Immediate support
Immediate support

Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Start a discussion

white knight Motivation.....search and rescue it.
  • replies: 6

I have always had quotes or short stories stuck in my head and pull them out when needed. Perhaps this is why I have bouts of positive thoughts? I've often wondered how I'd be if I didnt have them, life would be so much harder. One quote was from Kat... View more

I have always had quotes or short stories stuck in my head and pull them out when needed. Perhaps this is why I have bouts of positive thoughts? I've often wondered how I'd be if I didnt have them, life would be so much harder. One quote was from Kathy Watt, Australia's gold medalist of the early 1990's. She was asked how did she win that medal. "Well I was taught, to strive to get in the lead with 100% effort, then pull out another 10% so they cant catch you, then just as you are spent- another 10% and another. They cant catch you then." How do you "pull out another 10%" from your very best then another.? Because we are not aware of what our best is. We think we have done our best but there is more inside you than you'd ever think possible. Getting fit? Think you've done your very best at running distance? Well get a personal trainer and see how much more you can do. At 17yo I was unfit and over weight. I joined the RAAF in 1973 and for 3 months I was pushed and pushed. Seriously I thought it was the end of me. After 3 months I ran 30kms with a backpack, holding a rifle and did it in large boots. Amazing. But I had that drill corporal in my ear. The difficulty is motivating yourself.How do you dig up your inner strength to motivate yourself? I can only think of how I do it every now and then. I think of these feats people do that inspire me. Of course with depression sometimes I go a long time before I can put it back into practice. You know what I mean. Recently on TV Australia's gold medalists Ian Thorpe and Matthew Mitcham both separately had TV interviews about their struggles with depression. They both individually had another challenging issue and that was "coming out" over their sexuality. What inspiring young men. They succeeded to motivate themselves beyond imagination. Either of those interviews motivated me. What about you? Whether its just getting out of bed, don your runners,, keeping your social media idle until the end of the day, applying for double the job numbers compared to the previous week, cooking a meal for your partner....you can motivate yourself to do that extra 10% just like Kathy Watt did. Effort, 10% extra effort should be seen as an accomplishment- not the fact that you didnt succeed doing what other people do, only what you were capable of plus 10% and the next day 10% more. Maybe three steps forward and one step back. You would have searched and resuced your inner motivation. And you'll be worthy of a gold medal for effort.

Quiettall Music to help you get by
  • replies: 4

Good morning I was reading through and replying to some postings today, and have a range of different songs playing in the background to help me stay positive and strong. It got me thinking. What song or piece of music do you like to hear to help you... View more

Good morning I was reading through and replying to some postings today, and have a range of different songs playing in the background to help me stay positive and strong. It got me thinking. What song or piece of music do you like to hear to help you feel better, more positive or empowered, when you are anxious, depressed, or under the weather? For me, it is a mix, such as Pharrell Williams (Happy), or John LEnnon (Imagine) or Michael Buble (All of Me). Other days it might be Sara Bareilles (Brave) or Coldplay (A sky full of stars). What is your go-to song or piece of music, or band, or piece of poetry? I look forward to read the postings. It might also add to my growing Youtube clips (with lyrics) collection on my laptop.

saz88 How do people manage at work?
  • replies: 2

I'm starting a new job this week after my previous job wanted to say I was unfit for duty due to accessing too much leave. My new employer only provides the minimum of ten days sick leave per annum and I'm concerned as a sufferer I won't manage, what... View more

I'm starting a new job this week after my previous job wanted to say I was unfit for duty due to accessing too much leave. My new employer only provides the minimum of ten days sick leave per annum and I'm concerned as a sufferer I won't manage, what can I do to make sure my condition stays under control and I can stay well and not use sick leave. Howdy others hold down full time jobs

Steph_12345 Hilarious, embarrasing, and cheerful stories here...
  • replies: 2

I cracked up this morning. Long before I knew I had epilepsy, a primary school class was doing the game where a couple of students had to sit in front of the class; had the blackboard... (Yes, blackboards. I'm that old). behind them with the names of... View more

