Be kind to yourself

[Lookingforpeace]

Hi everyone

I like to think I am kind to others, and judging by the posts on these forums I know you are all kind people too.

But often I forget to be kind to myself.

I didn't go to work today because I'm sick and feel guilty that I'm not at work. Feel bored. Feel lazy.

But you know what? Sometimes it's ok to sit in your robe all day. Sometimes it's ok to nap, wake up, then nap again! Sometimes it's ok to watch daytime TV.

 I hope you are all kind to yourselves today 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Lookingforpeace,

Thanks for your post!

I recently took a week off work for my mental health. I knew a day wasn't enough for me! Ha. Ha.

You are so right. We do need to look after ourselves and try to listen to our minds and bodies and just learn to chill out!

For me that means having a long soak in the bath and topping up the hot water frequently! Going backt o bed with a cup of tea and a good book. Snoozing when I feel like then reading a bit more before I have another snooze.

A midday movie is good too. I even watched some of "Days of our lives today" and cracked up laughing. I thought it was all so hilarious and I can't believe that show is still running!

One of my clients is nearly 90 years old and I assist her in the afternoons. Sometimes she is still in her dressing gown because she can't be bothered getting dressed and feels more comfortable. So yes! We all need to find ways to look after ourselves!

Cheers to you all from Lauren

[white knight]

Too right LFP,

Short story,  I was in the RAAf in 1974 and owned a flash Celica sports car. Left Adelaide enroute to Melbourne for a holiday. Cruised at 140 kph. Passed a car, an Austin a30 commonly called a "baby Austin" as if he was standing still. I refuelled and he passed me so 20 minutes later I passed him. This went on 3 times.

Approaching Melbourne I broke down and cooked my engine. The A30 stopped. An old man alighted and approached and we had a yarn. I mentioned how I'd passed him 3 times and in an immature way told him how fast I was going and how quick I was getting from A to B. He looked at me and asked me if I needed his help to "get to C"?  I backpedalled my attitude. He then said "even our minds need rest and care let along mechanical machines"

Our minds cannot keep going at warp speed. Service it with rest and it will keep going.

Tony WK

[alicat007]

HI EVERYONE
ALICAT007 I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately.Why is it its always easier to be kind to others but we struggle when we need to be kind to ourselves. maybe its because we might feel that we're being selfish when we do concentrate on taking care of ourselves or putting our needs first.. I guess in my case i was brought up that way. And i need to set new healthier boundaries. That its ok to make sure I'm ok give myself a break ... and treat myself to some me time.Sometimes we might feel we don't deserve it.. but we all do. I think its also connected with our selfworth..
So I've decided to do a few things that make me feel happy.. and back off from some things that drain my energy n go on Holiday mode.. only do what i feel up to doing.. relax watch movies.. make sure i eat properly n sleep whenever i need to.. Take time to do my nails which i hardly ever do.. Even go to the park with my helper.. 
I know I've still have a long way to go.. But it feels good to be on the right track. After struggling for so long.. Well this was my first attemp on here i hope its ok... take care everyone n Goodnight..
 
  

[Indra]

Hi all!

Wow, for me that is certainly a tall order! As a single parent with disabled children, the need to do something kind for yourself takes a backseat. I  forget about doing things for myself and if I do get a moment, I usually have no clue what to do anyway lol 

My great friend on BB pointed  out that I am self sacrificing -  a wonderful  description that I hadn't thought of.

So baby steps here - being kind to myself - listening to some great music, enjoying my massive coffee consumption and trying not be hard on myself. It's a start!!

[Lookingforpeace]

Thanks for your thoughts all 🙂

welcome to the forum Alicat. You're right, sometimes it's the simple things. Getting some fresh air and just appreciating it.

Indra, it certainly sounds like it would be tough for you to find the time (or energy!) to do something nice for yourself. But as a start I think we could benefit from cutting out the negative self-talk. Like Alicat said, it's often easier to be nice to others. 

What would you say to yourself if you were your friend? Surely you would never say things like "you're selfish, you're a bad person, you're lazy". And yet we find it so easy to say these horrible things to ourselves.

So my positive self talk for the day is: "You look nice today. You're a hard worker. You're a loving person."

hope you can all do the same!

[Kennaugh8]

Everything that everyone has said here is spot on! Too often, the one who is always caring for others is the one who actually needs that kindness the most. It is important to have a bit of "me time" and in your case, Indra, a possible solution may be to set aside a small amount of time (I understand you're very busy) each day, if only for 10 minutes just to relax and disconnect for a bit. It can be very difficult to look after someone else when you are unable to care for yourself first. 

I have recently started doing 15 minutes of meditation each day and found it to be a great help in detoxing and refreshing the mind. Has anyone else used meditation? Was it useful? 

Chris

[Indra]

Thank you for the suggestion Chris - now that school holidays have finished I can start to get a little me time back in - I want to get back in to going to the gym and read some of the novels that are calling to me!!

Cheers Indra

[V17]

Hi Peace,

I said "No" to people I love to be kind to myself.
I don't want to justify my reasons either for not wanting to go out. So I just said 'No". That was really hard to do. Good, though. Right now I am not ready to deal with people.

V.

[Doolhof]

Hi Judahlion

Or do you prefer V? It can be very empowering when we can so to people and stand up for what we need right at that moment.

I too feel that you don't have to justify your reason to everyone.

Sometimes an explanation may be required or at least accepted by the other person.

Hope you are doing okay. Sometimes we all need a break away from people. If you need help and support though, do let someone know.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools