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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight People, apples of empathy
  • replies: 7

Family and friends, we seem to tolerate some even though we dont get along. Imagine you work in an apple factory, your prime responsibility is to polish the apples then sort them. Rotten or bruised are put aside. The good ones are packed and sold. No... View more

Family and friends, we seem to tolerate some even though we dont get along. Imagine you work in an apple factory, your prime responsibility is to polish the apples then sort them. Rotten or bruised are put aside. The good ones are packed and sold. Not much difference in family's or friends. But many of us keep packaging the bad apples in our relationships. Why? There are a number of reasons. Fear might be at the top of the tree. Fear of alienation from others as they side with the other party. Fear that you wont find peace after the split. Fear you'll regret your decision. But you can still polish a rotten apple...just not place it in the box with the good ones. It means pigeon holing the person but not disowning them. This takes a few techniques and practice. You dont want to lie? Eg telling them you are away from your house when you are at home...and they drive by and see you car! And you dont want to be evasive as it could be obvious. What do you do? What about the truth? ...with a little tact. You have depression. You know through reading threads here that 80% or more people wont understand your condition. Based on that you are not responsible for educating that 4 in 5 people. Thats for them to learn! Try these comments - by all means drop in but if I'm asleep I might not answer the door - I'm sorry, I'd love to keep chatting but l have to catch up with my auntie I dont like too much controversy, so I'll leave you with that problem between you and our uncle. If pushed harder say - you have the choice to sort it out directly please dont include me. - I love your passion but that issue is too close to home. One technique is to ask a question with a question. Putting it back on them works. "You dont answer you door"...with "how do I answer the door when I'm sleeping". That will prompt questions of your wellness and that is education. So, you have no fear in being truthful. You arent lying. You arent offensive. Mind you, any words can be chosen to be offensive. But that is their choice. Be nice, it costs nothing. Mental illness demands a life of tranquility, as close as you can get to it considering your lifestyle. That will mean not putting those bad apples in the box for sale. But polish them and carefully slide them down the shute towards their own kind. Your life has to be a box of good apples. Google- Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue Surrounded yourself with loved ones with empathy and live in peace. Tony WK

Elizabeth CP Fight flight or freeze When to use these to manage stress more effectively
  • replies: 6

I spoke to my psych about a couple of situations I had on my recent holiday where things went wrong & I felt I didn't handle the stress effectively. I wanted ideas of strategies to use to be more effective in the future. He brought up the concept of ... View more

I spoke to my psych about a couple of situations I had on my recent holiday where things went wrong & I felt I didn't handle the stress effectively. I wanted ideas of strategies to use to be more effective in the future. He brought up the concept of fight, flight & freeze which has got me thinking. I wanted to share my thoughts & get others ideas. In both situations I became so overwhelmed I couldn't cope & ended up giving up & leaving. This left me feeling bad & led to strong physiological symptoms of stress including headache & digestive upset. His first suggestion was to stop & take slow deep breathes to regain some feeling of calm. This is the freeze stage allowing time to regroup & try to calm down. He then said given the situation walking away (flight) was wise. My ability to cope in the circumstances was not realistic. He suggested rather than seeing flight as a failure I use it in a positive way & use the stress hormones raging through my body to push myself to walk (I don't run) as fast as possible deliberately using my arms & legs to power walk until I reach a place where I can feel comfortable. The advantage s are I get to a better place quicker, I release or use all the stress hormones thus preventing them from causing long term harm and I feel more in control & it stops the negative self talk. Perhaps my future approach to stressful situations "should be: First - Freeze'' In other words stop & take slow deep breathes to allow time to make more rational decisions. Second- Fight'' -if appropriate. In this context this means doing whatever is needed to deal with the situation & fix it rather than just giving in. Third- Flight If the situation is too stressful or overwhelming & I can't see any way of 'fighting'(fixing the problem) Then deliberately leave using power walking or other physical activity to release the stress hormones until feeling calmer. Another option my grandmother used to use was to throw jam jars into the bin as hard as possible to release anger. Other people might punch a punching bag, dig the garden, or any other physical activity. What do others think? I see fight as the p

Charli76 A "NEWBIE" with a "Possible Helpful Tip!"😬
  • replies: 16

Hi Everyone xx Im new to this forum & hesitant about voicing my story.. BUT, in saying that. I understand that by 'helping others', I may help myself today. Ive been told by 'professionals' that "IF" YOU can get through this hour, you'll be ok! Then ... View more

