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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Your comfort zone
  • replies: 3

Were you popular in school? Were you the one in the middle of the pack that all had eyes on? Nope didn't think so. If you were like me you were on the outer, a few steps back from the clan as we walked from school. This outer fringe existence could n... View more

Were you popular in school? Were you the one in the middle of the pack that all had eyes on? Nope didn't think so. If you were like me you were on the outer, a few steps back from the clan as we walked from school. This outer fringe existence could never be shrugged off. It seemed to send me into depression as I wanted so much to be the popular one or the approved one...anything but the ignored one. I look back on those school days 50 years or more ago and now, the popular guy has passed away. A few of his childhood disciples are either physically ill or a shadow of what I remember. Seems history has a way of equaling things. But what I've learned is that being on the fringe and due to mental illness is responsible for who I was and am. It is part of my DNA in a way. Stephen FRY quote- "If I died and I could come back, I would still want my bipolar as it is part of me" paraphrasing So it is far better for our well being to accept our illness than fight it, ignore it or let it take hold. That means it is part of our nature and if we get to that point we will treat it like the colour of our hair or the length of our fingers and not worry so much Google- Beyondblue topic the frog and the scorpion So how do we accept our illness as a part of ourselves? Well, if you feel safer and more at ease away from people in your own little world why not accept that? It is only a concern if, due to any action like that you become a danger to yourself or others. I think the world has enough suicides every day to now make way for people like you and I to gravitate towards where we are more comfortable, where we've been all our lives- on the fringe of society. This means that we should not endeavor to live up to society's expectations of who we should be and should not be. Damn them I say- the fighter develops over decades to defend our nature, the skin by which we are within. And what of these "normal people"? A chance they have an undiagnosed illness themselves but are unaware or in denial. Google- Beyondblue topic so what are their mental illnesses? We have a trolley collector at our local supermarket. He has a few issues like Aspergers and depression. He is intelligent with a previous history of retail work. Yet he chooses to collect his trolleys. " People leave me alone in this job, I like helping people with their shopping and nothing more is expected of me. People like me". For this man he has found his comfort zone. Have you found your comfort zone? TonyWK

AGrace Managing Borderline Personality Disorder
  • replies: 98

Hi, I was looking through some of the posts and couldnt find any related to Borderline Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed at the end of the year along with Anxiety and Depression. I was hoping to reach out to anyone in a similar situation to get s... View more

Hi, I was looking through some of the posts and couldnt find any related to Borderline Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed at the end of the year along with Anxiety and Depression. I was hoping to reach out to anyone in a similar situation to get some advice on how to deal with living with this condition. I left my employment last year so I could focus on my health which has been useful but now I feel anxious about ever being able to go back to work full time, having children, and doing day to day things whilst managing my illness. To add to this, not doing those things leaves me feeling a little useless. Does anyone have some advice, or personal experience with this? Thanks.

Rose_3 A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be
  • replies: 28

Warm greetings! First of all, I was in a very dark place and now I feel like I am standing in the sunshine again. But there is still a long way for me to go and so much more for me to do. For my recovery (and on going quality of life) I have been pra... View more

Warm greetings! First of all, I was in a very dark place and now I feel like I am standing in the sunshine again. But there is still a long way for me to go and so much more for me to do. For my recovery (and on going quality of life) I have been practising self-love, forgiveness and positivity. And it has helped me so much! I am discovering I have a lot of love in my heart but there are still a lot of dark clouds behind me. So I will be posting whatever I feel is right for me. And I made a promise to myself to be honest, unashamed and kind (to myself and others). My posts will vary and may sometimes seem strange. But our minds are so beautiful and complex and think in many forms and I intend to share all those forms with you. And I encourage others to share too. If you want to vent with me, vent with me. If you want to forgive with me, forgive with me. We can all learn from each other and the different ways we handle situations and think. And I offer unconditional support and love. So I will begin with blessing this site with love. I bless the other users with love I bless my internet connection with love for allowing me to reach these amazing forums I bless my phone with love for being able to post here And I bless mind with love for letting me feel and think and breathe in the first place. All the best, Rose (Now I am going to post this before I chicken out!)

