Healthy body image tips

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

I thought this thread might be helpful for developing healthy body image.

In saying that, these are just general tips and can't replace medical and allied health advice but I thought such a thread would be helpful.

You may or may not find these tips helpful- either is okay- but I thought that I would share things that I have learnt over the years.

Please feel free to share your own tips 😊

- not labelling food as "good" or "bad." Food is food.

- get a full body check to make sure there aren't physical health problems that are causing food/appetite issues.

- this is a really difficult one (because it's hard work and emotionally painful) but finding the root cause(s) of your binge eating/purging/deprivation/etc because food is often a "symptom" of a deeper wound. Sometimes this requires help from a psychologist, counsellor or other health professional.

- avoid discussions about kj/calories with friends and loved ones. Same goes for conversations where you put yourselves down for your weight and physical appearance.

- when complimenting friends and loved ones, try to make it about their personal attributes as opposed to their appearance.

- remember that photos online and in magazines are usually airbrushed.

- be wary of competitive dieting and exercising with friends. While it's great if you and a friend want to motivate each other to exercise and eat well in a supportive and healthy way, it's another thing when it turns into a competition.

- try to avoid fad diets.

- minimise constantly checking e.g. obsessive use of scales, pinching your stomach, etc. Try to set limits as to how often you check yourself/body e.g. weighing yourself once a week (for general health reasons).

- if you find that there are certain things that "trigger" unhealthy behaviours then minimise contact with those things/get rid of them. For example, I don't own a set of scales anymore because every time that I've had easy access to one, I end up weighing myself multiple times every single day, which in turn, triggers another set of unhealthy behaviours and on it goes...

- surround yourself with people who don't make you feel bad about your body and appearance. By the same token, minimise contact with people who criticise you for your appearance, engage in competitive dieting, etc.

- only lose/gain weight for your own sake and not because someone else is pressuring you to do it. It's your body.

- And remember, your weight doesn't define you.

Dottie x

[White_Rose]

Hello Nat

Would you believe I have just found this thread? Really interesting, the bits I have read.

Why are we so concerned about body image, and failing to live up to the standard we think is right? Because of advertising.

How many models do you see at size 16? None. Size 14? Rarely. Size 10 usually. We are being sold all sorts of products to make us beautiful, skin regimes, make up, shampoo, underwear, gym wear, the list goes on. We know this and yet we still allow the marketing gurus to treat us with contempt because we do not conform to their image.

These days doctors are as concerned about their under weight patients as their over weight patients. Do we eat properly? Not often because we are at the gym trying to control our expanding waistlines. We then pick up a take away for tea because we are too exhausted to cook. We take our children to their respective activities, giving them a rushed tea before they leave or a late tea when we return. So how many families sit down together for one meal a day. Precious few.

Why is it important to eat together? Because this is where the family bonds, where we exchange news, where siblings argue with each other, where we get our sense of identity and security, where we eat good, tasty meals cooked with love. So you can see what's coming. Food is important and a form of comfort because that's where we experienced love and care. But when it only happens once or twice the diet gets messed up.

This is where we start the long battle with body image, being over or under weight, eating because we have learned this is where we find love and security but without the stabilizing influence of home.

It's not just girls who learn they need to look beautiful. The boys think girls who are worthwhile must look beautiful because these two aspects always go together. And when their GF, wives, daughters do not have the right shape the men feel cheated. Hey I chose a beautiful woman but she's gone and look what I'm left with.

OK, that may be a bit of an over generalisation, but the basic reasons are true. We are made to feel inferior in some way and therefore need the assistance of the goods in the shops which in turn provides money for the people who tell us we look awful.

Time to explore our inner selves and work out how worthwhile we are by looking at realistic values. All you people would come out top of any list.

Mary

[velvetfaerie]

Note the fashion and beauty industry is controlled by women.

Look at vogue models vs men’s magazine models

[velvetfaerie]

Sorry that probably sounded short and rude. Definitely not my intention.

its a subject I’ve actively participated in / spoken about “publicly” on an online community.

Close to my heart

ill shoosh now and hide.....

[White_Rose]

No need to shoosh on my account. If you feel it then say so.

Yes, much of the fashion industry is controlled by women. Sort of makes my comments a little silly. But I do believe we are controlled by these markets, men as well as women. Looking attractive is good, but not the be all and end all of life, which is what these industries do.

The value of anyone lies in their character not in how manicured they look.

