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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Greyy Ambushed at Work
  • replies: 4

A year ago I secured a great job with a highly regarded biotherapies group. Initially all went well the role was challenging and I gave it my all - long days and at least one day every weekend. Every time I met a milestone my manager changed his expe... View more

A year ago I secured a great job with a highly regarded biotherapies group. Initially all went well the role was challenging and I gave it my all - long days and at least one day every weekend. Every time I met a milestone my manager changed his expectations regarding what I should deliver. Initially he reduced the timeframes and then drastically cut my budget so that I was unable to contract vendors and had to do additional work myself. A month before the six month probation period, I met with him, and told him that I would struggle to meet his initial objectives since the timeframes had been reduced and there were inadequate resources to get the work done. He responded by making a show of chewing his finger nails and laughing. Two weeks later he told me that he would not confirm my employment beyond six months. I resigned as I realised that the role was no longer tenable. Subsequently I have discovered that this manager has done the same thing to four people in succession. He gets them to work at the red line. Consequently he has been recognised as developing a high performing workgroup and he has been promoted. Four committed professionals have burned out and resigned; all within six months. Apparently this is condoned under Employment Law as employees have very few rights in the probation period. I have also discovered that this practice was introduced by a professional consulting firm in Melbourne. I struggled after this experience. My confidence was shattered and I felt ashamed that the role had not worked out. It was only when I was contacted by my predecessor in the role via LinkedIn who told me she and her predecessor had the same experience that I stopped blaming myself for what happened. We "comrades in adversity" from the same organisation have become a strong resource to one another. We recognise this evil practice affected all of us and could have left lasting scars. Ironically the perpetrator is likely to go from strength-to-strength. Sometimes you can't out perform or outlast these practices and the best option is to move on.

white knight Your mind is a library
  • replies: 4

Imagine at a certain young age you enter a library. All the books are on the floor..broken, mixed up and messy..for a reason. You pick up a book called, hobbies then another called money management or relationships but all the books have missing page... View more

Imagine at a certain young age you enter a library. All the books are on the floor..broken, mixed up and messy..for a reason. You pick up a book called, hobbies then another called money management or relationships but all the books have missing pages. This library is your life. Its a mess, its your mind. You seek help. A doctor lifts the bookshelves which are named...nasty people, arrogance, red tape, bullying, employment, diet, exercise, budgetting, sleep, friends, medication, chores crying, shaking, self harm and so on You are one of the lucky ones in that you want your library in order. Denial wont repair books. You seek help. A psychologist shows you how to pick up the books and slot them into their respective shelf, medication allows you the ability to place the strewn pages into the right book. You are feeling there has been progress. Family and friends know that you are focusing on the nearest bookshelves labelled toxic people, identity and guilt. You go on forums to ask those that have years of struggle sorting their own library to rearrange the bookshelves in priority. The closer to you the more important the shelf. You place obligation at the back, then toxic people...gradually you get to the front...depression, sleep, happiness, care, diet and so on are up front. You are nearly sorted. You spend many years going slowly through every book for pages out of place. Your libray is a world of priority and order to produce stability. Its a delicate place. Noise (upset, trauma, accidents, inability to cope) can interrupt and distract your world. You visit friends. Some never have a need to enter their own library. It's in order always has been. They wouldnt know what its like to find a book in pieces on the floor...no wonder thay cant relate. Everyone has a library. Yours is like all others, unique and wonderful. That fact that yours is messy and a mammoth task to get into its proper order is no fault of yours. Your bipolar might have been inherited the reason a bookshelf is bent...it will never be straight but you can still store books there making the most of a bad situation, for your mind has many flaws. Best accept them and ....keep reading....and never stop! Tony WK

CatLover88 How do you cope with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life
  • replies: 5

I'm working through the modules in a self-help course for Generalised Anxiety Disorder and I'm currently looking at a module about accepting uncertainty. How do you cope with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life? Any tips or tricks would be g... View more

I'm working through the modules in a self-help course for Generalised Anxiety Disorder and I'm currently looking at a module about accepting uncertainty. How do you cope with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life? Any tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated!

