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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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SourceShield --->>> OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts! <<<---
  • replies: 303

Greetings! This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT. --- This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourse... View more

Greetings! This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT. --- This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourselves, that we all have had for much of our life. Our beliefs are personal, and yet oddly the 'same' as well. --- There is a school of thought that teaches us that when we identify the OTT i.e. I am unlovable. Relate to the OTT, rather than from it. We can then release the attachment to the OTT, as well as the aversion to the OTT. For example - A child is told that they are no good, useless and worthless, every other day. -sadly, this is a story often told, by many. As this child grows a set of OTT have been programmed into the mind-body of the now grown adult-child. I am no good. I am useless. I am worthless. etc etc etc The adult-child now has an attachment to the OTT. But also you would see an aversion to those OTT as well. I am no good <- the attachment. And, I hate that I am no good <- the aversion. The judgement for having the OTT in the first place, keeps us attached to the OTT. --- Not all beliefs are limiting. All beliefs are fluid. They are mutable - liable to change, as all things in existence are! But... How do we release the OTT? Thats what we're most interested in!. I am going to share a few things of how I am learning to release all of the OTT that once ruled my life, and would love to read yours as well!. 1) Refer to the OTT being in the past. If we keep on affirming the OTT in the present moment, it stays in the present moment. By writing and talking about the OTT being in the past, youre correcting the memory. REWIRE! 2) I AUGMENT positive memories. Whatever they are, whenever they happened. This is why I actively look for things to be thankful and grateful for. Appreciation, heals! And thats now science...if youre interested in the research about this, let me know! 3) I have learned to ask for help, and to RECEIVE it graciously, whenever it comes to me. And, it always does. 4) I SMILE and LAUGH more. Theres research for this too! 5) I have changed my eating habits. I EAT WELL now. I am now on the Guts and Psychology Syndrome foodplan GAPS. I used to be obese. No more. 6) I EXPRESS in healthy ways - dance, music, write.. 7) I take time out to LOVE - my family, friends, my dog bundy, nature.. REMEMBERING to LOVE is a biggie!. And, whatta 'bout you?...

Just Sara Confusication!
  • replies: 12

Confused Communication; I sent my mum a msg today saying; "I'm getting some lunch and will be out afterwards" When I walked thru the door, she asked where her lunch was. "Umm..." We had a laugh about it while I made her a sandwich. Miscommunication a... View more

Confused Communication; I sent my mum a msg today saying; "I'm getting some lunch and will be out afterwards" When I walked thru the door, she asked where her lunch was. "Umm..." We had a laugh about it while I made her a sandwich. Miscommunication and misunderstandings are common with texting and msg's, especially with the amount of new mobile short-cut language now and gestures of smiley faces and the like. Emoticons are easier to identify but still may confuse people. Writing here on BB can also be misconstrued or misinterpreted and cause some uncomfortable feelings; it's not easy to read between the lines. Of course this happens face to face too, and can turn into an argument or disagreement when one person is trying to get something across and the other is confused. Anger, suspicion, fear or emotional hurt may follow. I recently msg'd someone with a playful gesture and was responded to with a distant overtone. It upset me and made me wonder what I'd said to receive such an indifferent reply. This person gained my trust thru positive gestures, words and phrases that gave me a sense of safety and trust. My msg was meant to engage in a non serious and playful manner, very different from previous msg's. It was my way of saying I felt more at ease, safe and relieved within our new found connection. Men and women can communicate very differently, so 'confusications' between the sexes can erupt into all sorts of mis-read interpretations. After thinking about my playful words and gesture, it seemed it could've been interpreted as a proposal of becoming closer; more intimate. (Not sure actually) Time will tell. Due to dealing with issues of anxiety and depression for instance, gestures and words can turn into the 'what ifs' very quickly. Panic about how to deal with such misunderstandings can escalate into major problem solving mode to confuse things even further. Then, collateral damage. My son replied to me one day with; "ok..woteva" I rang him immediately. He told me he spoke like this to all his friends. I told him I found it disrespectful and hurtful, and not to use this language with me again. Has anyone had any similar experiences like these?