I cracked up this morning. Long before I knew I had epilepsy, a primary school class was doing the game where a couple of students had to sit in front of the class; had the blackboard... (Yes, blackboards. I'm that old). behind them with the names of famous people/ characters/ etc written. The students had to ask questions to guess the name of who was written behind them. Back then, I kept on laughing and said the names; how they were famous; how the character could (or couldn't) be guessed. Everyone sighed, and the teacher had to re-do names. BUT I didn't realise why the names had to be changed back then. Eventually, I was sent to the back of the class and wasn't involved in the game. I just remembered that day; realised why I 'got in trouble'; and I'm still giggling. It turns out I have gelastic epilepsy. Please share stories about others, to give those (like myself) a temporary break from depression.

white knight People, apples of empathy
  • replies: 7

Family and friends, we seem to tolerate some even though we dont get along. Imagine you work in an apple factory, your prime responsibility is to polish the apples then sort them. Rotten or bruised are put aside. The good ones are packed and sold. No... View more

Family and friends, we seem to tolerate some even though we dont get along. Imagine you work in an apple factory, your prime responsibility is to polish the apples then sort them. Rotten or bruised are put aside. The good ones are packed and sold. Not much difference in family's or friends. But many of us keep packaging the bad apples in our relationships. Why? There are a number of reasons. Fear might be at the top of the tree. Fear of alienation from others as they side with the other party. Fear that you wont find peace after the split. Fear you'll regret your decision. But you can still polish a rotten apple...just not place it in the box with the good ones. It means pigeon holing the person but not disowning them. This takes a few techniques and practice. You dont want to lie? Eg telling them you are away from your house when you are at home...and they drive by and see you car! And you dont want to be evasive as it could be obvious. What do you do? What about the truth? ...with a little tact. You have depression. You know through reading threads here that 80% or more people wont understand your condition. Based on that you are not responsible for educating that 4 in 5 people. Thats for them to learn! Try these comments - by all means drop in but if I'm asleep I might not answer the door - I'm sorry, I'd love to keep chatting but l have to catch up with my auntie I dont like too much controversy, so I'll leave you with that problem between you and our uncle. If pushed harder say - you have the choice to sort it out directly please dont include me. - I love your passion but that issue is too close to home. One technique is to ask a question with a question. Putting it back on them works. "You dont answer you door"...with "how do I answer the door when I'm sleeping". That will prompt questions of your wellness and that is education. So, you have no fear in being truthful. You arent lying. You arent offensive. Mind you, any words can be chosen to be offensive. But that is their choice. Be nice, it costs nothing. Mental illness demands a life of tranquility, as close as you can get to it considering your lifestyle. That will mean not putting those bad apples in the box for sale. But polish them and carefully slide them down the shute towards their own kind. Your life has to be a box of good apples. Google- Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue Surrounded yourself with loved ones with empathy and live in peace. Tony WK

Elizabeth CP Fight flight or freeze When to use these to manage stress more effectively
  • replies: 6

I spoke to my psych about a couple of situations I had on my recent holiday where things went wrong & I felt I didn't handle the stress effectively. I wanted ideas of strategies to use to be more effective in the future. He brought up the concept of ... View more

