Turning negatives into positives

MarkJT · ‎28-02-2017

I have always tried to turn a negative into a positive. Negatives are never nice to go through so i think it is really important that you get something out of it, for me that is anything that is positive.

Say for instance, i was hospitalised in Feb 2013 with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Whilst sitting in hospital with my life in tatters, I made a promise to myself that I am going to use my experience which at the time, was completely crap to help others. At that stage I didn't know how i was going to achieve this but in any event, it was something i promised.

I have since worked out how to do that and being part of this forum is one of them. I really enjoy help guide people who are at the start or in the middle of their journeys.

So i am just wondering, how do other people turn the negatives into positives?

When do you try and do this? i.e. at the start of the negative? In the middle? at the end?

I wonder if some people just cannot do that? I guess there would be.

Keen to hear your thoughts.

Cheers

Mark.

blondguy · ‎28-02-2017

Hi Mark

What a great post!

If I can quote a part of your post please

Mark said: "I made a promise to myself that I am going to use my experience which at the time, was completely crap to help others"

That is Gold Mark.

My big brother committed suicide after battling schizophrenia in 1982. Combined with the onset of my anxiety (no such specie as GAD then) I have been on a mission to help others where the medical professionals continually succeeded in ongoing failure

Beyond Blue has provided me with the avenue I have been searching for to assist people in pain. The beyond Blue forums are a wonderful and therapeutic place to be involved in.

Re Negatives.......The word 'hate' doesnt get used in my home in any shape or form. Hating anything consumes a ton of precious mental energy." 'Disliking' has a lot less drain on our well being.

Turning negatives into positives: I guess I use my autopilot as much as possible not to wallow in my own past crapulence

Crackerjack thread topic Mark and thanks

Paul

Croix · ‎28-02-2017

Dear Mark~

This is a pretty good idea for a thread, I hope you get tons of replies.

I'll start off with one from right here. About 2-3 years ago I joined bb and started to look at the Forum. At the time I knew little of bb and less of the Forum. For a long time I just looked, occasionally picking up a hint here or there to help me cope with PTSD, depression and anxiety.

On day I saw a post from someone who had been in the forces and had PTSD. He seemed reasonably new to the illness and was confused and unsure, blaming himself, despairing and asking for help.

He described exactly the same things that had happened to me. For some reason I started to post, telling him about my experiences and what happen, and about treatment and how my wife and I dealt with the whole thing. What they could expect. I tried to give ideas on how to cope with some of it.

It seemed to work, with lots of people posting and the original poster eventually stopping after gaining a significant improvement. I only had a very small part in that improvement but I like to think my very negative experience was put to use and did some good.

As you can see I've been posting ever since, using what has happened to me to assist me in understanding others and hopefully help some of them on their journey towards recovery.

Croix

Elizabeth CP · ‎28-02-2017

As a child & teenager we had little money because of a number of circumstances including losing everything in a bushfire, then both my parents developing ongoing illnesses before medicare. The positives were I learnt from a young age to manage money effectively & learning to many practical skills such as sewing & home maintenance tenable me to make my money go further. This has helped me throughout my life.

CMF · ‎28-02-2017

Great one Mark,

You posted on my thread recently about turning a negative into a positive and it does have me thinking. I do think at times it is difficult to see/find a positive about a situation, however everything teaches us something so if nothing else, we can try to see the lesson which in turn helps us grow.

I get anxious about my mortgage but at the end of the day i have equity in my home if i decide to sell.

My son is changing schools and as his Dad does not approve he is not contributing to any expenses. It is a big outlay to start with as i need to purchase a laptop. This is causing some stress for me at the moment, however, in the long run the move will hopefully be for the better. Plus i can go to sleep at night knowing i have always supported my kids as best i can unlike him (not that i think he cares). Sometimes the positive is not immediate but part of a bigger picture. I do also believe that God is there for me and I do pray. Over the school holidays i was to buy my son some new school uniform items but I didn't. I just thought i would wait, something stopped me. Looking back i am so happy i did hesitate as now that he is changing schools, they would have been a big waste. Sometimes the positive is in reverse in this case.

