Healthy body image tips

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

I thought this thread might be helpful for developing healthy body image.

In saying that, these are just general tips and can't replace medical and allied health advice but I thought such a thread would be helpful.

You may or may not find these tips helpful- either is okay- but I thought that I would share things that I have learnt over the years.

Please feel free to share your own tips 😊

- not labelling food as "good" or "bad." Food is food.

- get a full body check to make sure there aren't physical health problems that are causing food/appetite issues.

- this is a really difficult one (because it's hard work and emotionally painful) but finding the root cause(s) of your binge eating/purging/deprivation/etc because food is often a "symptom" of a deeper wound. Sometimes this requires help from a psychologist, counsellor or other health professional.

- avoid discussions about kj/calories with friends and loved ones. Same goes for conversations where you put yourselves down for your weight and physical appearance.

- when complimenting friends and loved ones, try to make it about their personal attributes as opposed to their appearance.

- remember that photos online and in magazines are usually airbrushed.

- be wary of competitive dieting and exercising with friends. While it's great if you and a friend want to motivate each other to exercise and eat well in a supportive and healthy way, it's another thing when it turns into a competition.

- try to avoid fad diets.

- minimise constantly checking e.g. obsessive use of scales, pinching your stomach, etc. Try to set limits as to how often you check yourself/body e.g. weighing yourself once a week (for general health reasons).

- if you find that there are certain things that "trigger" unhealthy behaviours then minimise contact with those things/get rid of them. For example, I don't own a set of scales anymore because every time that I've had easy access to one, I end up weighing myself multiple times every single day, which in turn, triggers another set of unhealthy behaviours and on it goes...

- surround yourself with people who don't make you feel bad about your body and appearance. By the same token, minimise contact with people who criticise you for your appearance, engage in competitive dieting, etc.

- only lose/gain weight for your own sake and not because someone else is pressuring you to do it. It's your body.

- And remember, your weight doesn't define you.

Dottie x

[startingnew]

Hi everyone, just reading through this post. I think body image in these days are sending the wrong signals tbh.
'oh your overweight' looks away awkwardly, or avoids that person.
'oh your too skinny' same repsonse
'id k**l for a body figure like yours'

'id date you if you were skinnier'

id date you if you were taller

the magazines these days are edited so much that their true beauty will never be seen and that really is a shame. there is no perfect body.


Im by no means a healthy weight and no im not happy about it and am working on it but thats my opinion not anyone elses response. People should be able to show their flaws and be proud of it.
People who have scars esp those in view, I myself now have a very large from from the C word but that just says to me that im a survivour, something ive gotten through and can tell the tale of it.


Through both primary and high school I was bullied chronically to the point where I wanted to end my life because of it and when I fought back they physically beat me. People really are cruel and a lot of it is uncalled for.


I dont shy away from anyone physically. Its their personality that turns me off more than physical appearance. I think people should be able to show their flaws and all and be comfortable in their own skin.


But we also have to look at ourselves and be happy in our own skin. Some things cant be changed so we can embrace them but the things that can be changed then have a go at changing them but dont loose sight of who you really are on the inside. Your inner and true self not just your physical being.

be yourself, everyone else is taken!

[Guest_1055]

Your last sentence is so very true Starting new....

The outside of us is... the bones, muscles, skin etc. It is a vessel that carries us around. Like you say, the inner true self. This is us.

I think we do need to take care of this vessel, ie eat healthy, exercise, quality sleep. Because if we don't our physical bodies ( vessel) gets damaged like sickness, overweight or whatever. Then it cannot hold us properly.

Anyway good post starting new, and I am sorrry you were bullied. I would have helped you back then if I saw that situation.

Shell xx

[swtpotato]

Hi all,

Sn. I am sorry you experienced such cruelty. It is really senseless isn't it.

I like your post. True about the magazines. I think we all like to think we're too smart to think we should look like a random model in a magazine, but it really does affect us all subconsciously, infecting our thoughts about ourselves. I think what I tend to do is take the average of all the people around me, and think I should look more like that. Rather than appreciating and noticing all the differences in all of us.

