Feeling a bit like a fraud!

[Bonnie B]

I have recently had some minor-ish emergency surgery that has resulted in me having a wound that is taking its time to heal.  Now, I wasn't bitten by a shark, or had burns to 90% of my body or had to have surgery to remove a cancerous lesion.  It really was minor in the big scheme of things but the wound is stopping me from going to the gym weekly and stopping me doing my regular aqua aerobics class, it has to be packed and dressed every two days by the community nurse.  And I need to make sure that it stays dry and clean at all times.  Today I was in tears after I had the dressing done again because its been so slow to heal.   It's really starting to get me down, but, as I said, it really isn't a biggie, so why do I feel so miserable?  I've been giving this some thought......  While I had to have some previous surgery after I had my first child (38 years ago), I'm now nearly 65 years old and this is the first time that I've really felt that my body has let me down.  And I know that my age is against me when it comes to wound healing, but as I am a fairly healthy person (no diabetes, heart disease etc) I really wasn't expecting that I'd still have the wound nearly one month after the surgery (it's healing but very slowly).  So, I'm venting here, because I feel a bit like a fraud when I admit to feeling down in the dumps, over something, that is relatively minor.  There are heaps of people going through a whole lot worse that me, who really do have the right to feel down about their circumstances.  Thanks for reading my post!

[Croix]

Dear Bonnie B~

Welcome back to the Forum, I hope the years in between have been kind to you.

I'm wondering if you might be being a little impatient. If you are under constant medical care and your wound is being supervised every two days I think the nurse would have said if everything was not in order - do you think that is a realistic view?

I do realise you have gone from a healthy active life going to the gym each week and having an aqua aerobics class to a temporary time when you are much more limited. Just the change in routine and feeling htat you are powerless to do anything about it can certainly make a person feel restless, dissented and impatient. Particularly if you prided yourself on your abilities.

If you add to the the fact the wound is slow - by your standards -to heal maybe that reminds you that the years have slipped by since your last surgery and your body is responding more slowly as one might expect - not necessarily the most cheerful of thoughts.

Take these together and anyone would be upset and perhaps be in tears. Why that should make you feel a fraud I'm not sure, except I suspect you are judging your body's ability to recover speedily as if it was a fair bit younger.

If you are in any doubt about the wound please do go see your doctor and get another opinion on what to expect.

I am sure in time you will be able to resume your former lifestyle. In the meantime is there anything you can do htat doe not involve physical activity to keep you occupied or distracted from your situation? I use books, but then again we are all different.

May I ask if you are facing this all alone or are there others around to support you?

Croix