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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Kate850 Tips and Tricks for - self-care, resilience in the work place, supporting colleagues with mental health needs & managing vicarious trauma
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I've come across a range of challenges this year that has significantly impacted my mental health. I would like to know if anyone has any specific personal strategies or attitudes they adopt to help them deal with the following key challenges... View more

Hi all, I've come across a range of challenges this year that has significantly impacted my mental health. I would like to know if anyone has any specific personal strategies or attitudes they adopt to help them deal with the following key challenges. I've asked a range of questions that might be answered when considering these challenges but course any extra comment or elaboration is welcomed. - Self-care: How do you self-identify when it is time to 'pull-back' at work and take some time out? How do you check-in with yourself? What strategies do you build into your day to make sure you are in-touch with how you are feeling? - Resilience: How do you process and work through challenging situations with colleagues? (i.e. conflict at work, personality differences, politics, communication breakdown). What attitudes, mantras, ethical values help you to 'carry on' and weather workplace demands? How do you distance yourself from problems at work? Prevent yourself from taking it home with you? - Supporting Colleagues with Mental Health Needs/Vicarious Trauma When a colleague or client is experiencing a high degree of distress, how do you provide practical on-the-ground support without 'sinking with the ship'? What strategies do you put in place to manage good rapport with colleagues whilst maintaining emotional boundaries? (i.e. not exposing yourself too much to other's personal disclosure/off-loading of psychological and social difficulties). I work in the healthcare industry but I imagine these themes or issues are commonly experienced in a range of industries. Any additional resources, websites, training courses would also be welcomed if you know of any! Thanks, K

Bethie How to say No?
  • replies: 2

Hi I've recently found it harder and harder to say No to to people. When I say no to my 14 year old son I my anxiety really acts up with feelings of self doubt and thinking I'm a bad mum. It gets to the point where I get angry at him. He doesn't exac... View more

Hi I've recently found it harder and harder to say No to to people. When I say no to my 14 year old son I my anxiety really acts up with feelings of self doubt and thinking I'm a bad mum. It gets to the point where I get angry at him. He doesn't exactly miss out on anything. All his school stuff is brought well ahead of time and activities are paid months in advance he does out of school. Christmas alone he's had just over $800 worth of gifts. Not like the basic shoes/clothes but new BMX frame (over $500) and a new pocket bike to name a few. Even when friends ask me for a coffee and I'm busy I still find myself squeezing the time in because I can't say no. I never used to be like this before my husbands accident 7 months ago. All I basically had to do then was go to work and makes sure everything was paid on time and my husband took care of the rest because I was making very good money. ATM I've gone on carers payment to look after him for a while but I know I've still got my job when ever I want it. Luxury of being a trade. Dor a anyone else find those 2 letters N O hard?

Tasa83 Summer Solstice and sleep disturbances
  • replies: 1

I am an insomniac and despite all my sleep tricks (music, total darkness, grounding exercises and sleeping pills) I was still awake until 6am. For no reason. I was very tired and wanted to sleep but nothing helped. The earlier it got the more anxious... View more

I am an insomniac and despite all my sleep tricks (music, total darkness, grounding exercises and sleeping pills) I was still awake until 6am. For no reason. I was very tired and wanted to sleep but nothing helped. The earlier it got the more anxious I got the less sleep I got. I have issues with daylight savings and seasonal affective disorder so I’m wondering if last night’s lack of sleep was the Summer Solstice. Does anyone else get affected by stuff like weather and time changes?

white knight Coping with anniversaries
  • replies: 0

Over many years I've had a change in my thinking processes from high emotional reaction to logic explainations. This one I share with you because it has been one of the building blocks to how I cope. Lets take the anniversary to a marriage break up b... View more

Over many years I've had a change in my thinking processes from high emotional reaction to logic explainations. This one I share with you because it has been one of the building blocks to how I cope. Lets take the anniversary to a marriage break up being a week before xmas. That week years ago was terrible, drowning in grief your xmas was wrecked. If you are anniversary sensitive you could easily not only remember the date but also inadvertently kick start the grieving process all over again..and ruin another xmas, and another..."this day 10 years ago he left me" An anniversary in realistic terms is a point in time when the earth is at the same point rotating around our sun, nothing more. A friend of mine has OCD and is adament he takes his medication bang on the minute after 9am. In fact he stands ready, watching the clock until 9am on the dot!. Its odd to me because if such paranoia on time was so important he was actually a full hour out of whack during the daylight saving months. See the problem with obsession with time? Some people harbour anniversaries so much it effects their mental health. A friend of mine has a diary of her daily life. Nightly she reads what happened the year before on that day. She was so tired one night she missed reading her diary. The next night she decided to catch up and realised she had missed the anniversary of her divorce. Her divorce had been 5 years earlier. She plunged into sadness for a day. A day wasted? The miss had triggered her depression. I asked her why the day was so important "its the day I got divorced" I asked her to retrieve the divorce papers...the actual date was a month before the anniversary, she locked her mind on the day she received notification in the mail. Once informed of that she realised how irrelevant her rituals of day recognition actually was, that such over emphasis on anniversaries is counter productive and can work against your recovery. A trigger. Anniversaries are great, if they are ones to celebrate not mourn. Replace the grieving dates with a ritual of a memory like flowers on a gravesite or a few minutes reflecting on a bad day in the past but keep it in perspective and enjoy the rest of the day. After all, its only where the earth is in its orbit...nothing more...and life is short. But guys, dont forget your wedding anniversary what ever you do. Tony WK