Hi Everyone xx Im new to this forum & hesitant about voicing my story.. BUT, in saying that. I understand that by 'helping others', I may help myself today. Ive been told by 'professionals' that "IF" YOU can get through this hour, you'll be ok! Then try the next & so on!! At first I thought!! "Are you kidding ME!!" But, I DO try this! BUT have broken it down to be "MORE" achievable & 'specific' to my needs.. AND it "CAN HELP!" Most of the time, but unfortunately 'not always!' This HELPS 'NOT' just when I'm very LOW but to 'slow my mind' so I can concentrate sometimes. An HOUR is "WAY TOO LONG" for me!! SO INSTEAD, I "Set a Timer" on my phone for 5 minutes!! IN that 5 minutes! I TRY to "FOCUS" on "WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!" For example: Put a load of washing on or making breakfast.. Simple things that are 'easy' for most people but "EXTREMELY HARD" for some!! If I need to Stop "AFTER" the timer has gone off, I give myself a break. ( Although it's usually only around 10 minutes break!) . I have "NO NEED" to feel "GUILTY" if I do, because "I ACHIEVED MY FIRST GOAL!!" BUT ACHIEVING THAT GOAL!! It Makes me feel like if I 'Try Again" I CAN GO FURTHER!! THAN, I set another timer!! IF I managed those first 5 Minutes!! "WITHOUT!" Needing the break "AFTERWARDS" I'll "INCREASE" the Timer to 10 minutes!!! AND So on!! For ME, it's about "Pushing myself" "Slowly" & on "MY CAPABILITIES" "NOT" what anyone else says "I SHOULD" be able to do!! I sincerely hope this helps someone xx

white knight Sexual performance and medication
  • replies: 2

As we are members with disorders or carers we cannot discuss medication types. But we can describe overcoming hurdles. Between 2003 and 2009 a period when l was misdiagnosed and therefore prescibed the wrong (more) potent medication, l lost my sex dr... View more

As we are members with disorders or carers we cannot discuss medication types. But we can describe overcoming hurdles. Between 2003 and 2009 a period when l was misdiagnosed and therefore prescibed the wrong (more) potent medication, l lost my sex drive. I was 47-53yo.That issue compounded our relationship problems that of step parent issues between my daughters and my defacto gf. In 2008 l finally sought help from my GP. He prescribed a well known medication that needed to be taken at least half an hour prior to sex. The biggest barrier was that such events needed to be planned rather that spontaneity. Eventually everything returned to normal with the right medicine and new diagnosis. But it took time. If you are on medication your sex drive can be effected. If this happens talk to your GP sooner rather than later. Believe me, its no big deal, it is a downside to tolerating meds but you and your partner, once used to the routine will overcome the feeling of loss and lack of manhood. Many men feel they are less of a man by seeking some assistance. But from a females perspective you are more of a man by getting such help. Tony WK

MyProfile Pros and cons of labelling mental illness?
  • replies: 17

I was thinking today how different my life might be if I hadn't ever had my anxiety and depression labelled. It's almost a burden that I can't shake, I'm not just someone who is a "bit stressed or overwhelmed", I'm the "girl with anxiety". It's almos... View more

I was thinking today how different my life might be if I hadn't ever had my anxiety and depression labelled. It's almost a burden that I can't shake, I'm not just someone who is a "bit stressed or overwhelmed", I'm the "girl with anxiety". It's almost unfair. At age 15 I read an article on social anxiety and cried. It was a relief to know that how I was feeling was a real "thing", that people out there understood and could help. To my dismay, when I shared this with my mum, she laughed at me and told me not to be ridiculous. So it took 5 more years and a suicide attempt before I actually sought help for my anxiety and depression. So here are some pros and cons. Pros Easier to communicate with professionals Easier to find information on specific illness Can be used as an umbrella term rather than detailing to friends and family the exact little things you are feeling Labelling the way you feel can help to make you recogise you are not going crazy, it is the illness making you feel this way Cons The stigma: Some people think it's just an excuse Once you tell people your label you can't take it back and you'll always carry a "stain" Some people will avoid you once you share your label The label might not fit, or any feelings automatically get labelled by others so you feel they aren't valid, they're lumped as a problem rather than something to consider fairly For myself, I use the label as an excuse to avoid things I'm sure I could think of more but I'd love to hear others opinions. Especially cons that aren't just related to the stigma of mental illness. Please share if you have any thoughts!

white knight Inner peace, the glory of being YOU
  • replies: 6

I first heard about the term "inner peace" from my idol (Maharaji Prem Rawat) in one of his youtube speeches. He said "only you have the key to the door of your inner heart". And so his millions of followers sought that goal and upon meeting Maharaji... View more