AGrace WHY CHOOSE MINDFULNESS?
  • replies: 5

It’s been used in Eastern traditions for over 2500 years, our Psychologists rave about it, the business world is using it in aid of better decision making, it’s widely used to promote mental wellbeing, and even schools are adopting it’s principle in ... View more

It’s been used in Eastern traditions for over 2500 years, our Psychologists rave about it, the business world is using it in aid of better decision making, it’s widely used to promote mental wellbeing, and even schools are adopting it’s principle in aid of effective learning, but why choose mindfulness? Neurologists have been researching mindfulness for over 40 years to ascertain its benefits in aiding neuroplasticity. The research and subsequent findings of neurologist and scientist Dr Jeffrey M. Schwartz are astonishing. In order to clearly understand the benefits, it’s important to define the problem we are faced with. Deceptive brain messages are any false/inaccurate thought or unhelpful or distracting impulse, urge, or desire that takes you away from your true goals and intentions in life ie. Your true self. The brain listens to all messages, including deceptive brain messages. From here it creates bodily sensations, followed in this case by habitual and often unhealthy responses Mindfulness is about assessing your own receptivity to deceptive brain messages and consequent actions. If we take a close look at the brain we will find the brain’s habit centre. Our brains are powerful processing machines, much like computers. They take in information, process it, and deliver an outcome. What you might not know is that all repeated actions, thoughts, and feelings make their way to the brain’s habit centre. Mindfulness provides an ‘observational’ frame to help us make appropriate decisions. So what is the difference between the brain and the mind? The brain puts out the call and the mind decides whether to listen. This process can be effective if we are in a constant habit of using the powers of wise mind, the culmination of equal parts logic and emotion. However it’s often the case that either one or the other, more specifically emotion mind in relation to mental illness, is more dominant, therefore producing more deceptive brain messages and consequently more unhealthy thoughts, behaviours, and feelings. You’ve possibly heard of the fact that cells that fire together, wire together. This is the theory behind Hebb’s Law. We can see this in one of two ways, either as a potential problem or a potential solution. First we must ask, how do you get the right cells to wire together? By combining wise mind with attention density. Attention density simply put means how you focus your attention in a sustained way. If you are familiar with mindfulness, you will know that the basic principle behind it is to make a conscious choice to bring your attention to something, usually the breath as it is ever present. They say ‘you are what you eat’, and this philosophy stems from the idea that your brain becomes what you focus on, otherwise known as the Quantum Zeno Effect. This gives us much understanding into the effects that positive affirmations have on us. If we focus our attention on positive thoughts then they will undoubtedly end up making their way to the brain’s habit centre. Those who are continually reminding us to “look on the bright side” or “think positively” have reason to believe that the mere impact of positive thinking alone would denote a much happier existence. The reality is, we will come across difficult situations, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable emotions. So if we only think positively we are not preparing our brains to effectively deal with unhappy circumstances. Balance is crucial if our brains become what we focus on, once again underpinning the benefits of wise mind. Many would also have us believe that we can will ourselves out of mental illness, but this is can be as challenging as wishing it weren’t present in the first place. If we go back to the function of the brain as a procession machine, the brain sends out a signal, followed by a desire to act, and subsequently a voluntary action takes place. Scientists have identified that the desire is determined by the brain, but the action is not. In fact it takes the brain .3 seconds to produce the desire, and then .2 seconds later we see the result of the voluntary action. This is the underlying principle of Veto Power. So what we cannot stop is the desire, but what we do have control over is the decision to act. Already you’re probably thinking .2 seconds is not enough time to amend or modify an action. This is another benefit of mindfulness. Continual practice increases emotional distance which consequently increases the time we have to make a decision about our will to act or not. The key is over time you don’t want to always be acting based on desire, but instead asking yourself, “How will I feel if I don’t act?” The answer to this is simple, proud. Dr Schwartz has combined all of his research in order to create 4 healthy steps to improving mental wellbeing and function using mindfulness. So the next time you are practicing your mindfulness techniques, ensure you are getting the maximum benefit of the millennia old tradition, not just simply by breathing, but by making the choice to refocus your attention through: Relabelling: Identifying thoughts Reframing: “It’s not me, it’s just my brain” Refocusing: Directing attention to an alternate, more healthier, thought, feeling, or behaviour Revaluing: Not taking thoughts as fact. Instead focus on constructive, healthy thoughts, feelings, or behaviours. These simple steps will in turn lead to self-directed neuroplasticity, in simple terms the creation of newer, healthier habits. AGrace

