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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Charli76 A "NEWBIE" with a "Possible Helpful Tip!"😬
  • replies: 16

Hi Everyone xx Im new to this forum & hesitant about voicing my story.. BUT, in saying that. I understand that by 'helping others', I may help myself today. Ive been told by 'professionals' that "IF" YOU can get through this hour, you'll be ok! Then ... View more

Hi Everyone xx Im new to this forum & hesitant about voicing my story.. BUT, in saying that. I understand that by 'helping others', I may help myself today. Ive been told by 'professionals' that "IF" YOU can get through this hour, you'll be ok! Then try the next & so on!! At first I thought!! "Are you kidding ME!!" But, I DO try this! BUT have broken it down to be "MORE" achievable & 'specific' to my needs.. AND it "CAN HELP!" Most of the time, but unfortunately 'not always!' This HELPS 'NOT' just when I'm very LOW but to 'slow my mind' so I can concentrate sometimes. An HOUR is "WAY TOO LONG" for me!! SO INSTEAD, I "Set a Timer" on my phone for 5 minutes!! IN that 5 minutes! I TRY to "FOCUS" on "WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!" For example: Put a load of washing on or making breakfast.. Simple things that are 'easy' for most people but "EXTREMELY HARD" for some!! If I need to Stop "AFTER" the timer has gone off, I give myself a break. ( Although it's usually only around 10 minutes break!) . I have "NO NEED" to feel "GUILTY" if I do, because "I ACHIEVED MY FIRST GOAL!!" BUT ACHIEVING THAT GOAL!! It Makes me feel like if I 'Try Again" I CAN GO FURTHER!! THAN, I set another timer!! IF I managed those first 5 Minutes!! "WITHOUT!" Needing the break "AFTERWARDS" I'll "INCREASE" the Timer to 10 minutes!!! AND So on!! For ME, it's about "Pushing myself" "Slowly" & on "MY CAPABILITIES" "NOT" what anyone else says "I SHOULD" be able to do!! I sincerely hope this helps someone xx

white knight Sexual performance and medication
  • replies: 2

As we are members with disorders or carers we cannot discuss medication types. But we can describe overcoming hurdles. Between 2003 and 2009 a period when l was misdiagnosed and therefore prescibed the wrong (more) potent medication, l lost my sex dr... View more

As we are members with disorders or carers we cannot discuss medication types. But we can describe overcoming hurdles. Between 2003 and 2009 a period when l was misdiagnosed and therefore prescibed the wrong (more) potent medication, l lost my sex drive. I was 47-53yo.That issue compounded our relationship problems that of step parent issues between my daughters and my defacto gf. In 2008 l finally sought help from my GP. He prescribed a well known medication that needed to be taken at least half an hour prior to sex. The biggest barrier was that such events needed to be planned rather that spontaneity. Eventually everything returned to normal with the right medicine and new diagnosis. But it took time. If you are on medication your sex drive can be effected. If this happens talk to your GP sooner rather than later. Believe me, its no big deal, it is a downside to tolerating meds but you and your partner, once used to the routine will overcome the feeling of loss and lack of manhood. Many men feel they are less of a man by seeking some assistance. But from a females perspective you are more of a man by getting such help. Tony WK

MyProfile Pros and cons of labelling mental illness?
  • replies: 17

I was thinking today how different my life might be if I hadn't ever had my anxiety and depression labelled. It's almost a burden that I can't shake, I'm not just someone who is a "bit stressed or overwhelmed", I'm the "girl with anxiety". It's almos... View more

I was thinking today how different my life might be if I hadn't ever had my anxiety and depression labelled. It's almost a burden that I can't shake, I'm not just someone who is a "bit stressed or overwhelmed", I'm the "girl with anxiety". It's almost unfair. At age 15 I read an article on social anxiety and cried. It was a relief to know that how I was feeling was a real "thing", that people out there understood and could help. To my dismay, when I shared this with my mum, she laughed at me and told me not to be ridiculous. So it took 5 more years and a suicide attempt before I actually sought help for my anxiety and depression. So here are some pros and cons. Pros Easier to communicate with professionals Easier to find information on specific illness Can be used as an umbrella term rather than detailing to friends and family the exact little things you are feeling Labelling the way you feel can help to make you recogise you are not going crazy, it is the illness making you feel this way Cons The stigma: Some people think it's just an excuse Once you tell people your label you can't take it back and you'll always carry a "stain" Some people will avoid you once you share your label The label might not fit, or any feelings automatically get labelled by others so you feel they aren't valid, they're lumped as a problem rather than something to consider fairly For myself, I use the label as an excuse to avoid things I'm sure I could think of more but I'd love to hear others opinions. Especially cons that aren't just related to the stigma of mental illness. Please share if you have any thoughts!