Girl_Anachronism Pet Appreciation Thread
  • replies: 23

Good Morning All, I was watching my two cats this morning and realised just how much they have helped me. I have been in a low place for such a long time, that honestly a week or two ago, the only reason I could stand to wake up and get out of bed wa... View more

Good Morning All, I was watching my two cats this morning and realised just how much they have helped me. I have been in a low place for such a long time, that honestly a week or two ago, the only reason I could stand to wake up and get out of bed was because my two beautiful cats needed me to feed them, to love them. I would then go back to bed on the worst days. The only reason I didn't attempt to take my own life was the thought that they would need me tomorrow to do the same. I could go from unable to cry in despair to actually smiling and laughing at one of my cats chasing each other or jumping up on the bed for some love and attention. Since then I have another thing- a project I am working on to hold me here that I am actually enjoying. I haven't enjoyed something in months. So while I know that there are many aspects to recovering- health professionals, family, friends, these forums and medication. All of which I need to combine to get better. I am not that much better at the moment, but I am a little better. I wouldn't have been here to feel this, if it weren't for my beautiful cats. So this post is dedicated not only to my two furry friends, Sydney and Mayflower, but to all the pets out there, be they cats or dogs or rabbits or fish. When we feel at our lowest and we can't possibly talk to another human bieng, our pets come up to us and ask for nothing than to be in our company. Sometimes they save us from ourselves. GA

Guest_3072 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS???
  • replies: 40

Hey everyone, What do you guys think of new year's resolutions? Do you guys have any for 2017? ...I need ideas lol Gabby

Hey everyone, What do you guys think of new year's resolutions? Do you guys have any for 2017? ...I need ideas lol Gabby

happyannie 2 thoughts for the day
  • replies: 4

The struggle,youre in today Is developing the strength You need for tomorrow...... The world is full of Good people If you cant find one Be one! I would love to hear other peoples thoughts... Annie

The struggle,youre in today Is developing the strength You need for tomorrow...... The world is full of Good people If you cant find one Be one! I would love to hear other peoples thoughts... Annie

MarkJT No More Zero Days
  • replies: 2

So an idea was floated and i love it. It is called 'No more zero days". What does this mean? It means that to help you recover and to help keep yourself healthy, you make a practice of having no zero days. No zero days are the days where you do absol... View more

So an idea was floated and i love it. It is called 'No more zero days". What does this mean? It means that to help you recover and to help keep yourself healthy, you make a practice of having no zero days. No zero days are the days where you do absolutely nothing. Like lay in ed all day. This are obviously counter productive to recovery and self care. If you find yourself having one of these days, do one push up, walk around the block, cook something healthy, practice some mindfulness, something, anything, just dont do nothing, i.e. have a zero day. I am well advanced in my recovery from PTSD and i still have days where i want to do nothing but i at least have to achieve at least one thing on those days. I now have a name to apply to it...a no zero day. Perhaps make a list of things or activities you can do if you find yourseld in danger of having a zero day so you have an easy reference point. Good luck and lets all collectively have no zero days! Mark.

Kal08 Changing my mindset!
  • replies: 3

Recently I have felt negative, everything made me mad or annoyed, I felt as if something was always going wrong. I stepped back and tried to appreciate all the things that made me happy, and all the things I take for granted every day. I thought abou... View more

Recently I have felt negative, everything made me mad or annoyed, I felt as if something was always going wrong. I stepped back and tried to appreciate all the things that made me happy, and all the things I take for granted every day. I thought about how lucky I was in life and didnt focus on the things going wrong. Life is too short to focus on all the small things. I re prioritesed my focus and energy onto things that matter, Family, Friends, Uni, Work and things that make me happy. What are some small (or big) things in your life you appreciate day to day that you could easily take for granted? Or what is something you take for granted that you need to appreciate more of? Today I appreciated the smell of the fresh country air when I said goodbye to my fiance at our front door (even though it was 5am and I was tired) I also appreciated that I had I could go back inside, turn my tap on, fill up my kettle and sit and enjoy a cup of coffee. xxx

Just Sara '''Self trust''' - a path to recovery, or too difficult a task?
  • replies: 6

Hi all posters and readers; A recent situation occurred which proved valuable in learning to trust myself to be a better person for me, not 'them'. Many times I've read about people who say their trust has been eroded in everyone and everything in th... View more

