Staying well

Regretting time lost...suggestions for having fun

replies: 11

Hi. The reason I'm here is thinking about past times and opportunities lost. I have MS; which caused me to have Epilepsy. Recently, I had a severe focal seizure. In the past, I had grand mal seizures, which were well managed (eventually) with medicat... View more

Hi. The reason I'm here is thinking about past times and opportunities lost. I have MS; which caused me to have Epilepsy. Recently, I had a severe focal seizure. In the past, I had grand mal seizures, which were well managed (eventually) with medications. Hence, I'm now motivated to start having fun again! Suggestions would be much appreciated, as I have: an inability to drive and get motion sickness; used to play poker and watch movies, but now have vision issues; suffer anxiety and depression due to illnesses and lack of support from family members and a very small circle of really good friends. I used to travel intrastate often, used to be capable of activities that I miss, and am unable to work full time like I used to. Many thanks for all suggestions offered, Steph.

Cured

replies: 2

Hi all, I am interested in the subject mostly inspired by words from Garry McDonald on the Good Morning show. Garry spoke about being cured of his mental illness a wonderful thing. But he also stumbled over his own words as if he wasn't so sure, stat... View more

Hi all, I am interested in the subject mostly inspired by words from Garry McDonald on the Good Morning show. Garry spoke about being cured of his mental illness a wonderful thing. But he also stumbled over his own words as if he wasn't so sure, stating "well I believe I am".(Or trying to convince someone else?) I understand what Garry was saying and of course at some point you must believe you are cured. But how can you tell? I'm not trying to stir up a hornets nest here, but simply asking some questions. How do you know when you are cured by a mental illness that cannot be measured in the first place? How can I even tell if I am working in the correct direction to cure it. Okay that's why we have experts. But these experts can't see or measure the illness any better than we can? If I have depression, I need to know I am moving in the right direction (at least) to getting cured. I find this all very confusing. Issues of the mind that we can't see. Can I ask the room? How did you know when you were (totally) cured? Surely by simply telling yourself that you are "feeling better" might be a cure to a minor mental illness? Thanks for reading Steve

Success from the deletion of social media?

replies: 9

Hi there! Has anyone had any success and felt less lonely from deleting social media. I know that seems ironic. I notice I always get upset when I scroll through facebook, insta or snapchat and see my friends together without me as they constantly ex... View more

Hi there! Has anyone had any success and felt less lonely from deleting social media. I know that seems ironic. I notice I always get upset when I scroll through facebook, insta or snapchat and see my friends together without me as they constantly exclude me. I've just deactivated facebook and instagram but havent snapchat yet as I feel I don't want to be completely seperated from the online world. Has anyone felt less lonely or more lonely by deactivating facebook? I think I feel less lonely because when I was in a pscyh ward phones werent allowed so i wasnt constantly looking at that. I'm also worried that this step might actually cause my friends to exclude me more. Advice? tia

In recovery - but feelings of loneliness and isolation

replies: 8

Hi, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety when I was a young adult. During this time I lost many of my dear friends, and pushed people away due to my depression, anxiety, and fear even though deep down I needed them around. I co... View more

Hi, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety when I was a young adult. During this time I lost many of my dear friends, and pushed people away due to my depression, anxiety, and fear even though deep down I needed them around. I continued on antidepressants for 15 years since to keep depression at bay. I am now married and have a beautiful child with hopes of more in the future. Now I am coming off my antidepressants with the help of my psychiatrist and have been surprised by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief for the friends that I have lost. My psychiatrist says that the return of these feelings is because the antidepressants have previously masked them - and are not symptoms of depression. But I don't want this loneliness to cause the depression to return. I don't have much family support, and my job is all done from home. I get out as much as I can but still feel these feelings of deep loneliness. Has anybody else experienced this? If so how did you cope? Also does anyone have any experience in mending self esteem issues caused by issues from childhood - this is something I'd like to work on further. Thank you

Getting myself sorted

replies: 4

3 years ago I was hit by a car and while my injuries were only minor, due to work cover, doctors, misdiagnosis and legal matters it meant that my personal health got put on hold. I couldn't exercise, found sleeping and moving difficult, couldn't play... View more

