Changing habits

[CMF]

Changing habits can be hard. We get up the same time every day, do the same things the same way. Same old, same old, we become programmed to doing things a certain way, like a robot. Sometimes we need to reassess these daily habits.

I read an article once about how much money we could save if we only bought what we absolutely needed, no more impulsive buys of things we don't need. I always use my debit card to pay for things. I rarely carry cash, just tap or swipe and off i go. Trouble with this is we can lose track of spending until we look at our bank balance. $5 here, $2 there, oh look, thats on sale I'll just get it 'just in case'. I've decided to change this. I have set myself a daily budget (subject to adjustment). From now on my goal is to withdraw money for the week based on my daily budget. I will no longer tap or swipe my card but try and stick to using cash only. My budget includes groceries, petrol and my daily chai and necessities for the kids. If I don't use the allocated amount each day I hang onto it, if i go over it means I have less for the next day. The aim of this is to not live down to the last cent every week and what is left in the account hopefully grow and help pay bills or cover any 'wants' now and then. It makes me conscious of what i am buying and thinking' do i really need this'. It also makes me conscious of what i buy at the supermarket, looking for items on sale and cheaper options. I am one of those people who will see a top on sale for $5 or a bag or shoes for $10 and think 'wow what a bargain,I'll just get it" I have found that these bargains tend to sit in the cupboard, then get moved to the shed when I have a clean out and eventually go to the brotherhood bin because i never used them. I'm an emotional shopper, i buy little things because it makes me feel good. My goal is to change this habit . If i am bored and feel the urge to go shopping I may clean out a cupboard instead or clean up the garden. I have enough of everything i need. I'm hoping this new habit will improve the way i feel as i see I am achieving something and maybe even not going down to the last cent every week which is depressing and causes more emotional spending. I also want to get a container and each day put $1 in it. Just $1. By the end of the year that is $365. I really want to do this. If I can stick to this and I am still struggling then i need to look at what needs to change.

Do you have any habits you want to change?

CMF

[white knight]

Hi CMF great initiative

Food. I saw once on ACA an elderly couple with their evening meal on a small bread and butter plate. It was a miniature roast meal. He explained two things- that the human body can survive on very little food and...that people in aged care arent grossly over weight.

Just another area one can cut down.

Ps I'm grossly over weight!

Tony WK

[blondguy]

Hey CMF

I would love to stop being so hard on myself as its a waste of my mental and physical energy....and lifespan!

I have been trying to ditch my 'Type A' personality for years as its the worst one to have. Always trying to achieve silly & unrealistic goals....I have spent many years researching having a 'Type A' Personality and people with this personality trait always have further to fall as our expectations have always been to high to begin with

I am getting there slowly CMF....and learning how to be more 'gentle' to myself. One day at a time.

Thankyou for the great topic!

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

I thought I would share an analogy. My goal is to sail to Tasmania on a yacht. I decide to sail the Sydney to Hobart Yacht race. Of course this would be fine if i was experienced & prepared for it but I'm not so part way across a storm hits & I capsize. I get rescued & return home feeling like a failure thinking I'm never going to try that again.

Too often our goal setting is like that. We set a good goal but then decide on a rigid plan to achieve it which fails so we give up & feel bad about ourselves.

Look at a different plan to reach the goal. This time I set off with a more flexible time frame. Perhaps I set of in the right direction to see how I go. This time when a storm hits I return to port & repair the yacht. Maybe I ask for some advice so next time I'm better able to weather the storm. Next time I head out I'm blown off course but I have a compass so I take time to review how I'm going so I adjust the sails & get back on track. Maybe I stop for a rest on some islands on the way. It takes a long time but I enjoy the process as I'm learning & improving along the way.

Maybe our goal setting should be like the second scenario We have a long term plan to improve our health or to get our finances under control or whatever but then we makes some plans to head in the right direction but accept things might go wrong & we may need to get help or adjust our course. In this case we don't fail we just learn that we need to do thins a different way.

[quirkywords]

CMF

What a great topic. You have great ideas.

You know that song 'bad habits" well I have so many I would not where to start.

I know I should just pick one. What do I pick. If I pick one and then dont like it can I pick another one?

Is indecision a bad habit? I will get back to you.

I know you said change habits and I interpreted that as having bad habits.

Is misreading topics a habit I should change?

Quirky

[CMF]

Tony, good point '...the human body can survive on very little food ...'. If overeating is a habit then yes, why not use a smaller plate? It's not hard to do and worth a try.

Paul, 'I am getting there slowly CMF....and learning how to be more 'gentle' to myself'. Perhaps get into a habit of setting smaller goals. Set a goal, then reduce it or give more time so it is more achievable, just as Elizabeth suggested - 'In this case we don't fail we just learn that we need to do thins a different way.' I love this, adjusting the sails to suit the wind.

Quirky, isn't it interesting how we always perceive habits as 'bad'? I brush my teeth every morning and night. It's a habit, a good habit. Why not make a list of your 'bad habits' and then reorganise in order of importance? You decide which ones you would like to change and work on them one by one? Some habits may not really affect our quality of life ie I sometimes leave dirty dishes in the sink. It doesn't look nice but it doesn't really affect my life, neither does not making the bed. Buying things i don't need affects me, so does snacking on junk food or staying up too late at night. Changing these will improve my life.

cmf x

[Guest_1584]

l'm afraid l'm in the wouldn't know where to start corner too. l've got enough for everyne haha.

As for the money side of things ahhh, yeppaaa. Been working on it awhile now. l can blow 1000's and have nothing for it. It just goes, slips straight through these mits of mine like water.

tried the cash only thing trouble was a weeks money went by lunchtime first day , somehow, Might get two days if l really try.

l actually find the card helps me a bit , l think , though yeah it's disappearing but you don't realize too a lot of the time.Had plenty fo horror shocks checking the old balance . Although l can blame some on dyslexia but no way all , RX is the main problem haha.

l dunno , maybe l should cut back on swearing , but eh ,l enjoy swearing, it shows of my intelligence , right !

Spose l should cut back on wine too but hey l enjoy wine.

What else can l fix.l'll have to have a athink haha.

[Elizabeth CP]

We develop habits to save energy for our brain. If we had to think about everything we do we'd get nowhere. Habits allow us to do everyday tasks automatically. The problem occurs when we realise something no longer works for us so we want to develop a new, more useful habit. It takes effort to change habits because we have to really think about what we are doing until it becomes automatic. There is no point trying to change a habit unless we really believe it is worthwhile as we won't have the motivation. Once we decide we want to develop a better habit we need to plan what will work for us & think of what the difficulties will be so you can plan for these. For example if trying to save money only taking out a small amount of money & leaving the card at home may decrease risk of giving in to temptation when shopping. The other thing is to accept that slip ups happen. When we slip up rather than giving up we need to review what happened & then decide how to avoid it happening again. Slip ups are a chance to learn not a sign of failure.

[Artemisia]

Lots of food for thought here. I have developed some very poor habits over the past year. I don't really know where to start. I am really afraid of failing if I set goals for myself. Which is crazy because I accomplished some pretty big goals in 2017.

[blondguy]

Hi CMF

Thankyou for posting back with your advice. I have been working on dumping my 'A' type personality for many years and like you mentioned setting smaller goals too for a very long time now. Its slowly working

I just thought I would initially post about the disadvantages of having an 'A' type personality and how difficult it is to change our core thinking. That said the advantages and effort to 'improve' myself outweigh the super 'high achiever' mentality that I have been brought up with.

Hey RX.....All the best for 2018 🙂

Thanks again CMF for the great thread

Paul