A great point smallwolf and can relate to much of what others have written
I have had some lovely Christmas Days over my lifetime Random years different company How many? Far less than those where others have spoilt the day. Yes I know that I allowed this. At the time guards down , lacking energy to keep boundaries fortified I think that many know the drift
I have had far more disappointing, wretched, miserable ones sadly
Expectations, competing, Judgement, Eye rolling, exchanging glances,
Rush, rush, rush, rush to eat far too much rich food
Mad panic to get alarming number of presents
Can look like Santa's cave at my extended family place
I love to see the young children who are there happy and I tend to focus my energy and time on them
A great way to avoid those whose company I no longer wish to spend time in
Thank you seems to come very hard to more people than I care to think about.
It actually is not hard to pronounce and does not cost money Oh well Learn not to expect and work hard at not being disappointed Yes another strategy challenge
I also skilfully avoid sitting near to certain people
It is actually, thinking about it as I write, a strategic game of challenge and risk fraught with danger at every turn
I once spent a day having a picnic lunch in a park with a friend who had mental illness and his daughter would not invite him to her house to see his grandson which really hurt me thinking about that
There were four of us and it was so relaxing calming
This year recovering surgery so home alone Yes depression will arrive with tears flowing at some stage
I know that this is a possibility so I pass through the waves somehow and there is always tomorrow
Hope that is not too much Apologies if depressing
I have fatigue as well Just wanted to acknowledge and contribute
Cheers to you all however you spend your day
My belief do what you want, how you want and with or without whom you want
That is me this year
Ems
