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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Quercus Let's find the JOY in life!
  • replies: 15

Hi Everyone, I've been mentioning to a few people lately keeping busy to keep the blues at bay and trying new things to keep me excited about and hopeful in life... There is so much to enjoy in life but sometimes we are in a place that we can't see i... View more

Hi Everyone, I've been mentioning to a few people lately keeping busy to keep the blues at bay and trying new things to keep me excited about and hopeful in life... There is so much to enjoy in life but sometimes we are in a place that we can't see it. So here is a place for all of us to share practical joyful activities that are achieveable (or things that are adventurous) to inspire eachother Bring on the happiness My suggestions for today.... 1) Check your library notice board for free courses being held. My local running a talk on introduction to beekeeping! And it's free! 2) For those in WA there are a series of books published by the Dept of Environment and Conservation called "Walks in Perth Outdoors" and "Bushwalks in the Southwest". They are amazing and include maps and grades of difficulty. I cannot recommend them enough. 3) Pour a bucket of hot water and epsom salts and soak your feet at the end of the day while you watch tv or read a book. Hope to hear what ideas other people have

The_Possum Thai Massage
  • replies: 2

A new business recently opened in my area - Thai Massage boasting that it is useful in the treatment of depression and other mental health disorders. I've been to one before a few years ago for a shoulder injury playing tennis, in which they really g... View more

A new business recently opened in my area - Thai Massage boasting that it is useful in the treatment of depression and other mental health disorders. I've been to one before a few years ago for a shoulder injury playing tennis, in which they really got their elbow into my back to release the knots. It was painful and far from anything I'd consider depression releasing. Anyone have any experience with this?

white knight CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE how important is it?
  • replies: 5

This is a question I've asked myself for a while ... I'm saying that I've sensed there are some people that's lives are suppressed by their partners or family members and they have little control over their actions, lack of the freedoms some of us ha... View more

This is a question I've asked myself for a while ... I'm saying that I've sensed there are some people that's lives are suppressed by their partners or family members and they have little control over their actions, lack of the freedoms some of us have without permission or lack of even free thoughts. Such "ownership" can be of great concern and I wonder how many of these caged people have mental illness from it or think they do but all along they have really been grossly unhappy. A mental prisoner of sorts? In the end the level of control a person can withstand is subjective I'd suggest. Meaning it is up to them. none of us outsiders can say- he is controlling you too much and you should put a stop to it. We only hear one side of the story. It could for example be that the poster is feeling controlled but really isnt being controlled but being cared for. Years ago I had a female friend that suffered from a psychiatric illness. She was in a daze most days due to her medication. Her husband seemed to control her every move. But the more I got to know the situation the more I realised why he was how he was and I probably would have ended up just as controlling.Some people cannot function normally. Another example. I had a hobby (model airplanes) when living with my defacto wife. I spent money almost daily on my hobby, $5 here and there (propellers wood glue etc). Some time after my initial diagnosis (bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression) my wife began her secret quest to control all finances. Eventually I was on an allowance, which made me feel like a teenager on pocket money. I was earning twice the income she earned. Eventually arguements began. We had the following one- Her "how much money do you think you have spent on your hobby over the last 7 years"? Me "about $11,000" Her "have you got any reason to be proud of that" Me "Well it is a lot less than the $35,000 you have spent on cigarettes" It was one of the few times I guessed the question was coming. Eventually it was one reason for us separating. In my case I had every right to defend myself against an element of unjust control. My now wife of 3 years and I have no control over each other. We do of course have obligations, commitment, dedication and all those other things that come with a good marriage. But control isnt there. And we are happier for it. Putting it out there. Is excessive control over others a big factor with peoples mental health?

Loco23 Space and Universe
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone i was wondering whether I'm the only one on here that feels the same way when watching a space doco or podcast. Whenever im feeling pretty overwhelmed or stressed, s doco on the universe that makes you feel so small kind of helps with tre... View more

Hi Everyone i was wondering whether I'm the only one on here that feels the same way when watching a space doco or podcast. Whenever im feeling pretty overwhelmed or stressed, s doco on the universe that makes you feel so small kind of helps with treating anxiety ? It's very hard to explain but I strongly suggest it.

ro63 yoga saved my life
  • replies: 25

I have been suffering depression for several years and was taking medication for 7 years stopped taking it about 18 months ago now , it helped initially but I think it made me worse in the long run , I then worked up the courage to see a therapist an... View more