As you also know my local coffee shop has changed owners as of this week. I was devastated when they told me they were selling and felt quite insecure as it is my 'go to' place and I'm scared it will really change. I have made friends there and catch up with the locals. If it does change and i don't feel comfortable anymore i do have another place i would like to try, and i have told other locals, we are considering all moving if necessary. I realised today that moving is not that bad, who knows, i might meet some new locals, you just never know.

Baby Steps x

gld · ‎28-02-2017

Hi,

Negatives build up walls and by taking it down brick by brick you become more positive. I feel it is a growth thing by finding ways to use the bricks you take from the wall and build a path that leads to somewhere you want to go.

Setting a goal that is achievable, gives a feeling of success which then in turn gives you the power to change direction of a negative towards a positive direction.

Living in the negative is like groundhog day the same stuff keeps on happening throw some change in there and it breaks the cycle moving in a more desirable path.

Gen

white knight · ‎01-03-2017

Hi Mark

A very successful thread already.

I think one of the biggest problems is people are unawzre they are negative thinkers. I was unaware until 1982. Overnight it all changed. That is covered in the thread (google) Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

With depression however, falling in a heap will still occur, so its important to utilise your positive abilities when your cycle is improving.

You'll bounce back much easier with a positive frame of mind.

Great thread m8

Tony WK

MarkJT · ‎01-03-2017

Paul: It is impossible to put a number on, but gee i would love to know how many people are walking this big chunk on rock we live on because you so do what you do. To be touched so closely by suicide and use that as the fuel to burn your desire to help others, nothing but respect.

I love how you don't use the word hate and replace it with dislike. That will be something i will be implementing at home that is for sure.

Cannot agree with you more about the BB forums. Such an awesome supportive, caring and stigma free zone where we are all in our respective journeys together.

Croix: How good is it when the penny drops, so to speak and you realise that by helping yourself, you are helping others. Particularly in our line of business where there are so many walking around without the knowledge of how to recognise PTSD symptoms and not knowing what really to do.

Elizabeth: Money management is such and under rated skill that is just so critically important to our overall health. Sounds as pretty much you learnt survival skills and have kept them going through your life. Would have been so easy to sit there and throw it all in but you elected to do something about it. Huge! Love it.

Baby_Steps: Yep you are certainly moving forward now and through your posts I can see that turning things around is something that you are doing. That is just so pleasing to see. Remember though, if something doesn't turn around straight away, that is okay, keep working on it.

Gen, what a brilliant brilliant choice of words. I really love that analogy that you have used. Such a positive brilliant outlook. Thinking i might steal that one (with appropriate thanks to you attached!!). You are spot on. Thank you.

Tony: Yes absolutely falling in a heap will still occur. It is very similar to when you are recovering, if you have a bad day, then so be it, it does not mean you are relapsing, you are just having a bad day. If you are having a negative moment, so be it, as you say, use the skills you have learnt and flip it around.

Great awesome answers all - so much knowledge and so much wisdom from you all.

Thanks

Mark.

CMF · ‎02-03-2017

I guess if anyone wants to share stories on turning negative into positive we can keep this thread going. I find it inspiring to hear such stories. If anyone is keen i'll start.

My son has changed schools and i need to pay out the term for his old school, an expense i knew about but they will not waive it. Today i received an email to say the laptop he returned had damage that was not covered under the insurance and i am required to pay the excess. Another expense i did not need. Upon ringing the school to organise payment i asked again if they would waive the term's notice for me, which they will not, however the accounts manager did mention that they have a new Business Manager who has waived fees such as building Levy's and fees for a subject my son did not do so even with the expense of computer repair the final payment is the same as what i originally expected so I am no worse off.

BS

MarkJT · ‎02-03-2017

BS, great to hear that you had a good outcome with that.

I used the time i had off work at the start of the recovery period and then into the returning to work process to train for a complete a few marathons. Bucket list ticking off.

Mark.