Not feeling well...so here's what I did

[BenD]

Hi everyone,

I've had a bit of a messy breakup lately and its made me feel pretty low.

I've got some pretty positive behaviours going such as:

• Exercising, lots of walks
• Joined my mate for a game of footy
• Got out of bed and attended uni
• Booked a psych and Dr appointment
• Caught up for a beer and a chat with my younger brother
• Went to a quiz night with another mate
• Posting on here about my feelings

​So been here before and I know I can get through it, just the feeling of worthlessness is a pain and I wish it would go away.

Thankyou for being here as always,

Ben

[Guest_322]

Hi Ben,

Thanks for sharing some of your story. Breakups are generally almost always painful. In short, they suck and can be a huge blow to our self esteem.

But I think it's fantastic that you have some really healthy coping strategies in place like spending time with friends and family and seeking professional help. Good on you!

I like to think of your thread as a combination of sharing some of your pain and struggles but it's also a message of hope and resilience. As you said, you know you can get through this. I believe you can too.

Dottie x

[geoff]

hi Ben, I agree breakups are really disappointing and may make you feel coming off second best, but worse than that, it's a good way to begin your derpression of rejection.
Even mutual breakups still can cause great heartaches hoping that can you rejoin and back together, which may or may not happen, but you have to split up all your goods and sort out other financial decisions once made between the two of you.
Sometimes Ben it may not be the same as what you have experienced before, similar probably yes, the feeling of being lost and rejected, but if you have had that strength once before then this time may take a bit longer, but once you feel as though you can get through it, then that's a positive thought, rather than a negative thought, let yourself heal, don't try and rush it, so let the process of getting better take as much time as you need. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Ben,

I was gonna say, “Good to hear from you again”, but that’s not really the right thing … as the very fact that you’re back here, means that things aren’t overly flash. Ain’t we humans ridiculous with some of the sayings that we come out with !

Thanx for coming back and providing this most recent post.

These behaviours that you’ve outlined are amongst the things that I call, “the other mechanisms” that each of us need to have in place, almost on a daily basis, so we can continue on our journey, in relative “ok-ness”. I say “other mechanism”, because for the main part, the big ones that we should already have happening, are the GP appointments, the psych appointments (as required), meds (again, as required).

But what you’ve listed are great things and it’s awesome that you are able to single them out and also to implement them.

But Ben, worthlessness, I really would like to target that word for you. Prior to this breakup and during your relationship, I’m guessing and hoping that worthlessness wasn’t really figuring in your life. Has that only raised its ugly head due to the breakup? Breaking up makes us feel low and sad, and a whole other range of emotions, but you are the same intelligent awesome human being that you were pre and post breakup, so despite the fact that there was a break-up, I strongly believe that you are not worthless.

You’re a valuable human being and simply by coming on here and posting, with the great post you’ve provided, shows the strength that you have – and that is strength showing through in tough and dark times for you. Worthless? I think not.

Neil

[BenD]

Hi Dottie, Neil and Geoff.

The kindness of you guys is amazing sometimes. Thanks for picking me up. I hope you will let me do the same for you one day when you need it too 🙂

Dottie: It's been difficult to transition to a different type of relationship with this person, but you're right, it's one a lot of us go through. Hopefully time will fix it up.

Geoff: Nice to here from you again. I hope you are doing okay yourself. It does seem to be a matter of experience and knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Neil: You probably don't remember, but a few years ago you gave me some advice about relationships and it really struck a chord with me about maintaining a positive self-image. Despite having broken up now, the year with this particular person was really enjoyable and I don't regret it being a part of my life. So thanks for being there back then and following through now. You definitely deserve the community champion moniker.

Cheers guys,

Ben

[Guest_322]

Hey Ben,

It was great to hear from you again.

Sorry for the late response (I've admittedly been building up a bit of a backlog of posts that I haven't responded to yet lately). Oops...

Anyway...

Thank you for the kind words. Much appreciated but I think the real credit goes to you. I mean, you're the one who has been engaging in all those positive behaviours. You also have this great attitude of reciprocity. Power to you.

Dottie x