3 years ago I was hit by a car and while my injuries were only minor, due to work cover, doctors, misdiagnosis and legal matters it meant that my personal health got put on hold. I couldn't exercise, found sleeping and moving difficult, couldn't play with my pets or kids and generally lost all confidence in myself and my ability to cope. My family and work mates were exceptionally supportive, but in myself it was difficult as I had always been able to use physical activity and being active as outlets and coping strategies for stress. This meant that my self belief was exceptionally low and other techniques just did not assist me. I tried meditation, new hobbies, mindfulness and study just to name a few. Nothing helped and I was given an initial diagnosis of Depression and Anxiety. I will note that I work in a very stressful and high intensity industry which requires me to be 'on the ball' at all times. Just before Christmas I was given the all clear and for the first time in over 3 years I was able to start exercising again, only lightly, but the difference has been immediate for me. Just small amounts of exercise have resulted in me feeling more confident and in control, even when there are those very stressful days. The fact that I have confidence in my body (mostly) to act in the way i am asking it to has given me more self belief. For 18 months I was in a dark place, but it was amazing how old routines have returned some of my confidence to me and how that in turn has made me believe in my abilities again. I wanted to share this on this thread because I needed to share my story of how coping strategies are so important and if you can find what works for you (bike riding, playing with my dog and hitting golf balls for me), it can make an incredible difference. But for us to also be aware that what works for us does not work for everyone. Every person is an individual and we should always see this.

Finding worthwhile/enjoyable things to do even when alone

replies: 10

Many of us have difficulty finding things which we enjoy. My psych must feel like a broken record as he tries to encourage me to find things I enjoy. Changed circumstances, finances, anxiety & depression can create barriers which are hard to break th... View more

Many of us have difficulty finding things which we enjoy. My psych must feel like a broken record as he tries to encourage me to find things I enjoy. Changed circumstances, finances, anxiety & depression can create barriers which are hard to break through. The lack of doing enjoyable activities leads to further mental health problems. I thought it would be helpful if we shared ideas of suitable activities. Since we are all different there is no right or wrong suggestion as the reader needs to decide for themself what they want to do. Hopefully the ideas can provide inspiration. I have been married for many years & have 5 adult children. For decades my life was based on doing things as a family. We enjoyed camping,swimming, exploring bushwalking etc. More recently my children have grown up & left home. My husband has developed a degenerative condition & is now blind so I am his carer. This means the things we used to enjoy are more difficult or impossible. Illness & injuries have also created barriers getting us out of the habit of going out & doing fun things. My psych keeps reminding me that I need to be learning to do things on my own because I need the respite & at some point my husband will no longer be able to do the things he can now. Going out on my own leads to guilt feelings but not doing it means the times I do have away from my husband I waste. I need to learn to enjoy myself when I'm on my own & welcome any suggestions for me & for other readers

At others mercy?

replies: 1

Why is this mental illness thing so hard? Why do we feel worthless (one of the most commonly used words on beyondblue) a burden or disrespected? Among all of our ill feelings we do share one common feeling with those with physical disabilities. ..a f... View more

Why is this mental illness thing so hard? Why do we feel worthless (one of the most commonly used words on beyondblue) a burden or disrespected? Among all of our ill feelings we do share one common feeling with those with physical disabilities. ..a feeling that we are at the mercy of other people. Unless we choose to live a hermit life alone, we are at their mercy to understand us otherwise we have to "carry our own cross" and that is difficult for us. Why is this? Having a mental illness robs us of some basic human abilities like normal sleep patterns and sleep quality, mental or emotional strength to face society, robustness to counter the evil of people from watching them on TV or to your spouse, ability to handle personal finances or just to function as a typical member of society. Lets face it, we need people. But more often than others we need the right kind of people to surround ourselves with to survive in peace. Once we've done that we are then at their mercy because they will know you value them, rely on them highly. That's all ok. Let us accept that that is how things are. But are those of which you lean on so much...are they fully happy.? Some people when relying on others, begin to expect such support ongoing and it wouldnt be abnormal to slip into this support in a prolonged manner of expectation. We might be at anothers mercy, but we should always respect their commitment and try even in tokenism, to balance such generosity. My wife and l often have picnics. She has depression, me bipolar and depression. I take the opportunity to thank here for her patience and understanding. She'll thank me for being a good man. However, its sad to hear from some friends that such gestures never happens in their relationship. Its dangerous to judge others. Every couple has their own way of showing love and appreciation. If you dont show it- do so. Being at someones mercy can be repaid with a garden flower with a note. Yes it isnt our fault for being emotionally challenged but it isnt their fault they carry the bags of rocks of which is your burden. How do you show gratitude to your partner/friend/carer?. Tony WK

Pride, meaningful, moving forward.

replies: 2

Hi all, I thougth I would run this idea I have by you guys to get a reaction. Let me start with a short speach? If you've been you for long enough, you will know if you have a mental illness or not. Call it what you like. I suffer from the 3, common ... View more