ScarlettR Do you find that drinking certain hot beverages reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety?
  • replies: 4

I had taken to drinking hot coffee at least once every day. I suffer from depression and anxiety, all caused by a psychotic illness. There are times during the day or night when I get really anxious over the future - such as how I'll manage living in... View more

I had taken to drinking hot coffee at least once every day. I suffer from depression and anxiety, all caused by a psychotic illness. There are times during the day or night when I get really anxious over the future - such as how I'll manage living independently away from the parents, the risk of homelessness (I'm on a low income with no support from extended family or friends), and also the fact that one day I may wake up and discover I have no family. For about an hour or so, I suffer from these thoughts. Then I slowly get up and prepare myself hot coffee mixed with Coffee Mate - and I find that drinking a warm, creamy beverage helps! This may be a no-brainer topic - millions over the world drink coffee because it's a stimulant and a anti-depressant. I find it's especially good for those suffering from poor mental health. It's not only the beverage itself that is nice, but also the whole preparation - from selecting a cup to choosing the amount of sugar and turning on the kettle. I feel like I'm working in a fast-paced cafe and it gives me a sense of meaning and belonging. Thoughts? :]

white knight Control your life
  • replies: 9

Taking control of your life eludes so many of us with mental issues. There are the common reasons, we possess guilty feelings if our decisions mean rejecting others, our decision might result in less contact, our decisions might mean we move away. An... View more

Taking control of your life eludes so many of us with mental issues. There are the common reasons, we possess guilty feelings if our decisions mean rejecting others, our decision might result in less contact, our decisions might mean we move away. And there is the feeling we have that we are selfish. While other people are important there is NO ONE more important than the members of our immediate family...who ever they might be. Immediate family are those half dozen or so close members or a best friend. Christmas however is another level altogether. There we are meeting people we haven't seen all year long and making every effort to please them. Family members we detest from the moment we dread their physical embrace to when they leave and we exhale heavily as they drive off. Well its time to make some changes don't you think? Why attend a family xmas gathering only to sight an uncle that sexually abused you? Obligation? We need to embrace our needs, as part of our recovery ritual. Tough love can often be used on our children and loved ones when they need it, then we need the same. Tough decisions is to prevent you being a victim to narcissists, to defend us against nasty, incompatible and even evil relatives that make our festive time excruciating and causes us to dwell on that annual meeting for days....enough! Google Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue In that thread I mention the need to rid our lives of toxic people. Sure give them chances to change but some of these people we see once a year have done horrendous things to us and don't deserve a second chance. We have every right to draw an imaginary line of tolerance in the sand. People can be manipulating for example and time and time again we forgive them not realizing their nature is what it is, that that manipulation will never change? Perhaps in the short term change is noticeable but a year or two later the same event reoccurs? When is enough? I'd suggest enough is when you are no longer comfortable with that persons company to the point whereby you are upset for more than a few hours. That's my gauge but you can have your own and that judgement might include opinions from your spouse. The biggest issue here is the effect of such a decision to ban these abrasive people from your life.. that such decision is hard for you to make on a personal level and hard because of risk of conflict. Try discussing such decisions earlier in the year. Be reasonable but firm, control your life. Tony WK

white knight Cooking for the carer
  • replies: 0

I am aware that many people aren’t good at cooking. Fair enough to. But, there are some recipes out there that are so easy a 5yo child could do. If you are not working, depressed and unmotivated, what if you could spend 15 minutes on a recipe and you... View more

