Determining the cause- anxiety/depression

[Michy007]

I'm hoping to hear others stories, re how anxiety is determined (the cause). 
Or are there many out there who suffer with anxiety, and unclear what the true cause is?
My understanding is there can be causes that go deeper than what appears on the surface.
I also don't refer to it as 'my anxiety' as that would indicate 'I own it' when I don't. 
I don't own it, yet I do need to understand the what, and how? (what is the underlying cause, and then understand how to 'fix')
For some of us, triggers or fears can come from an early age, and only ever trying to find our way through life, whatever that entails. I believe it is fair to say that many of us find the only way we can navigate our way through life, is based on learnt survival skills from an early age. Survival skills we learnt, haven't always worked in life. I have a fair idea as to what has shaped my life, trauma from a young age. Then events through life became somewhat traumatic- traumatic in comparison to say someone who didn't come from a dysfunctional family. 
None of this is new to me, yet have to say that I've never learned to 'unlearn' thoughts, and learn new ones that are helpful. 
I’ve had major struggles with thought processes in life, resulting in anxiety and depression, even if just from time to time. I’ve seen many therapists through life, yet none who have been able to break it down, in a way that makes sense, or to create change. Never seeming to get to the root problem. Whether it is abandonment issues/fear, or whatever, to-date I’ve just not found the right help.  I would be most interested to hear of others stories, even if still having challenges

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Michy, I relate 100%. I know now that I am so much better when I am closer to the things I really enjoy, especially those that involve connecting with others. But I have to travel to other towns or the city to access most of those things. My town is very isolating with limited options and it sounds like yours may be that way too. When I visit the city I notice how I really pick up, but to return to the city, where both buying and rental options are tighter and less affordable than ever, is very difficult. So I know what you mean about dealing with "what is". I have been trying to practise radical acceptance which works a bit, but it's still a struggle, isn't it.

When I visit the city or a larger town and catch up with friends, doing something like going to a movie or a concert, it kind of transforms me. I am totally starved of those things here and I deeply miss the human connection so, so much. But I did join an online community linked to a course I did a while ago, and that has meant there are people I can meet with online from time to time. That is better than nothing, but there is no replacement for real life human contact. Anyway, I empathise, and I imagine we will find a way through. I am thinking now of the saying - "Necessity is the mother of invention", and I think eventually we just find a way because we have to for our own well being. Wishing you the best!

[FaithHopeLove]

hi i am writing 2 say i think its nt always easy 2 determine the cause whilst i reflect on my own situation im thinking bout how much trauma i have experienced & whether these add up within a subconscious level i think 4 me its a case of unprocessed trauma i think wat i find 2 help is giving myself that kindness & compassion 2 knw that i dnt have 2b perfect & we r all a work in progress when is life ever perfect 4 any1 i am nt sure it exists we r all on the journey of life i just want 2 write also 2 remind urself ur nt alone we need 2 stay linked in with community. Self preservation is key finding wat helps u 4 me i luv 2 walk at the beach & luv food 2 i was chatting 2 a lady b4 on the chat & she reiterated re self kindness & i think we need 2b reminded of self kindness we need 2 help ourselves 1st if we r 2b able 2 help ppl

[Michy007]

Hi FaithHopeLove
I've actually been feeling better in myself lately. There is no set formula for anxiety/depression, yet there are a few things I'm aware of that can help. Having things to look forward to in life is an important one, and so I've been working on that, even just meetups with social group (dog group) is good to get out, exercise, and meet new people, &/or get to know regulars. That is just one example. There are many groups, different interests. The heat of summer often becomes a problem here, my location in the Hunter region, many 40+ days, which leads me to somewhat confinement too much of the time. And so there's been lots of things going on for me, I've just been working through them. Being in nowhere land on the job front has been an issue, yet I'm just going at my own pace atm. I've found being alone, too much time on my own, over lengthy periods (days turn into weeks) can have me spiralling downwards fast, hence why I'm trying to pay more attention to that by planning some outings here and there with others. Basically I'm doing ok atm, largely because I am paying more attention to what it is I need to do for myself. Exercise is a big one for me, and I'd say anyone who suffers from anxiety/depression may do well to exercise, or increase. I plan to start yoga next week now. I've found once I take that step, I will feel motivated to make it part of my routine. Definitely helps keep the mind healthy, and settled. I'm happy to chat more, if you'd like to.
As an overall (my summary re anxiety/depression) I find being alone too much is the, if not, one of the biggest problems. Feeling completely disconnected, even though I have quite a few close friends. Hence why planning some things ahead of time, even as possibilities, is an incredibly important thing for me personally.
I hope you're doing ok. It's not easy going through those moments of darkness, aloneness. Happy to chat more as I say. Take care for now ok. Cheers