Just Sara Over-stimulating the Senses - Addiction to Adrenaline and Beta Endorphins?
  • replies: 127

Hi all; I've been self assessing for a long time now, and have come across an habitual need to stimulate myself with dysfunctional thoughts that prop me up or give a perception I'm not small or insignificant at all; feeling powerful and a winner. On ... View more

Hi all; I've been self assessing for a long time now, and have come across an habitual need to stimulate myself with dysfunctional thoughts that prop me up or give a perception I'm not small or insignificant at all; feeling powerful and a winner. On the flip side, I've also had thoughts that bring me down (too big for my boots) causing a 'normal' feeling of being average or small/insignificant...safe from ridicule or punishment. We've all had those fantasies of kicking the winning goal or standing on a podium with trophy in hand sucking up the acclaim and cheers from the crowd. But what if those fantasies turned into yelling at someone until they were on their knees leaving you feeling pumped and superior? Or maybe getting in between parents to fend off upcoming violence and be the hero? Isolating myself has turned my world inward where I play out the day in my head. This is where I've been living and getting to be on top, or berate myself into submission. The other noticeable factor is the adrenaline or beta endorphin rush I can have from this; undetected until recently due to the normality of 'feeling' this way. Looking for a discussion peep's...your thoughts? Sara

Cornstarch I am not a Nutcase I am a Hipster
  • replies: 55

Corny's health is buckling under an immense weight and she's signing off of the forums. I keep having to peel more and more layers back as my dissociation continues to fragment and terrifying memories resurface. Actually underneath it is quite litera... View more

Corny's health is buckling under an immense weight and she's signing off of the forums. I keep having to peel more and more layers back as my dissociation continues to fragment and terrifying memories resurface. Actually underneath it is quite literally reliving a nightmare. My nervous system was built on quicksand and I was never given a deep reservoir to draw upon. I wish I had because my nature is to help. But there's only so much helping one little Corn-dog can do. I am so frustrated with my ignorance and lack of education right now with regard to dissociation. I suppose we should always be careful what we wish for, but it is a very mis-understood symptom. I don't own a car, I don't own a television, and now I have to restrict my non-work internet use to 45mins a week if that, and stay outside as much as possible. It's official, I am now - a Hipster Heirloom Corn of Sun and Sea.

CJs_mum Too much time?
  • replies: 2

Feeling a bit lost with what to do at home (and in your negative thoughts) all day? Write a plan out to achieve at least one thing each day and try to stick to it. My plan today is to clear out our pantry and tidy my and my daughters "floordrobe" (cl... View more

Feeling a bit lost with what to do at home (and in your negative thoughts) all day? Write a plan out to achieve at least one thing each day and try to stick to it. My plan today is to clear out our pantry and tidy my and my daughters "floordrobe" (clothes that should be in the wardrobe but end up on the floor somehow....hmm). What's your plan today?