I am aware that many people aren’t good at cooking. Fair enough to. But, there are some recipes out there that are so easy a 5yo child could do. If you are not working, depressed and unmotivated, what if you could spend 15 minutes on a recipe and your working carer arrives home with a cooked meal? And you are still in bed? One of the best tools for the kitchen we found is our slow cooker. If you haven’t got one get one. And buy the larger model. Take this recipe. Cut up two chicken breasts into cubes Cut two medium onions Fry them in a fry pan until they are brown. Put aside Dice up any vegetables Place all of the above in the slow cooker with one litre of chicken stock and salt and pepper Done. Your carer walks in 6 hours later and presto. You’ve made him/her smile. Just because we have depression and we feel unmotivated doesn't mean our carer has to carry the total burden of home life and work life. We should look after them the best we can. Gestures like this can go a long way to preventing their burn out. Do you have an easy recipe you can recommend? Good luck Tony WK

Chris_B ASK JAY - Q&A for alcohol, drugs, gambling and addiction issues NOW CLOSED
  • replies: 24

Hi everyone, This a new thread we're opening up to discuss alcohol, drugs, gambling and addiction issues. Here to answer your questions is Jay Jaggard, beyondblue's clinical adviser and project manager of suicide prevention. Jay has a social work bac... View more

Hi everyone, This a new thread we're opening up to discuss alcohol, drugs, gambling and addiction issues. Here to answer your questions is Jay Jaggard, beyondblue's clinical adviser and project manager of suicide prevention. Jay has a social work background – her career spans 20 years working in alcohol and other drug, mental health and gambling in clinical, policy and management roles – harm reduction and supporting people to live their best possible lives are at the heart of everything she does. She has lived and worked in a range of places that contain some seriously scary wildlife including Perth (great whites), Darwin (crocs, box jellyfish) and Melbourne (Collingwood supporters). Jay will be here for a live Q&A launch of this thread on Tuesday 12 December between 12:30pm and 1:30pm, please come back then to post your questions. After that, we will be leaving this thread open for you to post your questions to Jay, and she'll be able to get back to you here on the forums within 24-48 hours in between her other work commitments.

Petra When it's not healthy to compare the pair!
  • replies: 102

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me tho... View more

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me though, and quickly, and unexpectedly, which can bring me down with a thud .... comparing. I don't spend too much time via media celebrity watching for this reason, have never been big on it, wasn't close enough to home to warrant my attention but a snippet of it, or just seeing others sometimes is a trigger. Once on the 'comparing' track I start with the self loathing eg I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.... and worse....my husband can do better than me! I know.... (head lowered here).... how much he truly loves me, and would be horrified if I shared this thought with him. Sorry....that's why I'm sharing it with you! This intrusive thinking is downright annoying and unhealthy. This is one bump in my otherwise smooth journey at the moment. I'm seeing a psych soon and this will be one of my opening lines....but just wondering if anyone else has thoughts on 'comparing oneself to others'? Pet

white knight You are sliding.....what can you do?
  • replies: 5

One of my biggest issues with mental struggles is - when feeling well I don't feel I'll ever be ill again. This perception has proven me wrong time and time again and over a long period of time I've noticed a couple of telltales that are like warning... View more

One of my biggest issues with mental struggles is - when feeling well I don't feel I'll ever be ill again. This perception has proven me wrong time and time again and over a long period of time I've noticed a couple of telltales that are like warning lights in my head...I know a bout of depression is coming. MY telltale signs are- I'm yearning for stimulation eg I'm bored, I feel the constraints of financial stress, I desire to be alone more often (like I want to hide) and feeling anger with revengeful thoughts (that are never acted out). If I don't act on the above issues and let them go, more often than not within 2 days or so I'll be depressed and the effort to reverse the slide will be much harder. So, having identified my triggers or better still "telltales" I put a plan into action. eg being bored is an easy one for me to counter...I set about making a project in my shed using secondhand materials, a garden seat, a caravan (my latest project) this makes me active and actually makes my mind focus on that one activity so much so I rarely have my music on. Financial stress is harder. But my wife and I now tackle that well. Some time ago we drew up a budget, aimed at eliminating credit cards for debit card and put money each fortnight into our power account etc. No surprise bills in this house now. Feeling I want to be alone. This can be overwhelming but rather than walk from our house and cause my caring wife concern I tell her that feeling is there and she knows to make herself less "in my space". She just plans her day a little differently by being more illusive. Once that feeling subsides we share a coffee.Feeling revengeful is the toughest of them all. It comes about by thinking of the past way too much. I suffer guilt badly and want often to fly a time machine to the past to apologise to all those I've wronged. How can I possibly counter those thoughts? Well, again its a case of keeping busy but also mixing it with being realistic. Telling myself it isn't productive to want to stew over the past, the past is gone, life isn't perfect and finally telling myself that most people wronged others by far worse actions than I have. I was young then, I'm much older now...I was misguided and lacked wisdom. Find your telltale signs. Read them, acknowledge them and try to counter them. Having professional medical people manage your struggles is great but there are some self help ideas that might just help you.... stop your slide. Tony WK