Busy mind

[Nefro]

Hi there,I went to my doctor yesterday and got told that I am going through menopause,my blood pressure is really high so I am blood pressure medication and they want to do a mental health assessment during the week to check whether I am depressed due to some underlying issues.as in my previous discussions I did mention my mind was always busy and I am anxious and panic about things that are yet to come..the doctors delivery of the news to me on the weekend was so gloomy,like,it was really,really bad.arent doctors supposed to make you feel better.of course they give you bas news but they should also make you feel like,yes,this is bad but we will help you fix it.it may not happen over night but we will get there eventually??thank goodness he is not my family doctor.any advise on what I should do?

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Nefro

I thought I would just share that I hit major perimenopausal symptoms last October and my hormones went off a cliff so to speak. I found that I developed a particular strange sort of anxiety and depression which I suspected after a few weeks was hormonal, got tested and found my oestrogen was low. This can leave you feeling quite bad. So it could be that some of what you’re experiencing is similar. If already experiencing some anxiety and/or depression these hormonal changes can amplify it. I can’t know whether this is what’s happening for you, but just thought I’d mention it because it may be making you feel worse right now.

 I know some doctors do not always have the best manner and sometimes leave us feeling more worried than reassured. It’s important not to let that get you down but I know it doesn’t help things and I’ve certainly left doctor appointments feeling worse at times.

If feelings of depression are linked to hormones there are various approaches that can help. In my case I’ve been taking a supplement (which can’t mention the name of as per BB guidelines) that I feel has helped. I’ve also found that after a few rough months it’s like my body is adjusting a bit to new hormone levels, so hopefully this might happen for you.

 I would say just go forwards taking the best care of yourself as you can. Eat healthy food you like, see if you can get some daily exercise (maybe a walk at a place you enjoy) and see if you can develop good sleep patterns (which can get disrupted during menopause).

If you’re not feeling comfortable with the current doctor with regard to the mental health assessment, you could try discussing what you’re experiencing with a different doctor. They may be just trying to make an accurate assessment of what’s happening for you. It can just feel clinical sometimes unfortunately the way they go about it.

 I’m not sure if you’re seeing a psychologist at present, but it may be an opportunity to get to see one under a mental health care plan if that would be helpful right now. I’m currently doing that which helped me through the challenging hormonal upheaval. Feel free to let us know how you go.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Nefro

My memory doesn't remind me of what you wrote before.

I don't know how serious the blood pressure problem is for you, but it's true, mes can help get it down. A healthier diet is recommended for many things, as is regular exercise. & limitting alcohol & quitting smoking, which would also benefit your over-all health.

I'd suggest going to your regular doctor, asking for a longer consultation, & discuss the blood pressure, the menopause & the idea you may have depression.

With better advice, you can do a lot to help yourself, & thereby feel more in control of your own life & health.

You title this discussion "Busy mind", so perhaps look into finding ways to calm your mind. There are many things you can do to achieve that. Most are about being able to direct your thoughts to the here & now, to relax your body as well, often called 'mindfullness'.

Some of my busy thinking came down to understanding I can only control myself, the things I say & do, the decisions I make, within the limits of my strength & abilities. I can plan for how to do what I need to do the next day, week or month. That helps, the idea that I can figure out what & how to do something, so I won't be continually worrying about it. It can be hard to work out what to do, who to talk to, what questions to ask, & for me, even while feeling silly, asking my questions anyway.

It takes quite a lot of practiee to change how we think & to begin to feel more confident & able to cope.

Lots of people do this stuff, some with the help of counsellors, psychologists or psychiatrists, or perhaps they find a group, or talking to others as you are here on BB, helps too.

I'd suggest, taking a look into 'Caring for yourself & others' here on BB, for many more suggestions of things you can do for yourself. Doing things to care for yourself will make a positive difference in your life, & it won't take long.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

I’d just like to echo mmMeKitty with regard to blood pressure, and also feeling like you’re more in control of your situation. I had quite a few years of hypertension, not super high, but was eventually put on blood pressure meds last year. However, as I’ve been healing things from the past and finding ways to let go of tension in my body and mind, my blood pressure has righted itself and I’ve been able to come off the meds. So it may help to do some of those things mmMeKitty mentions as it’s along the lines of what I’ve done and it’s helped. The best way I can explain it for me is a deep letting go of all the things I was holding onto, worrying about, trying to solve etc. I found I could allow myself to feel safe, not under pressure from other’s’ expectations, allowed to take care of my own needs etc. Of course I still fall into old ways at times, but it’s amazing how much has improved as my mind-body has let go of stuff. If your blood pressure is very high you may need to stay on the meds, but just wanted to encourage you that it’s not a one way street and things can turn around.