Hi all, I thougth I would run this idea I have by you guys to get a reaction. Let me start with a short speach? If you've been you for long enough, you will know if you have a mental illness or not. Call it what you like. I suffer from the 3, common ones. They are Panic/Anxiety and the best of all Depression. (Depression sucks) Anyway, this post, has nothing to do with what you might suffer from its about how you see yourself living with your illness in everyday life. Would you wear a T'shirt that said "I'm mentally Ill" on the front to "but I'm not dangerous on the back". I find that I am ashamed and embarrassed about my illness. I don't tell anyone. Why should I be ashamed of something that I didnt ask for. The term 'mentally ill' is bad enough. Just the way it is. IF

--->>> OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts! <<<---

replies: 303

Greetings! This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT. --- This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourse... View more

Greetings! This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT. --- This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourselves, that we all have had for much of our life. Our beliefs are personal, and yet oddly the 'same' as well. --- There is a school of thought that teaches us that when we identify the OTT i.e. I am unlovable. Relate to the OTT, rather than from it. We can then release the attachment to the OTT, as well as the aversion to the OTT. For example - A child is told that they are no good, useless and worthless, every other day. -sadly, this is a story often told, by many. As this child grows a set of OTT have been programmed into the mind-body of the now grown adult-child. I am no good. I am useless. I am worthless. etc etc etc The adult-child now has an attachment to the OTT. But also you would see an aversion to those OTT as well. I am no good <- the attachment. And, I hate that I am no good <- the aversion. The judgement for having the OTT in the first place, keeps us attached to the OTT. --- Not all beliefs are limiting. All beliefs are fluid. They are mutable - liable to change, as all things in existence are! But... How do we release the OTT? Thats what we're most interested in!. I am going to share a few things of how I am learning to release all of the OTT that once ruled my life, and would love to read yours as well!. 1) Refer to the OTT being in the past. If we keep on affirming the OTT in the present moment, it stays in the present moment. By writing and talking about the OTT being in the past, youre correcting the memory. REWIRE! 2) I AUGMENT positive memories. Whatever they are, whenever they happened. This is why I actively look for things to be thankful and grateful for. Appreciation, heals! And thats now science...if youre interested in the research about this, let me know! 3) I have learned to ask for help, and to RECEIVE it graciously, whenever it comes to me. And, it always does. 4) I SMILE and LAUGH more. Theres research for this too! 5) I have changed my eating habits. I EAT WELL now. I am now on the Guts and Psychology Syndrome foodplan GAPS. I used to be obese. No more. 6) I EXPRESS in healthy ways - dance, music, write.. 7) I take time out to LOVE - my family, friends, my dog bundy, nature.. REMEMBERING to LOVE is a biggie!. And, whatta 'bout you?...

Confusication!

replies: 12

Confused Communication; I sent my mum a msg today saying; "I'm getting some lunch and will be out afterwards" When I walked thru the door, she asked where her lunch was. "Umm..." We had a laugh about it while I made her a sandwich. Miscommunication a... View more

Confused Communication; I sent my mum a msg today saying; "I'm getting some lunch and will be out afterwards" When I walked thru the door, she asked where her lunch was. "Umm..." We had a laugh about it while I made her a sandwich. Miscommunication and misunderstandings are common with texting and msg's, especially with the amount of new mobile short-cut language now and gestures of smiley faces and the like. Emoticons are easier to identify but still may confuse people. Writing here on BB can also be misconstrued or misinterpreted and cause some uncomfortable feelings; it's not easy to read between the lines. Of course this happens face to face too, and can turn into an argument or disagreement when one person is trying to get something across and the other is confused. Anger, suspicion, fear or emotional hurt may follow. I recently msg'd someone with a playful gesture and was responded to with a distant overtone. It upset me and made me wonder what I'd said to receive such an indifferent reply. This person gained my trust thru positive gestures, words and phrases that gave me a sense of safety and trust. My msg was meant to engage in a non serious and playful manner, very different from previous msg's. It was my way of saying I felt more at ease, safe and relieved within our new found connection. Men and women can communicate very differently, so 'confusications' between the sexes can erupt into all sorts of mis-read interpretations. After thinking about my playful words and gesture, it seemed it could've been interpreted as a proposal of becoming closer; more intimate. (Not sure actually) Time will tell. Due to dealing with issues of anxiety and depression for instance, gestures and words can turn into the 'what ifs' very quickly. Panic about how to deal with such misunderstandings can escalate into major problem solving mode to confuse things even further. Then, collateral damage. My son replied to me one day with; "ok..woteva" I rang him immediately. He told me he spoke like this to all his friends. I told him I found it disrespectful and hurtful, and not to use this language with me again. Has anyone had any similar experiences like these?

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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