Changing meds

[Messer]

Hi - I'm new.

I am a middle-aged woman with depression. I've had depression for 30+ years and been on and off medication over the last 15 or so.

As well as the stress of lockdown, I am experiencing unpleasant symptoms with menopause and going through relationship counselling. I gave up drinking a few years ago - it was a great thing for me to give up because I had been treating alcohol as an escape hatch. It was pretty unhealthy.

At the moment I am changing medications so effectively have been unmedicated for the last week (time weaning off old one, waiting for new one to kick in). It is hellish. I am having some side effects from the new meds (insomnia is the worst) without yet experiencing relief. I know I just have to be patient.

I have a great GP who is really supportive and helpful. She has referred me to a menopause specialist and helped with a mental health plan and this new medication. Objectively I have so much help and so many resources available to me - I feel such guilt for being so miserable and numb, but I can't shake myself out of it. My concentration is shot so it is hard to distract myself, even with TV (and work is terrifying).

I am trying to be positive. But I am so scared - I don't know how to get through the next few days.

[Ggrand]

Hello Messer,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

Im so sorry that your going the side effects of changing meds...It takes about 6-8 weeks for your new meds to kick in properly..and it can be a very hard to manage..

Congratulations on giving up alcohol..that’s so good..

Please don’t feel guilty at all..it’s hard to shake depression..which can cause us to loose our concentration..making it hard to distract ourselves..I find for me sitting outside and practicing mindfulness helps me at times..when I’m struggling to get out of a depressive downer....

Does your GP know of the side effects your experiencing..if not maybe a phone consultation to let her know...she might be able to help you with some reassurance or med adjustment....

Talk here anytime you feel up to it...We are here for you and we do care about you..

My kindest thoughts dear Messer...

Grandy..

[The_Bro]

Hi Messer and a very big welcome to our forum!

What's a male doing replying to your post about menopause issues? Well my wife went through exactly the same problems as you for well over a year. With 'The change', she was questioning her personal worth, not very respectful to our relationship or family, and it got pretty awful from time to time.

It was time to reinforce the love and respect I had for her, show as much empathy as I could, and read as much as I could about menopause and what a partner can do to help. Yes, it was not easy!

Please take your relationship counselling seriously as you don't want to muck things up over what will most probably be a relatively short period in your life. Menopause blues affect most women from what I can learn, and there is great online information and advice.

Life has much to offer. Try to calm your mind by focussing on your daily routine. Social interaction with friends will help of course, with friends that make you laugh, even though you may feel like hiding away. Try and discuss it with your partner and make it clear how much you value that person's support. This one is hard as it may well be too easy for you to lose self respect at this time, when what you want is helpful understanding..

My own relationship recovered very powerfully thank God, and we sometimes reminisce about the strain it placed on us at the time.

New exercises, things and challenges may help as well. What have you always wanted to do but never got around to?

Again, thank you for taking the courage to reach out. I am happy to chat at any time and do hope that some of the above may help just a little bit.

All the best, The Bro

[Messer]

Thank you so much for your kind words and generous support. Much appreciated!

Time has passed and the worst of it has passed (I hope) - at least it feels that way.

Thanks again!

Messer

[Messer]

Thank you - it is interesting to hear from the other side of the menopause experience. It is so easy to forget that what I am going through physically now, is only what I am going through now. This won't go on forever.

I am doing my best to keep communication going with my partner.

Thanks for taking the time to reach out to me.

Messer

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Messer,

I am pleased that today you’re feeling better...

Like a lot of mental health issues and menopause, everyone experiences things differently...I guess I was one of the lucky ones who didn’t had no symptoms...I wish every woman had no symptoms...

So true lively Messer....you’re symptoms will pass for you..I wish that it’s sooner rather then later..

My kindest thoughts Messer...

Grandy..