I spoke to my psych about a couple of situations I had on my recent holiday where things went wrong & I felt I didn't handle the stress effectively. I wanted ideas of strategies to use to be more effective in the future. He brought up the concept of fight, flight & freeze which has got me thinking. I wanted to share my thoughts & get others ideas. In both situations I became so overwhelmed I couldn't cope & ended up giving up & leaving. This left me feeling bad & led to strong physiological symptoms of stress including headache & digestive upset. His first suggestion was to stop & take slow deep breathes to regain some feeling of calm. This is the freeze stage allowing time to regroup & try to calm down. He then said given the situation walking away (flight) was wise. My ability to cope in the circumstances was not realistic. He suggested rather than seeing flight as a failure I use it in a positive way & use the stress hormones raging through my body to push myself to walk (I don't run) as fast as possible deliberately using my arms & legs to power walk until I reach a place where I can feel comfortable. The advantage s are I get to a better place quicker, I release or use all the stress hormones thus preventing them from causing long term harm and I feel more in control & it stops the negative self talk. Perhaps my future approach to stressful situations "should be: First - Freeze'' In other words stop & take slow deep breathes to allow time to make more rational decisions. Second- Fight'' -if appropriate. In this context this means doing whatever is needed to deal with the situation & fix it rather than just giving in. Third- Flight If the situation is too stressful or overwhelming & I can't see any way of 'fighting'(fixing the problem) Then deliberately leave using power walking or other physical activity to release the stress hormones until feeling calmer. Another option my grandmother used to use was to throw jam jars into the bin as hard as possible to release anger. Other people might punch a punching bag, dig the garden, or any other physical activity. What do others think? I see fight as the p

Charli76 A "NEWBIE" with a "Possible Helpful Tip!"😬
  • replies: 16

Hi Everyone xx Im new to this forum & hesitant about voicing my story.. BUT, in saying that. I understand that by 'helping others', I may help myself today. Ive been told by 'professionals' that "IF" YOU can get through this hour, you'll be ok! Then ... View more

Hi Everyone xx Im new to this forum & hesitant about voicing my story.. BUT, in saying that. I understand that by 'helping others', I may help myself today. Ive been told by 'professionals' that "IF" YOU can get through this hour, you'll be ok! Then try the next & so on!! At first I thought!! "Are you kidding ME!!" But, I DO try this! BUT have broken it down to be "MORE" achievable & 'specific' to my needs.. AND it "CAN HELP!" Most of the time, but unfortunately 'not always!' This HELPS 'NOT' just when I'm very LOW but to 'slow my mind' so I can concentrate sometimes. An HOUR is "WAY TOO LONG" for me!! SO INSTEAD, I "Set a Timer" on my phone for 5 minutes!! IN that 5 minutes! I TRY to "FOCUS" on "WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!" For example: Put a load of washing on or making breakfast.. Simple things that are 'easy' for most people but "EXTREMELY HARD" for some!! If I need to Stop "AFTER" the timer has gone off, I give myself a break. ( Although it's usually only around 10 minutes break!) . I have "NO NEED" to feel "GUILTY" if I do, because "I ACHIEVED MY FIRST GOAL!!" BUT ACHIEVING THAT GOAL!! It Makes me feel like if I 'Try Again" I CAN GO FURTHER!! THAN, I set another timer!! IF I managed those first 5 Minutes!! "WITHOUT!" Needing the break "AFTERWARDS" I'll "INCREASE" the Timer to 10 minutes!!! AND So on!! For ME, it's about "Pushing myself" "Slowly" & on "MY CAPABILITIES" "NOT" what anyone else says "I SHOULD" be able to do!! I sincerely hope this helps someone xx

white knight Sexual performance and medication
  • replies: 2

As we are members with disorders or carers we cannot discuss medication types. But we can describe overcoming hurdles. Between 2003 and 2009 a period when l was misdiagnosed and therefore prescibed the wrong (more) potent medication, l lost my sex dr... View more

As we are members with disorders or carers we cannot discuss medication types. But we can describe overcoming hurdles. Between 2003 and 2009 a period when l was misdiagnosed and therefore prescibed the wrong (more) potent medication, l lost my sex drive. I was 47-53yo.That issue compounded our relationship problems that of step parent issues between my daughters and my defacto gf. In 2008 l finally sought help from my GP. He prescribed a well known medication that needed to be taken at least half an hour prior to sex. The biggest barrier was that such events needed to be planned rather that spontaneity. Eventually everything returned to normal with the right medicine and new diagnosis. But it took time. If you are on medication your sex drive can be effected. If this happens talk to your GP sooner rather than later. Believe me, its no big deal, it is a downside to tolerating meds but you and your partner, once used to the routine will overcome the feeling of loss and lack of manhood. Many men feel they are less of a man by seeking some assistance. But from a females perspective you are more of a man by getting such help. Tony WK