white knight Inner peace, the glory of being YOU
  • replies: 6

I first heard about the term "inner peace" from my idol (Maharaji Prem Rawat) in one of his youtube speeches. He said "only you have the key to the door of your inner heart". And so his millions of followers sought that goal and upon meeting Maharaji... View more

I first heard about the term "inner peace" from my idol (Maharaji Prem Rawat) in one of his youtube speeches. He said "only you have the key to the door of your inner heart". And so his millions of followers sought that goal and upon meeting Maharaji, he'd know if they had achieved their goal. Many dont, such is the difficulty and rarity to reach your inner peace. Moving along, your own goal is for you to establish. Setting such goals is very individualistic...You'll know when you get there. I can say for myself, it all started in 1982. That year I succeeded in the following areas - finally and totally shook off the homophobia I grew up with and adopted in my earlier military days. - extended my love and affection to anyone I felt deserved it regardless of sex, religion, colour ,profession and so on - protected my inner heart by erecting barriers between me and destructive, nasty, incompatible people - carry out voluntary work within my fragile capacity - develop self confidence, grow pride and "do the right thing" - if unhappy with a partner, be brave and take action - reduce suicidal thoughts - prioritise my life which included animal care and rescue You get the picture.That was 35 years ago. Most of that developed as a work in progress ever since. What's it like to achieve "inner peace?" The euphoria is there, the confidence that I've gathered is way more than I'd ever had hoped for. Its is a total transformation over that period without any negative effect on my personality in fact it has enhanced it. Note: this change has nothing to do with other peoples views, this is your journey...alone. This has zero to do with religion although I suspect, some people could travel a similar path via such beliefs. Are you in need of self discovery? Are you dissatisfied with yourself? Do you seek ultimate calmness, free from anxiety and with much elevated confidence? If so it matters not how you get there. It matters that you identify there is a need to transform, improve yourself to the standards you set. To be a better human being. That failure to meet the expectations from others is for them to deal with. You are not in this world to meet those for they are not yours. Reaching your inner heart will achieve other things. You'll smile more often, avoid arguements easier, reach out to loved ones willingly and be more comfortable in your own skin Thats the best I can describe it. Have you found your inner peace? Are you...YOU? Tony WK

Steph_12345 Regretting time lost...suggestions for having fun
  • replies: 11

Hi. The reason I'm here is thinking about past times and opportunities lost. I have MS; which caused me to have Epilepsy. Recently, I had a severe focal seizure. In the past, I had grand mal seizures, which were well managed (eventually) with medicat... View more

Hi. The reason I'm here is thinking about past times and opportunities lost. I have MS; which caused me to have Epilepsy. Recently, I had a severe focal seizure. In the past, I had grand mal seizures, which were well managed (eventually) with medications. Hence, I'm now motivated to start having fun again! Suggestions would be much appreciated, as I have: an inability to drive and get motion sickness; used to play poker and watch movies, but now have vision issues; suffer anxiety and depression​ due to illnesses and lack of support from family members and a very small circle of really good friends. I used to travel intrastate​ often, used to be capable of activities that I miss, and am unable to work full time like I used to. Many thanks for all suggestions offered, Steph.

Infinite_Faith Cured
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I am interested in the subject mostly inspired by words from Garry McDonald on the Good Morning show. Garry spoke about being cured of his mental illness a wonderful thing. But he also stumbled over his own words as if he wasn't so sure, stat... View more

Hi all, I am interested in the subject mostly inspired by words from Garry McDonald on the Good Morning show. Garry spoke about being cured of his mental illness a wonderful thing. But he also stumbled over his own words as if he wasn't so sure, stating "well I believe I am".(Or trying to convince someone else?) I understand what Garry was saying and of course at some point you must believe you are cured. But how can you tell? I'm not trying to stir up a hornets nest here, but simply asking some questions. How do you know when you are cured by a mental illness that cannot be measured in the first place? How can I even tell if I am working in the correct direction to cure it. Okay that's why we have experts. But these experts can't see or measure the illness any better than we can? If I have depression, I need to know I am moving in the right direction (at least) to getting cured. I find this all very confusing. Issues of the mind that we can't see. Can I ask the room? How did you know when you were (totally) cured? Surely by simply telling yourself that you are "feeling better" might be a cure to a minor mental illness? Thanks for reading Steve

SarahLulu Success from the deletion of social media?
  • replies: 9

Hi there! Has anyone had any success and felt less lonely from deleting social media. I know that seems ironic. I notice I always get upset when I scroll through facebook, insta or snapchat and see my friends together without me as they constantly ex... View more