Mattmo72 Life in general & trying to find & be the "real" me
  • replies: 5

Hi & thanks for taking the time to read this ! I'll keep this short & to the point. Hoping to elaborate later... I have bee through sooo much & i'm still struggling with just "being me" I am currently working on what i feel to be my spiritual being i... View more

Hi & thanks for taking the time to read this ! I'll keep this short & to the point. Hoping to elaborate later... I have bee through sooo much & i'm still struggling with just "being me" I am currently working on what i feel to be my spiritual being in order to start fresh at life. I would just like to hear from anyone who has or is currently dealing with them self in a holistic way...Mind body & soul & would love to hear anyone's story on what was helpful. I am a christian to the core & beyond. 100% believing in the bible,GOD,JESUS & THE HOLY SPIRIT etc & am currently searching for more peace in my earthly realm for now. I know a pretty broad description of what is most probably an easy answer. I just need good peoples advice to help me along my journey. Thank you again for reading ! Any helpful advice about your experience in this thing called life would be greatly appreciated !

gld Strategies to overcome thing out of our control
  • replies: 2

Hi, Does anyone out there loss the plot when things happen that are out of our control. I feel i seem to escalate the situation. Take for example today, get feeling ok joking around and then something happen. I fall into a heap thinking what if i did... View more

Hi, Does anyone out there loss the plot when things happen that are out of our control. I feel i seem to escalate the situation. Take for example today, get feeling ok joking around and then something happen. I fall into a heap thinking what if i did this, start blaming anything and everything as this is happening i feel my day sinking fast. My better half took car to shops and on the way home had an accident, he is ok and it was out of his control but it was something i feel i could handled differently. It has taken all day to get over and has a big impact on our household so i am working on a different spin to get over it, looking for things that are good about it. He is not injured, the other car he hit did not have anyone in it and the car was a lemon anyway. Anyone got any ideas about ways to get over things that are out of our control to soften those negatives that bring you down or worsen the situation. Looking forward to people input. Gen

white knight Diagnosed? Get ready to work hard
  • replies: 7

We've heard it, we might have said it ourselves..."I'm on medication for that". Its like once we are diagnosed all the work is done, the tablet fixes all. But it doesnt. Then some would think, "I'm attending a psychiatrist...". That's it? Nope. Here ... View more

We've heard it, we might have said it ourselves..."I'm on medication for that". Its like once we are diagnosed all the work is done, the tablet fixes all. But it doesnt. Then some would think, "I'm attending a psychiatrist...". That's it? Nope. Here is a list I've compiled of other things I've chosen to do or compelled to do since my first diagnosis in 2003 Computer program "mood gym" relocation to the country to reduce stress 2nd diagnosis (2009) Diet (home grown vegies) and exercise review Constant review of med dosage Health plan 1, 5 and 10 year plans ridding toxic people from my life Research Group discussions Listening to observers of me Revamp finances Bought a pet Withdrew from committees Wrote short stories/poetry Açcept they'll be down days Ensured 8 hours minimum sleep Spiritual discovery Volunteer work. Helping others boosts confidence/feeling worthwhile All of the above collectively have assisted me in my progress of all diagnosed disorders bipolar2, dysthymia and depression but it wasnt easy at all. I continue to suffer the symptoms at a slowly reduced rate as incidences are reviewed like why outbursts occur, what triggers my depression and what I can do to help my situation. I dwell less on what l cannot do. I came to accept my incapabilities. Eg my poor short term memory. No point being disappointed over such an issue you cannot do anything about. Writing notes and using alarm on my mobile helps though But above all else the one thing that has at all times been my greatest asset...positivity and downloading such positivity into action...the latter as important as the former. Such drive came in 1982 and is detailed in the thread (google) Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue The power of positivity is amazing and the hard work well worth it. Discover yourself, reflect, study, treat your journey as a past time.. Read! Dont forget to love yourself. You are unique, like all humans you'll make mistakes just dont keep making the same ones. Care for your carer as best you can. Work hard and you will suffer a lot less... Tony WK