Hi all posters and readers; A recent situation occurred which proved valuable in learning to trust myself to be a better person for me, not 'them'. Many times I've read about people who say their trust has been eroded in everyone and everything in the world; suffering with agoraphobia, or becoming a hermit by choice. I suffered a break-down and then anxiety/panic symptoms for yrs, but have had relief due to acting on my own behalf instead of relying on those around me to change, or pleasing them because they refuse to change. This meant I had to learn to trust 'my' judgement, motivation and skill in communicating what I wanted. It also meant learning to defend my position tactfully, without being swayed by emotional threats or fear of the same. When I first started doing this, albeit clumsily, others resented it, argued, ignored me or gave unpleasant looks. Yes, it was hard to say the least. But as I persevered, my skill and resolve improved. No, I still don't trust those around me to do right by me. However, 'they' are learning not to abuse me or my resolve now, and blow me down with a feather; they're changing! Standing up for me, without previous fear, gives a real sense of freedom and empowerment. How brave are you? Would you consider standing your ground with people you're scared of being yourself around? Could you trust yourself to do right by you; tactfully? Would you rather feel happy when you go home from a family gathering, or feel resentment and inadequacy while complaining to your spouse in the car afterwards? First time posters are welcome to respond too. Sara

blondguy GOOGLE: The Good and the Bad on Mental Health
  • replies: 6

Hi Everybody and New Posters! This isnt an anti Google Thread. Its only my experience after having chronic anxiety followed by depression since 1983. Google is an invaluable search tool and used daily by billions of people globally, however... When i... View more

Hi Everybody and New Posters! This isnt an anti Google Thread. Its only my experience after having chronic anxiety followed by depression since 1983. Google is an invaluable search tool and used daily by billions of people globally, however... When it comes to researching mental health it has flaws and there are many. When a person is trying to 'self heal' or 'self diagnose' it can sometimes make us feel worse or even exacerbate any existing symptoms that we have. Sure we may learn something about our symptoms but to a 'tired' mind it can become bewildering, confusing not to mention depressing due to the tonnage of information available The Beyond Blue Anxiety/Depression Checklist may save you a lot of frustration/anguish prior to using Google www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety-and-depression-checklist-k10 If you have had success or frustration using Google to self diagnose or even just check on a symptom please post and let us know your views my kind thoughts Paul

white knight Forgiveness and forgeting. The two "F's" for love
  • replies: 6

The two F's, my own idea of maintaining an ability to overcome so many hurtful situations. I've listened to friends and acquaintances talk about how they "draw the line" with their spouse when it came to splitting up. "he rubbished my son and that wa... View more

The two F's, my own idea of maintaining an ability to overcome so many hurtful situations. I've listened to friends and acquaintances talk about how they "draw the line" with their spouse when it came to splitting up. "he rubbished my son and that was the end of the line"..."she brought up my previous marriage and I knew then that was the end of us" -these words can be decisive in ones action to leave their partner. But are they only words? I mean actions are a different story. Affairs,gambling, incompatibility, bashings etc are in my mind far more substantial as reasons to leave your partner. What of the rare argument/slanging match whereby you yell and scream over domestic issues? Yes, we all do have our "line" we draw but I ask you...when does pride overtake wisdom? Pride overtake love? Where does the act of forgiveness have its place? And where does forgetting come into its own? During our worse arguments we are not ourselves.If we arent ourselves then is being out of control acceptable? Post argument it can all come down to regret, asking forgiveness and most importantly...moving on successfully. Moving on depends on your ability to put the words and minor actions behind you. Not drag them up even in your own mind. I had a friend. He and his wife had an argument.During the height of the 'war' she threw mince meat at the guys face. He was stunned. The argument was over her not leaving the kitchen while he baked sausage rolls for her ladies group the next day. Her almost obsession with cleaning took over and she was placing items he was using in the dishwasher. It became unworkable and he snapped. She yelled, he yelled, then she threw the mince. Initially he was so stunned he yelled "that's it, nobody assaults me in that manner, its over".30 minutes later she returned to the kitchen distressed. She asked forgiveness. She pleaded he not leave her.She was totally distraught. He sat her down and told her that his love extends so far that he would forgive her and then told her, "I will also never recall that you threw mince at my face, that is part of my act of forgiveness- for I love you". It was assault, it was demeaning, it was stupid and unnecessary. His kindness for her was at the time in cooking something for her group.She knew it. But he also knew that she meant well by cleaning up. Turns out she was having a change of life. We all have arguments but love can extend far further than you think. After all, its only words....and a bit of mince...