I was watching all the people walking around uni today -- and was admiring everyone as their whole beings. People don't tend to naturally separate others into body parts - we look holistically and appreciate everything that makes a person them. But then I look at myself and think..I hate my mouth, my chin, my hair, my chest, my height etc etc thinking it should be more like the norm (which doesn't exist anyway).

Shell: I like the concept of the body as a vessel. That's what I try telling myself. I am a vessel of experience! I am in my movement, my actions, how I enact my values and personality....

When we separate our being into static body parts we are denying the life inside of us that everyone else sees. In real life (so not the media, the magazines, hollywood movies etc) it is very hard to separate being and body. Think about your friends/loved ones? It seems absurd to take the life out of the body and then judge it by itself!

Very interesting thread..

m

[startingnew]

Hi Shell
thank you for your support. Your right we are a vessel and we have to take care of ourselves in the right way as well. Eating healthy, exercising and things like that too as it can lead to worse health problems and in turn mental health issues as well.
But the most important thing is our self identity and our own happiness in the way our carry ourselves.




HI M


I liked your post to, its good to have different point of views in these things and no one is wrong. I agree, we like to think it doesnt affect us but really deep down who doesnt want the magazine 'perfect' body. But its fake. Theres too much editiing. So what the model doesnt have abs or cant see hips, geez people have kids, hormonal changes. We are forever changing.


We are our own worst enemies, we are so down on ourselves and so busy comparing ourselves to others we start to loose ourselves and who we are because we get so wrapped up in looks and what the 'right' perceptions should be. I cant talk, I still do the same thing but the thing I dont like about msyelf im on my way to changing and its my weight. I want to get back down to a healthy weight and when I say healthy I mean a good BMI not what others think I should be.

[MsPurple]

HI guys. Thought I would pop back in. SN you are completely right. Like you I don't judge someone for their flaws, appearance, weight, etc. I don't know their personal story. They could have medical issues, be on medication etc. Who am I to judge? We are all just trying to live a happy life on this earth.

I feel like I am struggling with self image and body image at the moment. I have lost some weight since the start of the year. It was intentional and I did it through exercise and relatively healthy eating (not perfect, probably too much some days and not enough other days). From my post above I may have it my weight loss goal, but I do question whether it is 'enough'. It is hard because sometimes my old ED tells me it's all about the number on the scales, but my logical brain knows it's about cm loss, building muscle and getting fitter for my goal of completing an Olympic tri next year. It can be hard to ignore sometimes. I have this overwhelming need to be perfect from the outside in even though I know it is not obtainable. I do sometimes have these mini bad points with body image. It happens every now and again. Although I am recovered from my ED aspects of it can flare up from time to time and it sucks. People don't seem to understand that yes you can recover from ED but aspects of it may always be there or come and go in waves (I guess like any other mental illness).

I don't really have a goal to look like anyone I don't think. I guess I just compare myself to others, and feel like 'if I gained weight I'd be a disappointment'. My logical part of my brain knows this isn't true, but it is hard to believe sometimes. At the end of the day I would like look in the mirror and truely be happy. For the moment to work on my body image and self esteem I try say one thing I like about my appearance. It helps and one day I will just know I am beautiful and worthy without having to force myself to say it.

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I read on the "do you love yourself thread" an idea that stuck with me...

About how we feel about and view ourselves being influenced by our experiences and the opinions and actions of others.

This I agree with. I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I want to feel at ease in my skin but the memories of past traumas won't let me be.

How do you improve your self esteem and self worth when things like diet and appearance and weight and exercise and food all trigger memories you'd rather forget?

Exercise reminds me of things...

The ex who would drop me at the gym "walk home after you need the exercise"

The ex monitoring my weight and putting me down in front of others.

Mum buying me a wardobe of new clothes 2 sizes too small "think of it as encouragement".

Mum again "Thank God you're doing something about your weight I didn't know how to mention it without upsetting you"

Family commenting on my sister (who is beautiful)... "She has such perfect skin. And the hair! What a shame she's overweight", "she would be so beautiful if she would just lose some weight".

Even hubby joking "don't worry I'll tell you if you start getting a shelf ass".

Trying to pamper myself and feel feminine reminds me of things.