I have been suffering depression for several years and was taking medication for 7 years stopped taking it about 18 months ago now , it helped initially but I think it made me worse in the long run , I then worked up the courage to see a therapist and talked over my worries and self esteem issues which was so hard as a man because we dont talk about our problems , but it really helped me a lot and it was my therapist who suggestedI try yoga . And it changed everything for me I loved it immediately and have been going for about a year now , it is very calming as a big part of each class are breathing exersises and meditation , its not all tying yourself in knots , I highly recommend it , as it has changed the way I think about things and has helped my anxiety the most.if any one is looking for an alternative to medication this is a good place to start.I am not saying to ditch your medication that is something you should talk to your doctor about and get their advice also , but it has worked wonders for me and I hope it can help others too .

SeanA Something to make you think.
  • replies: 1

A hiatus from writing has meant a backlog of thoughts that seem to be obvious when I look at them on this page. Previously stacked head high in my thoughts, they seem to become simple when I type them. They are realisations that relate to me and many... View more

A hiatus from writing has meant a backlog of thoughts that seem to be obvious when I look at them on this page. Previously stacked head high in my thoughts, they seem to become simple when I type them. They are realisations that relate to me and many readers:1 – Many of my endeavours in life were a result of me of avoiding a conversation with myself. 2 – The conversation is always waiting for you after you get sidetracked.3 – Many people spend their whole life avoiding a conversation with themself. Mainly because it is uncomfortable. It's easier to immerse yourself in a new direction. A trip... A relationship... A job... An argument... Buying the latest shiny object. The internal dialogue always dims under the brightness of the latest obsession. Same ol, same ol. What's wrong with doing the same thing year in and year out? Why do we have to start something new to make our life seem worthwhile? Just because your job isn't new doesn't mean it's not exciting. The answer is right in front of us. It's because we think doing the same thing over and over is either a type of meditation (too hard) or a form of torture. Remember that at school we were punished with repetition. "I will not shout in class" written 100 times on the board. Our DNA soon read: Mind numbing repetition is to be avoided at all costs. But isn't a state of constant and never ending improvement the way to make a good thing into a great thing? Starting from scratch in another endeavour often means going back to zero. So, I look at my accomplishments and decide how to take them to a higher level. I leverage my earlier efforts and create something new. I climb to the top of a pile of papers and I can see what is possible. Feeling pretty energised now.

Always_curiously_wonderin Use of structure in wellness
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I am curious to know how people use structure in their lives to stay balanced particuarly in those with concerns with anxiety. I myself have a relationship with anxiety and perfectionsim and have some recent life changes- moving back into my ... View more

Hi all, I am curious to know how people use structure in their lives to stay balanced particuarly in those with concerns with anxiety. I myself have a relationship with anxiety and perfectionsim and have some recent life changes- moving back into my parents house to recomence study and go down a different career path, and am yet to find a good structure in my life (other than work). In the past I have found structure important in my life, and due to moving into a less structured lifestyle, I would like to know how others do it, stick with it, and what they find beneficial, or what doesn't work about it. Cheers.

SubduedBlues When life gives you lemons...
  • replies: 10

There is an age old saying that "when life gives us lemons, we should make lemonade." I never truly understood this saying until the events in my life led me to become a participating member of the beyondblue forums. The unforseen events in my life r... View more

There is an age old saying that "when life gives us lemons, we should make lemonade." I never truly understood this saying until the events in my life led me to become a participating member of the beyondblue forums. The unforseen events in my life really did give me some sour lemons. There were those days that were so bad I desperately wished the day was already over before the sun had even finished rising. But through the support I received on the forums, through reading the troubles of others, connecting with people who had similar encounters, I learnt that I am not alone and slowly learned the recipe on how to make lemonade. Whilst I was here, each day I would cling to my computer, anticipating a reply to my posting ... looking to help someone else (whilst trying to forget my own problems) ... reading through questions and answers and advice's and comments. Information and data and happiness and despair, joy and sadness and pure unadulterated emotions and ... Argh!! I overloaded. I broke. I separated myself from the forum. And... I found the strength to get up; to face the day; to make the bed; ; to make another lunch; to give my kids a hug; to wash the car; to make dinner; to do the domestic chores. Each day I did something, and another something; and then something more. and soon I stopped worrying about what I can't do, and started to see what I "can" do. And then ... something truly amazing happened... I woke up and I was happy. -- So I went out and joined a social group for people with Social Anxiety. And I met some really nice people who ignore all of my quirks and problems and see me for me. ...and I am happy. Since then I have been out volunteering with other charity groups; and though I still anxious as ever, I found a way that allows me to contribute to society once again. Even today, I was volunteering with the beyondblue bus in Newcastle ... it felt really good to be able to give back to one of the groups that has helped me so much. And on this coming Wednesday 17th Dec I am going to a fundraiser event for Black Dog Institute in Sydney (search "sociable charitable people" if you want to come along). -- I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for helping me when my days were blue.And if you are ever in Sydney, stop by some time and I'll pour you a glass of lemonade. D'