Hi there! Has anyone had any success and felt less lonely from deleting social media. I know that seems ironic. I notice I always get upset when I scroll through facebook, insta or snapchat and see my friends together without me as they constantly exclude me. I've just deactivated facebook and instagram but havent snapchat yet as I feel I don't want to be completely seperated from the online world. Has anyone felt less lonely or more lonely by deactivating facebook? I think I feel less lonely because when I was in a pscyh ward phones werent allowed so i wasnt constantly looking at that. I'm also worried that this step might actually cause my friends to exclude me more. Advice? tia

KJJ In recovery - but feelings of loneliness and isolation
  • replies: 8

Hi, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety when I was a young adult. During this time I lost many of my dear friends, and pushed people away due to my depression, anxiety, and fear even though deep down I needed them around. I co... View more

Hi, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety when I was a young adult. During this time I lost many of my dear friends, and pushed people away due to my depression, anxiety, and fear even though deep down I needed them around. I continued on antidepressants for 15 years since to keep depression at bay. I am now married and have a beautiful child with hopes of more in the future. Now I am coming off my antidepressants with the help of my psychiatrist and have been surprised by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief for the friends that I have lost. My psychiatrist says that the return of these feelings is because the antidepressants have previously masked them - and are not symptoms of depression. But I don't want this loneliness to cause the depression to return. I don't have much family support, and my job is all done from home. I get out as much as I can but still feel these feelings of deep loneliness. Has anybody else experienced this? If so how did you cope? Also does anyone have any experience in mending self esteem issues caused by issues from childhood - this is something I'd like to work on further. Thank you

BP83 Getting myself sorted
  • replies: 4

3 years ago I was hit by a car and while my injuries were only minor, due to work cover, doctors, misdiagnosis and legal matters it meant that my personal health got put on hold. I couldn't exercise, found sleeping and moving difficult, couldn't play... View more

3 years ago I was hit by a car and while my injuries were only minor, due to work cover, doctors, misdiagnosis and legal matters it meant that my personal health got put on hold. I couldn't exercise, found sleeping and moving difficult, couldn't play with my pets or kids and generally lost all confidence in myself and my ability to cope. My family and work mates were exceptionally supportive, but in myself it was difficult as I had always been able to use physical activity and being active as outlets and coping strategies for stress. This meant that my self belief was exceptionally low and other techniques just did not assist me. I tried meditation, new hobbies, mindfulness and study just to name a few. Nothing helped and I was given an initial diagnosis of Depression and Anxiety. I will note that I work in a very stressful and high intensity industry which requires me to be 'on the ball' at all times. Just before Christmas I was given the all clear and for the first time in over 3 years I was able to start exercising again, only lightly, but the difference has been immediate for me. Just small amounts of exercise have resulted in me feeling more confident and in control, even when there are those very stressful days. The fact that I have confidence in my body (mostly) to act in the way i am asking it to has given me more self belief. For 18 months I was in a dark place, but it was amazing how old routines have returned some of my confidence to me and how that in turn has made me believe in my abilities again. I wanted to share this on this thread because I needed to share my story of how coping strategies are so important and if you can find what works for you (bike riding, playing with my dog and hitting golf balls for me), it can make an incredible difference. But for us to also be aware that what works for us does not work for everyone. Every person is an individual and we should always see this.

Elizabeth CP Finding worthwhile/enjoyable things to do even when alone
  • replies: 10

Many of us have difficulty finding things which we enjoy. My psych must feel like a broken record as he tries to encourage me to find things I enjoy. Changed circumstances, finances, anxiety & depression can create barriers which are hard to break th... View more

Many of us have difficulty finding things which we enjoy. My psych must feel like a broken record as he tries to encourage me to find things I enjoy. Changed circumstances, finances, anxiety & depression can create barriers which are hard to break through. The lack of doing enjoyable activities leads to further mental health problems. I thought it would be helpful if we shared ideas of suitable activities. Since we are all different there is no right or wrong suggestion as the reader needs to decide for themself what they want to do. Hopefully the ideas can provide inspiration. I have been married for many years & have 5 adult children. For decades my life was based on doing things as a family. We enjoyed camping,swimming, exploring bushwalking etc. More recently my children have grown up & left home. My husband has developed a degenerative condition & is now blind so I am his carer. This means the things we used to enjoy are more difficult or impossible. Illness & injuries have also created barriers getting us out of the habit of going out & doing fun things. My psych keeps reminding me that I need to be learning to do things on my own because I need the respite & at some point my husband will no longer be able to do the things he can now. Going out on my own leads to guilt feelings but not doing it means the times I do have away from my husband I waste. I need to learn to enjoy myself when I'm on my own & welcome any suggestions for me & for other readers