Good reads and how did you find them helpful

[CMF]

Hi,

I am often on the lookout for good books to read to help with anxiety, self confidence, positivity and the like. I thought perhaps we could share what we have found interesting and helpful.

A friend recently lent me a book called "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" by Doreen Virtue. This book has the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as i resonate with so much of it. My friend told me it changed her life. There is one chapter in particular called "toxic relationships" and it talks about the different types of toxicity. Well I have to say whilst reading this chapter I kept saying to my myself OMG, OMG. It has made me realise just how toxic a certain person in my life is, he fits into most categories. It has made me breathe a sigh of relief, to understand that his type of behaviour really is toxic and not acceptable, it's not me over reacting or being over sensitive. It's re confirmed that to find peace i need to keep my distance from him as much as possible. i've realised that I am not a disgrace, or useless, or stupid. The issue is with him,not me, he needs the help.

For anyone who has been in any sort of abusive relationship, who suffers anxiety, depression because of how they have been treated, anyone who is making excuses for someone, trying to justify their behaviour, this is a good read. This book is about learning how to speak up in relationships without being drawn into the drama, learning when to walk away, how to maintain inner peace whilst having boundaries and how to overcome fears about saying 'no'.

This book has been a revelation for me. It is about things i knew but was denying to myself. It has reaffirmed that i am a worthy person, a good person, a person with a good heart trying to do my best with what i have. It has given me a sense of calm (for now) and peace as i realise I am not what i have been made to believe i am. I am better than that. My actions do not come from being a "bad" person they are in retaliation to how i have been treated and spoken to.

I hope others can read this and start to feel better about themselves.

CMF

[Wilma1]

Penguin Bloom, by Cameron Bloom. A simple true story of courage, hope and love. Great photography. Being made into a movie at the moment. Wishful

[Wanderlustress]

Hi CMF,

Thanks for your recommendations! 🙂

I think the 'Assertiveness for Earth's angels' would be absolutely helpful for me. The moment I saw 'toxic relationships' I was like - 'yep.' I suffer from the 'agreeable' monster and I'm always seen as a pushover by my 'loved' ones and sometimes those around me.

I am also chronically indecisive. It's what made me stay in an abusive relationship for years. When I mean years. I mean decades, as a passive bystander to my own life.

A few books that has changed me quite profoundly. Here's two.

"What do I do now?" by Dr Charles Foster - This book had me nodding away and wiping a tear or two because it resonated so deeply within me. How I let fear and fear of the unknown cripple me into into indecision, self-doubt, and self-hatred.

The part where he helps you pinpoint what I 'really' wanted and looking for my 'authentic' self in a decision...I thought was like a curtain unveiling for me. You know how many times you're stuck in a decision of 'what you want' vs 'what you ought to do', and many times you just can't discern that difference between the two? Bang on, that is me through and through.

That my world is actually a lot bigger than I make of it - I have more options than I realise I have. And not deciding until I am ready. What is ready? Turning a big decision to many little steps - because you then realise that every decision starts with taking one step at a time. And lastly - no decision is final. No decision is the end all and be all. Everything is a work in progress. 🙂

"The Art of letting go of the person you used to be" by Lama Surya Das

This book saved my life. I was suicidal. Lost. And I was dying of starvation because of an eating disorder. I was reeling from trauma from being betrayed and lied to for over 3 years by a "loved" one.

It helped me realise I had intrinsic worth. That life's events are a passing wind. That I needed to find acceptance in myself before I could move anywhere. How to be mindful, how to let go. How to not take upon the energies and burdens of others, and to understand I did this because I cared about people, and I would inadvertently attract some types of people who would use this energy selfishly. Letting go meant self-awareness and this book helped me unpack so many of my emotions in this difficult period.

I hope these two books would be of some help to others as it did me. 🙂

[startingnew]

hi

i ahvent read them personally but ive been told they are great. theres 2 of them

one is called you can heal your life and the other is you can heal your mind

these books are both by louise hay and are full of positive affirmations and things to help you change your mindset.

even if you just look up louise hay it comes up heaps of affirmations

[CMF]

I picked up a book today called "be mindful and simplify your life" by Kate James.

I've only flicked through it but i can see already that it will be handy reference and a reminder how to keep things simple and focus on the good in life.

[Wilma1]

Frazzled, by Ruby Wax is a great fun read on modern mindfulness. She manages to teach the basics with a great sense of humour mixed throughout the book.

She's been caught in the business of life and depression and managing to break through. I'm almost finished and managing to use some of her suggestions throughout the day.

[CMF]

Hi Wilma,

sounds good. I Ike that it is done with some humour. Even though there is nothing funny about having mental health conditions sometimes the humour can help lift our spirits.

thx

cmf

[CMF]

Hi startingnew,

I googled Louise Hay, loved her quotes. I'll have to keep an eye out for her books.

Thanks

cmf