white knight Vulnerable? Be ready to defend
  • replies: 0

Unfortunately some people see mental illness as weakness. You appear to them as submissive, a target. Even your quietness can be interpreted as someone to dominate. Add to that confidence issues and you could be prey. That situation is not reserved j... View more

Unfortunately some people see mental illness as weakness. You appear to them as submissive, a target. Even your quietness can be interpreted as someone to dominate. Add to that confidence issues and you could be prey. That situation is not reserved just for narcissistic people for a frustrated partner or friend can come across as narcissistic while they are merely trying to express their thoughts. So what are your rights? Your rights are where you draw the line (no one else) as to what you can withstand. However there are some basic rights all persons with issues should feel they have a need to defend. Eg. This week on another thread (tolerant partners) a member told how all her life, she has said things without knowing those words were hurtful to others. This raises questions. Intent is a great word. If your disability includes saying things that come out incorrectly that offend who's fault is that? If a person with a back injury cant run a marathon is it their fault? We dont often enough compare our emotional restrictions with physical restrictions. Why not? In both cases it isnt our choice, they are unwelcomed issues that erode any confidence you have. So, do we allow others to walk over us? What can we do to counter aggression from them taking advantage of us? Getting upset is counter productive. Your anger or emotion proves to them "gee her problems are worse than I thought". One thread covers this (google) Topic: wit, the only answer to torment- beyondblue Yes, you'll need to develop strategies including witty answers to put to these people your right as a person with issues no fault of yours. There is a benefit of the doubt however. People without mental illness can say the wrong thing and make mistakes to. Are they not entitled to your empathy/equal rights? The other way is to surround yourself with the type of friends without the nasty streak. But do try to seek out the kind heart inside the rough sometimes inconsiderate exterior. See, as a sensitive type caused by dysthymia, bipolar 2 etc I get told, even at 61yo "you've got to toughen up". If being a prison officer, security guard or dog ranger didnt toughen me up then nothing would. My sensitivity is me, your poorly chosen words are you, the lame man? We are not defined by our disability. We are who we are, no need for self proclaimed experts. Tell them in a calm, firm manner your concerns. If that doesnt work use...wit! If all else fails move on. Its not your fault. Tony WK

Beltane What hobbies/ techniques/ lifestyle changes make you feel great?
  • replies: 28

Hey all. I'd like to start a nice little convo where we can talk about the things that make us happy, keep us well, soothe our emotions or that make us feel accomplished/ proud/ confident etc. It can be anything you want- a hobby you do, a type of th... View more

Hey all. I'd like to start a nice little convo where we can talk about the things that make us happy, keep us well, soothe our emotions or that make us feel accomplished/ proud/ confident etc. It can be anything you want- a hobby you do, a type of therapy or technique, your belief system, your family or friends, a dream or goal, a song or band, sport, exercise. Whatever it is that gets you feeling better or keeps you feeling well, lets share our joys and happiness's so that others can be inspired. i'll start. I love Crossfit- it keeps me fit and i'm always feeling accomplished because i see myself doing things i couldn't do before. Each week i can run further than i could the week before, or lift a heavier weight, or do more sit-ups- and I've made friends doing it! I do it in the most evenings to ease the stress of a long day, and to improve my sleep. I love music- I find songs that match my emotions so I can express them and get them out when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I taught myself to play guitar and love to sing. My favorite thing of all is sewing. I've only really started last year, and soon fell in absolute love with it. It always makes me feel better, no matter how distressed. The process of cutting and sewing is so calming, and looking at my finished projects (patchwork quilts, pretty skirts, little knick-knacks like notebook covers) fills me with a feeling of accomplishment, confidence and pride. Other people compliment me on my finished projects, and ask me to make them things. My dream is to be a kindergarten teacher and to live in the country, surrounded by nature and away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Those are things that make me happy, confident, and enjoying life. What are yours?