A complete stranger at the nursery "You shouldn't bite your nails. A girl like you... You need to put more effort into your appearance"

My family "put a beard on you and you'd be your Dad... Well except for the boobs".

The boss "please tell me you have an appointment to fix your hair. If you can't get an appointment today use annual leave until it looks decent".

The boy at school who thought it was funny to grab at the bra strap through my shirt and flick it. As if being the only 9 year old with boobs wasn't embarrassing enough.

The ex. Pretty much everything he said and did sex or body related. Sneaking into the shower in a halloween mask. Booking me in to have my hair done and standing there telling them what he wanted.

Even trying to build my self esteem reminds me of things

The ex laughing "Belly dancing? You? Nat that's generally for the sexy kind of girls".

Mum "it's great you're sticking to the exercise classes you've lost a bit of weight. Just keep at it".

How do I escape this? I want to feel ok in my own skin. Part of that is looking after my body better.

But... How do you move on from the lessons people have taught you about yourself??

Any ideas?

[Plain_Jaine]

Hi Nat, I'm Jaine and was talking about this, sort of, on my first post. Can't sleep and thought I'd join the forum instead of the gym.

As for your a-hole ex husband? It might help to wash his mouth out with break fluid!!! I mean soap. oops

I never married, so I don't have to deal with a man's views of my looks. I'm pretty severe on myself anyway, but that's allowed.

Why's your family so fixated on your looks anyway? Don't they have mirrors? I've yet to see perfection in anyone, though Richard Gere might come close about 25 years ago.

I sort of look a bit like Nicole Kidman, except my hair's straight and more blonde than hers. I was always really skinny. I'm shorter than Nicole. But then again, isn't everybody?

Anyway, body image. I dont' think I'd be the person I am without the encouragement from my parents who always said I looked beautiful in my usual white T shirt and blue jeans. I learned quickly though letting my hair down at work caused men to change around me. I hated it.

One day I put it up in a pony tail thinking I'd put them off, but it got worse. So I began wearing it in a bun at the back of my head. Went and bought a pair of glasses with just glass in them, and wore neck to knee skirts and dresses until I was promoted as their boss. Then I let my hair down. Suckers!

Seriously though, I'm not doing the 'getting older' thing very well. I want my 30 year old self back. Make that 29. I had little boobs then. Now they're pancakes sitting on my chest. Body of a 12 year old boy.

Oh boy! I'm tired. Sorry I haven't given you any ideas. My personal life hasn't been that amazing. I worked too much.

Thanks for listening

[velvetfaerie]

Hi guys, 😎😎😎😎

oh I am so glad I found this thread. I’ve had ED/body image issues since I was..... I remember it started when I was 6 or 7. I wouldn’t eat. Parents had me at hospital lots as a kid. Then as a teenager I wouldn’t eat either... but then It was more binge and purge...

Even now I’m a chronic calorie counter. And I do lots of exercise, some weeks crazier than others.

I don’t know how I evolved to be like this. I truly don’t.

I’m an average size 12/14 with perfect hour glass measurements. Girls at the gym say they are jealous as you can’t train to get my shape... it’s genetic. Boobs, bum and tiny waist. Makes clothes shopping difficult at times 😐😐😐

I still don’t like it.

Flip side reading your stories have hit a nerve... I’m so sad all you lovely ladies have endured the things you’ve expressed here. I understand. What happened to us?

😔

[Guest_1055]

Hello all,

Nat I read your post and then started to wonder if this is the truth. The people like your dad etc, who have said all those comments to you are really reflecting there own self. They place there worth perhaps in the way they look on the outside or something.

The reason I say this is because there are a couple of people in my life who when they see me, they comment on how I look. Like they only see the surface and do not bother to see me ....the person me who happens to be walking around in this particular physical body. It is like they do not see a deeper aspect of life or something. Or are uncomfortable to go beyond the surface. All the while I am thinking "please see me" the person me. I want to be known, I am inside this physical body.

Anyway Nat....Gosh I have lost the plot now, my thoughts are no more. I will try again later.

bye all

shell x

[Guest_1055]

The truth as in .... what they are saying is a reflection of themselves and who they are and really not about you at all.

okay totally confused myself.....

Me xx