Browngirl16 Afraid of the future.
  • replies: 2

Hi! Just a little about myself, i have general anxiety and depression and have been attending psychology sessions and will be starting medication soon. My current situation is regarding my niece and nephew who have been living in the same house as me... View more

Hi! Just a little about myself, i have general anxiety and depression and have been attending psychology sessions and will be starting medication soon. My current situation is regarding my niece and nephew who have been living in the same house as me since birth. They are currently the only two people who provide me with any happiness and are my reasons for living. I sleep next to my niece every night and if she is not there, i cannot sleep, that is how strong our bond is. But my sister and her husband have decided to move away to another country with my niece and nephew. I am terrified of what is going to happen when they leave. Will i lose the will to survive? Right now, i am only living for them. How do i take care of myself when my only reasons of happiness are no longer around? If anyone has any tips or similar experiences and can provide me with any help, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

white knight Guilt anothers glory
  • replies: 3

Every human born, regardless of any situation is entitled to feel deprived if certain minimal standards are not being met. I'm talking mental health. However lack of basic physical needs like shelter can impact on us mentally to. No, I'm talking abou... View more

Every human born, regardless of any situation is entitled to feel deprived if certain minimal standards are not being met. I'm talking mental health. However lack of basic physical needs like shelter can impact on us mentally to. No, I'm talking about influences placed upon us by others more often loved ones that extend their authority over and above their status to achieve a result that impacts upon us in a negative way- so they get the outcome they desire. GUILT is commonly a state of mind developed in a child from a family members dominance. Taken to the extreme such dominance plants the seeds of doubt in our minds that remain like a mental tattoo in adult years. Hard to shrug off it is unfair for any child to carry this around but, they are unaware what wrong doing has taken place. Often it's a parent that has planted that seed, to grow the "plant of power through ownership" Some victims of guilt never rebel. For those poor souls they endure the daily horror of being possessed by their mental jailer. Even after their jailer has passed on they continue to "do as that jailer would want them do. Many of us however do rebel. As we struggle with our captor to gain the freedom of that every human deserves, we risk alienation/rejection of the person that has influenced us the most. Like losing a limb we struggle with the very guilt our controller installed. Often that manipulator has gathered around them their greatest weapons- other loved ones. Sever your relationship with your jailer - lose your family is often the case. Post cutting ties doesnt rid you from guilt, it isnt tattoo removal, its tattoo cover up only. This is why treatment by professional medical people is so important and often successful -what is "successful"? When we can function in life to a level of some contentment and acceptance of our actions being aware we are the victim of a clever person that viewed our independence of mind as an enemy. For many controllers reading this they might think it is indeed wrong of such behaviour, such is their lack of awareness of their own actions. Ownership of another human especially their own child comes natural to them. Obeying them is endorsing their authority. Disobeying them means war for you should obey "I am your mother, how dare you treat me like that after all I've done for you...wait till I've told your father...he will be disgusted" Seek treatment for guilt to help find independence of your own thoughts. Every human deserves that. TonyWK

Cath22 Exercise motivation for my partner
  • replies: 1

My husband has depression and anxiety and he is taking medication but I know he benefits from physical exercise. However, he is very lethargic at the moment and reluctant to do any exercise. How can I encourage him to go to the gym or just be active ... View more

My husband has depression and anxiety and he is taking medication but I know he benefits from physical exercise. However, he is very lethargic at the moment and reluctant to do any exercise. How can I encourage him to go to the gym or just be active with our toddler? Thanks in advance for your suggestions

MinimalWildflower Stop eating out and get back to cooking? Help!
  • replies: 2

A little backstory: I have been diagnosed with extreme depression, general and social anxiety, bipolar type 2, OCD and PTSD. For awhile now I've not been eating great. I moved in with my boyfriend in the city and suddenly all of these delivery places... View more

A little backstory: I have been diagnosed with extreme depression, general and social anxiety, bipolar type 2, OCD and PTSD. For awhile now I've not been eating great. I moved in with my boyfriend in the city and suddenly all of these delivery places were within an arms reach of me (with the help of uber eats, deliveroo...I can't drive) and if I had a bad day or couldn't be motivated to cook I'd just order in. Not long after I had gotten myself 2,000$ in debt because I just couldn't stop buying takeout. I had some trouble with my boyfriend being mentally abusive, negative and I quickly moved out and so I am now away from the service area of Uber Eats and Deliveroo. But now I'm left with a dilemma. What do I eat? I find the whole process of cooking daunting. Before I moved out I was cooking semi-regularly, bulk cooking when I did so I had to cook less. The problem is even when I was doing that I'd find myself uninterested in what I'd cooked and I'd find myself not eating until really late at night when the hunger couldn't be ignored any more. I hate meal planning. I can spend a four hours or five hours surfing the internet for recipes that don't look too hard (I'm not good at cooking at the best of times) and that looked good and that used the least ingredients (I have a 100$ a week budget and 24$ of that goes to cat food, cat litter and delivery of my groceries)...I have enough money to cover only one meal a day with bulk cooking. When it came time to cook it I'd turn my nose up at whatever I'd picked and I'd end up either cooking it and not eating it or not cooking it and convincing my mum to drive me to the local McDonald's, getting myself further into debt or spending any savings that I have. I am desperate for help. I want to eat healthier. I want to cook. I want to plan better. There is nobody in my life who could offer to cook for me. My mum has her own mental health issues, so she usually eats frozen foods (and I can't bring myself to do that, processed food makes me feel physically unwell and has no fiber) and I don't have any friends that live less than 40 minutes away. Please help, I'm losing hope and I don't know what to do.