MyProfile Pros and cons of labelling mental illness?
  • replies: 17

I was thinking today how different my life might be if I hadn't ever had my anxiety and depression labelled. It's almost a burden that I can't shake, I'm not just someone who is a "bit stressed or overwhelmed", I'm the "girl with anxiety". It's almos... View more

I was thinking today how different my life might be if I hadn't ever had my anxiety and depression labelled. It's almost a burden that I can't shake, I'm not just someone who is a "bit stressed or overwhelmed", I'm the "girl with anxiety". It's almost unfair. At age 15 I read an article on social anxiety and cried. It was a relief to know that how I was feeling was a real "thing", that people out there understood and could help. To my dismay, when I shared this with my mum, she laughed at me and told me not to be ridiculous. So it took 5 more years and a suicide attempt before I actually sought help for my anxiety and depression. So here are some pros and cons. Pros Easier to communicate with professionals Easier to find information on specific illness Can be used as an umbrella term rather than detailing to friends and family the exact little things you are feeling Labelling the way you feel can help to make you recogise you are not going crazy, it is the illness making you feel this way Cons The stigma: Some people think it's just an excuse Once you tell people your label you can't take it back and you'll always carry a "stain" Some people will avoid you once you share your label The label might not fit, or any feelings automatically get labelled by others so you feel they aren't valid, they're lumped as a problem rather than something to consider fairly For myself, I use the label as an excuse to avoid things I'm sure I could think of more but I'd love to hear others opinions. Especially cons that aren't just related to the stigma of mental illness. Please share if you have any thoughts!

white knight Inner peace, the glory of being YOU
  • replies: 6

I first heard about the term "inner peace" from my idol (Maharaji Prem Rawat) in one of his youtube speeches. He said "only you have the key to the door of your inner heart". And so his millions of followers sought that goal and upon meeting Maharaji... View more

I first heard about the term "inner peace" from my idol (Maharaji Prem Rawat) in one of his youtube speeches. He said "only you have the key to the door of your inner heart". And so his millions of followers sought that goal and upon meeting Maharaji, he'd know if they had achieved their goal. Many dont, such is the difficulty and rarity to reach your inner peace. Moving along, your own goal is for you to establish. Setting such goals is very individualistic...You'll know when you get there. I can say for myself, it all started in 1982. That year I succeeded in the following areas - finally and totally shook off the homophobia I grew up with and adopted in my earlier military days. - extended my love and affection to anyone I felt deserved it regardless of sex, religion, colour ,profession and so on - protected my inner heart by erecting barriers between me and destructive, nasty, incompatible people - carry out voluntary work within my fragile capacity - develop self confidence, grow pride and "do the right thing" - if unhappy with a partner, be brave and take action - reduce suicidal thoughts - prioritise my life which included animal care and rescue You get the picture.That was 35 years ago. Most of that developed as a work in progress ever since. What's it like to achieve "inner peace?" The euphoria is there, the confidence that I've gathered is way more than I'd ever had hoped for. Its is a total transformation over that period without any negative effect on my personality in fact it has enhanced it. Note: this change has nothing to do with other peoples views, this is your journey...alone. This has zero to do with religion although I suspect, some people could travel a similar path via such beliefs. Are you in need of self discovery? Are you dissatisfied with yourself? Do you seek ultimate calmness, free from anxiety and with much elevated confidence? If so it matters not how you get there. It matters that you identify there is a need to transform, improve yourself to the standards you set. To be a better human being. That failure to meet the expectations from others is for them to deal with. You are not in this world to meet those for they are not yours. Reaching your inner heart will achieve other things. You'll smile more often, avoid arguements easier, reach out to loved ones willingly and be more comfortable in your own skin Thats the best I can describe it. Have you found your inner peace? Are you...YOU? Tony WK