiety seem able to cope? How do they achieve this? What am i doing wrong?

[loouuiiee]

Bookgirl I think I know how you feel as I suffer with anxiety and I do get very easily overwhelmed.

Its not a great coping mechanism but I do sometimes find it helps to find a way to distract yourself, for example; I'm studying childcare & children are such beautiful positive little souls that whenever I spend time with them their energy is infectious and I feel an overwhelming duty to be positive for them so whenever I'm with children I am distracted.

Sometimes it backfires on me and ill go home and all the negative things that were weighing me down before I walked into the childcare centre come crashing down, and sometimes I experience really magical moments with the children and the memories of that I carry in my heart home with me and even though I feel like shit returning to a cold and empty house after a long day of unpaid work at least I recall those moments of positivity where I made a difference or made a child smile.

Sometimes if you can distract yourself by making someone else happy it ends up benefiting you also 🙂

For me being alone is a big no-no because I am my own worst enemy and my imagination allows all my anxieties to go wild and I stress myself out even more.

Talking to and being around positive people is a huge help for me also (as long as the people have an understanding of depression and anxiety and will be sensitive and accepting of the fact that we may not be as chipper as they are all the time).

A lot of people say going for walks, talking to someone, getting in touch with nature, animals, taking a bath, cleaning or doing something productive etc. are helpful ... something that works for me though is listening to up-beat music that I love!!

There are a lot of slow and passionate songs about important topics that I love, but I have a rule that if the music doesn't make me feel positive then generally I wont listen to it just because I want to promote positivity in my life on days where I just can not summon any kind of positivity from within myself.

Think about songs that make you feel great when you listen to them and try compiling a playlist maybe? everyone is different so there are lots of different things you can try to see what works best for you 🙂

[BballJ]

Hi Bookgirl,

I don't think it is anything you are doing wrong, judging from your post (apologies as I do not know your background story) you suffer from anxiety? I also suffer from anxiety and find myself thinking at times how much easier it is for people who do not suffer from anxiety and that constant worry.

May I ask, do you currently see your GP or even a psychologist about your anxiety? I think once we are able to get it under control and work out the core reasons why we get anxiety, it is then we can get this relief and learn to cope with every day events and not be overwhelmed by them anymore.

My best for you,

Jay

[Anton_]

Hello Bookgirl,

Thank you for finding the courage to express this here. It always helps when you actually write things down, you put your thoughts in order and possibly come to a solution.

My take on "positivity" would be that it is not about being in denial of what is happening around us. On the contrary, it is about acknowledging the experiences and instead of stepping back, actually getting involved in everything that is happening. This is the positive attitude, letting the tears fall and start doing stuff, taking risks, walking through the turmoil, even if the answer is not readily seen.It might sound easier in theory but only through practice you will get your answers.

Experiencing a "negative" situation always think about the validity? What is the evidence you have for it being "negative"? Look for any hidden opportunity there that you might have missed. What are the obstacles? How can you approach the situation with a different perspective?

Take your time answering these questions and think how you can get involved productively in your "negative" thinking.

Best wishes

Anton

PS: You nickname might hold an answer for you....books do miracles, they retrain the mind...