Mary

[velvetfaerie]

I totally agree with you Mary.... and It’s an interesting subject to discuss.

This is why I am on no social media platforms... except this. I don’t need to be bombarded with unrealistic “beauty” ideals... air brushed photos... ads... but hey that’s just me 🙂🙂🙂

🌹

[MsPurple]

Hi everyone. I feel guilty for saying this but I am glad I am not alone. I act confident and like I am completely happy with my self image, but really I'm not. I am more than I used to be, but going from the ground up a few cm still isn't very high.

Nat I'm sorry to hear about your ex and what your family members have said. My step mum did a similar thing to me as your ex. She told me I had to walk too school cause I needed the exercise. She would drive my step sister (different school same distance not out of her way) but not me. SHe also said 'I think you should take up swimming again, help you with your figure'. What a B***ch.

velvetfaerie I too have struggled with an ED. I like to say I'm fully recovered, but do struggle especially if my anxiety and depression gets worse. It can be hard to know which caused which. Did my depression cause a bit more distorted eating or did the distored eating cause the depression to worsen? You can recover however parts will still linger. At least my bad days are no way near as bad as they were before.

Jaine I am 26 and I am getting anxious at the idea of aging. I wanted to stop at 25. Still youth but also able to be an adult. Smack bang were you want to be. I can tell my metabolism is starting to slow a little. I guess I am more worried about being single forever. Been so for a while now and don't want to go through adult life alone. I feel like my body image issues do hold me back a little from this.

Shelley. I do think people project their own insecurity and fears on others. I think my step mum was just a horrible person (let's just say this, here daughters decided to live with my dad, one of then wasn't even biologically his)

Let's all do something to boost up our own body image. Share one thing about your body you like. Can be big or small.

I'll start. I like my eyelashes. They are pretty long so I have never really had a need to put false lashes on

[startingnew]

Hi mary ive got the same views as you. I wrote similar things to you in my post about magazines. Too far fetched and both men and women should be able to show their curves and flaws and be themselves not photoshopped into something they arent.

Ok MsP i like my eye colour.

[Guest_1055]

Hi all

Ms Purple....... Your suggestion of saying something that we like about how bodies reminds of this story I heard.

Bascially the women was asked the same question. She said she liked her hands. And then she went on to say why she liked them. Her answer was beautiful....

She liked her hands because they had wiped tears from children's cheeks, changed nappies many many times, cooked thousands of meals, turned the pages of a book as she read to others, sewed buttons on hubby's business shirts, pulled out the weeds in the garden, built sandcastles with her children, combed the hair of her aging father. But her hands were not that physically beautiful.. They were quite wrinkled and worn and could never be used to sell nail polish in any magazine. But she really liked her hands because she was able to give so much love to others through them.

Anyway I really like that story.

Shell xx

[velvetfaerie]

I like that story Shell. 🙂🙂🙂

[Quercus]

Wow. Thank you everyone for responding.

Swtpotato and Jaine and Velvet and Mary and Shelley and MsP and SN I really appreciate you all coming to talk about this with me. Such a bloody mess of a topic I think... No matter what we do it's not right in someone's eyes.

Shelley your story was beautiful. But also bittersweet for me... I would love to have the attitude of the woman in your story. But for good or bad I want to be attractive. Not just nice. Shallow and vain maybe but it is what it is.

My image of myself is full of contradictions. I've learned through experiences (childbirth, losing the ability to walk and then recovering) that my body is something to appreciate and care for. And yet basic things are triggering.

Choosing a hair cut is a huge drama. And I feel guilty for the skills I want so badly to have. I've got no idea how to dress for my shape or of colours and skin tones and makeup. I remember watching my mum put on makeup and thinking it was like women's magic I don't possess. I feel like I blend in to the furniture which is comfortable but boring.

But if feels wrong to want to feel pretty or sexy. I don't want attention... But I do want to feel beautiful. Contradictions again.

On my wedding day I remember dreading having to walk in. Centre of attention. Panic. And the surprise when Dad and I got to the door and hubby was there waiting with his family and the priest and a plan to make the entry less of a drama for me. My point... I loved how he looked at me and that it was private. I loved how he smiled whenever someone complimented me. I loved how I felt about myself in the quiet moments when there wasn't an audience. I've never felt like that before... Or since. But I want to.

Confused as always. Does it have to be all or nothing? But I have loved reading all of your responses.

❤ Nat