Summer Rose Merry and Bright or Bah Humbug, how do you feel about the holidays?
  • replies: 85

As the old saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year, and judging by my trip to the mall today it has well and truly arrived. Crowds of shoppers, bustling about, looking for the perfect gift. Not all of us here on the forum celebrate Christmas but... View more

As the old saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year, and judging by my trip to the mall today it has well and truly arrived. Crowds of shoppers, bustling about, looking for the perfect gift. Not all of us here on the forum celebrate Christmas but I doubt than any of us can ignore it. The advertisers tell us this is the best time of the year. A chance to enjoy the good things in life, spend time with the family and generally eat, drink and be merry. But this simply isn't the case for everyone. The holiday and its associated activities (e.g. shopping, cooking, travelling, etc) triggers stress, sadness and depression for a lot of people. I'm one of them. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, kids and Australian family and friends and I will no doubt enjoy the holidays. But for me, Christmas is always tinged with a hefty dose of sadness, which I carry inside and try to hide. This is because my mum, my sister and her family and all of my extended family live overseas. I've lived in Australia for some 30 years and you'd think I'd be used to this by now but I'm not. So, I'm wondering how Christmas affects you? Are you looking forward to the holiday, feeling stressed or feeling left out because it's not something you participate in? What are your strategies for protecting your mental health this festive season?

Clea Dealing with anger
  • replies: 4

I wasn't sure where to post this question so added it here. Along with depression and anxiety I suffer at times with feeling angry. My anger in itself can feel overwhelming. Usually it comes about when I feel wronged. I'm wondering if this common amo... View more

I wasn't sure where to post this question so added it here. Along with depression and anxiety I suffer at times with feeling angry. My anger in itself can feel overwhelming. Usually it comes about when I feel wronged. I'm wondering if this common amongst others who experience depression and/or anxiety? Also I would love any tips / advice for managing or letting go of anger Thanks C

Rabbit33 Our own positive ways to encourage healthy thinking, self-esteem, confidence and lower our anxiety
  • replies: 5

I went through an extremely rough year this year and found myself in a very dark place. Due to my circumstances, I'd shut off from almost everyone i knew and became almost trapped in my room. My mental health was at an all time low and my depression ... View more

I went through an extremely rough year this year and found myself in a very dark place. Due to my circumstances, I'd shut off from almost everyone i knew and became almost trapped in my room. My mental health was at an all time low and my depression and anxiety was in a very scary state. I've since got myself into a very healthy place, where i am much more clear headed, focused, confident and motivated. I have set out goals and have plenty of encouragement. Besides the medication i'm taking to help deal with my diagnosed depression and anxiety and my visits to my psychologist. I found that making changes to my life-style, adding little things into my daily routine and promoting my life with positive activities really made a huge difference for me and my recovery journey. I think these adaptions are something that even while in a positive state of mind, also assist me in remaining in a 'happier' state. I thought we could share our own ways of 'healthy thinking' & 'self-esteem boosting' things that we do when feeling low. Hoping our own experiences could offer some encouraging support or idea's to suffers of mental health. So, when you're feeling lower than low or your anxiety is really holding you back. What helps you? What lifts your mood? What gives you strength? What encourages your healthy thinking and lifestyle choices? What helps with your self-esteem? I'll start by writing down 8 of mine and encourage others to add; 1) I bought a bunch of self-development books which have been a huge help and a great eye opener. 2) I go through the self-help books and read out 10 - 20 quotes a day and then pick my favourite one and write it down on a white board which is attached to my fridge. This helps keep me motivated and encourages my positive thinking. 3) I invest some of my free-time supporting others and when i can, engaging & support/promoting mental health awareness. 4) I write down lists each day of what i need to get done. This gives me a sense of accomplishment and helps me prioritise tasks, which helps with my anxiety. 5) I use little emoticons in all of my text messages to send off positive vibes to others. 6) I remind myself that I am important and try not to undervalue myself. I deserve to have the best possible life. (As do we all) 7) I try forcing myself to spend time with loved ones. I write down what's troubling me and causing my anxiety so it's fresh in my mind when i see my psychologist next.