I first heard about the term "inner peace" from my idol (Maharaji Prem Rawat) in one of his youtube speeches. He said "only you have the key to the door of your inner heart". And so his millions of followers sought that goal and upon meeting Maharaji, he'd know if they had achieved their goal. Many dont, such is the difficulty and rarity to reach your inner peace. Moving along, your own goal is for you to establish. Setting such goals is very individualistic...You'll know when you get there. I can say for myself, it all started in 1982. That year I succeeded in the following areas - finally and totally shook off the homophobia I grew up with and adopted in my earlier military days. - extended my love and affection to anyone I felt deserved it regardless of sex, religion, colour ,profession and so on - protected my inner heart by erecting barriers between me and destructive, nasty, incompatible people - carry out voluntary work within my fragile capacity - develop self confidence, grow pride and "do the right thing" - if unhappy with a partner, be brave and take action - reduce suicidal thoughts - prioritise my life which included animal care and rescue You get the picture.That was 35 years ago. Most of that developed as a work in progress ever since. What's it like to achieve "inner peace?" The euphoria is there, the confidence that I've gathered is way more than I'd ever had hoped for. Its is a total transformation over that period without any negative effect on my personality in fact it has enhanced it. Note: this change has nothing to do with other peoples views, this is your journey...alone. This has zero to do with religion although I suspect, some people could travel a similar path via such beliefs. Are you in need of self discovery? Are you dissatisfied with yourself? Do you seek ultimate calmness, free from anxiety and with much elevated confidence? If so it matters not how you get there. It matters that you identify there is a need to transform, improve yourself to the standards you set. To be a better human being. That failure to meet the expectations from others is for them to deal with. You are not in this world to meet those for they are not yours. Reaching your inner heart will achieve other things. You'll smile more often, avoid arguements easier, reach out to loved ones willingly and be more comfortable in your own skin Thats the best I can describe it. Have you found your inner peace? Are you...YOU? Tony WK

Steph_12345 Regretting time lost...suggestions for having fun
  • replies: 11

Hi. The reason I'm here is thinking about past times and opportunities lost. I have MS; which caused me to have Epilepsy. Recently, I had a severe focal seizure. In the past, I had grand mal seizures, which were well managed (eventually) with medicat... View more

Hi. The reason I'm here is thinking about past times and opportunities lost. I have MS; which caused me to have Epilepsy. Recently, I had a severe focal seizure. In the past, I had grand mal seizures, which were well managed (eventually) with medications. Hence, I'm now motivated to start having fun again! Suggestions would be much appreciated, as I have: an inability to drive and get motion sickness; used to play poker and watch movies, but now have vision issues; suffer anxiety and depression​ due to illnesses and lack of support from family members and a very small circle of really good friends. I used to travel intrastate​ often, used to be capable of activities that I miss, and am unable to work full time like I used to. Many thanks for all suggestions offered, Steph.

Infinite_Faith Cured
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I am interested in the subject mostly inspired by words from Garry McDonald on the Good Morning show. Garry spoke about being cured of his mental illness a wonderful thing. But he also stumbled over his own words as if he wasn't so sure, stat... View more

Hi all, I am interested in the subject mostly inspired by words from Garry McDonald on the Good Morning show. Garry spoke about being cured of his mental illness a wonderful thing. But he also stumbled over his own words as if he wasn't so sure, stating "well I believe I am".(Or trying to convince someone else?) I understand what Garry was saying and of course at some point you must believe you are cured. But how can you tell? I'm not trying to stir up a hornets nest here, but simply asking some questions. How do you know when you are cured by a mental illness that cannot be measured in the first place? How can I even tell if I am working in the correct direction to cure it. Okay that's why we have experts. But these experts can't see or measure the illness any better than we can? If I have depression, I need to know I am moving in the right direction (at least) to getting cured. I find this all very confusing. Issues of the mind that we can't see. Can I ask the room? How did you know when you were (totally) cured? Surely by simply telling yourself that you are "feeling better" might be a cure to a minor mental illness? Thanks for reading Steve

SarahLulu Success from the deletion of social media?
  • replies: 9

Hi there! Has anyone had any success and felt less lonely from deleting social media. I know that seems ironic. I notice I always get upset when I scroll through facebook, insta or snapchat and see my friends together without me as they constantly ex... View more

Hi there! Has anyone had any success and felt less lonely from deleting social media. I know that seems ironic. I notice I always get upset when I scroll through facebook, insta or snapchat and see my friends together without me as they constantly exclude me. I've just deactivated facebook and instagram but havent snapchat yet as I feel I don't want to be completely seperated from the online world. Has anyone felt less lonely or more lonely by deactivating facebook? I think I feel less lonely because when I was in a pscyh ward phones werent allowed so i wasnt constantly looking at that. I'm also worried that this step might actually cause my friends to exclude me more. Advice? tia

KJJ In recovery - but feelings of loneliness and isolation
  • replies: 8

Hi, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety when I was a young adult. During this time I lost many of my dear friends, and pushed people away due to my depression, anxiety, and fear even though deep down I needed them around. I co... View more

Hi, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety when I was a young adult. During this time I lost many of my dear friends, and pushed people away due to my depression, anxiety, and fear even though deep down I needed them around. I continued on antidepressants for 15 years since to keep depression at bay. I am now married and have a beautiful child with hopes of more in the future. Now I am coming off my antidepressants with the help of my psychiatrist and have been surprised by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief for the friends that I have lost. My psychiatrist says that the return of these feelings is because the antidepressants have previously masked them - and are not symptoms of depression. But I don't want this loneliness to cause the depression to return. I don't have much family support, and my job is all done from home. I get out as much as I can but still feel these feelings of deep loneliness. Has anybody else experienced this? If so how did you cope? Also does anyone have any experience in mending self esteem issues caused by issues from childhood - this is something I'd like to work on further. Thank you