[Nefro]

Good morning Eagle Ray,thank you so much for your advice.i know what you mean about menopause just hitting you,that is exactly what happened to me and that is exactly how I was feeling when I walked out of the doctor's office so yesterday I decided that I will go back to my family doctor to do my mental health assessment. At least that way I can really talk to him openly about things.i have spoken openly to my family and extended family about me going through menopause and having high blood pressure,been put on medication and getting a mental health check done as well,they were all very supportive and I felt really good about it last night.

[Nefro]

Good morning mmMekitty

1. My ready was at 161/103 for blood pressure,that freaked me when he said,you will never get it back to normal no matter what life style changes you make and um like,ok it can't all be that bad..I am pretty sure with the help of medication it will go down.so I started them on Satuday afternoon.today I go and get my first reading after work and see what it says. Your ideas on mindfulness have been very helpful to me and I have used that everyday ince you said it..thanks so much.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Nefro

Yes I think that’s great to do the mental health assessment with your regular doctor who you feel more comfortable with. And I have so much empathy regarding the sudden menopausal shift. Some women go through it with minor symptoms, and for others it really hits hard in that the body is suddenly coping with a dramatic alteration in hormone levels. There can be quite a drop in serotonin that occurs along with the oestrogen drop, which can feel awful in the beginning. And melatonin can fall a lot too. I went from sleeping through the night to only about 2-4 hours a night. But the good thing is my body is starting to adjust, so I really hope yours does too. I am getting more sleep now and feeling better. I’m so glad your family are supportive and you are feeling better.

 I thought I’d also mention, and you probably know already, but blood pressure often tests higher in the doctor’s office than it does if you measure it at home. If the doctor had a manner that leaves you feeling a bit stressed that can put it up too. I’ve got a blood pressure machine at home and it’s always less, often significantly, compared to in the doctor’s office. I wouldn’t believe the statement you will never get it back to normal. I’m sure it will come down with medication and with the other things recommended for reducing blood pressure. For me, stress reduction had a big impact and I could really feel my body was destressing and releasing at the time. Feeling supported by others, such as your family, can really help too.

[Nefro]

Good morning Eagle Ray

I agree with you.i have bee  going to the chemist and geeting my readings done everyday at 3pm snd my pressure has dropped sonce Saturday due to medication the lady at the chemist,her name is Ing,she is so lovely and friendly which helps me feel happy and relaxed before she takes my readings..i think I will invest in a machine for home.yes,I am doing the assessment on Friday so I will keep you posted and I know it's going to be a while tiI i feel I like my old self and  patience is what I need.yesterday was a great day,I had music(Kenny G) playing in my office while I did my emails and then cleaned.let see how today pans out but I am hoping it will be a good day too.you have a great day

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Nefro

I’m glad you have the nice person at the chemist doing the blood pressure checks. Nice people with a friendly, kind presence make such a difference in this world, don’t they. 

I’m glad you were able to feel good with the Kenny G music playing. It’s like creating a healing sanctuary for yourself. 

I’m gradually learning to balance out the not so good days with the knowledge that things are always transient and I will have good and happy feelings and days again. This menopausal time does throw some curve balls, but it seems it can also be a meaningful time to for self-care, growth and reflection.

 I hope you had a beneficial visit with the doctor today. Take care and best wishes.

[Nefro]

Good afternoon,I had a very happy visit with family GP and came out feeling really good.he basically explained everything to me a very happy and healthy way.i even asked about my mental health assessment and he said all we can do at this point is doing little things to easy your mind and anxiety.i need an extra two weeks to let your body get used the different hormone levels that is is going through and then if you are still feeling anxious and having panic attacks then we can look at some medication but for now just practice mindfulness and I told him that I am  on here and talking to yous and my family and he was like..yes keep doing that.he also told me to walk away from this appointment know that we have a reason as to why I am feeling off balance and anxious and etc.he says that thought alone settles one's mind and makes them feel calm and relaxed.i did feel that and had a great afternoon with my daughter and grandchildren..things are looking up😜