We have many members here that are not happy with themselves, their
personality nor their character. Low self esteem is the result, trying
hard to be like everyone else around them and accepted as an equal. This
leads to desperately wanting change wi...
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We have many members here that are not happy with themselves, their
personality nor their character. Low self esteem is the result, trying
hard to be like everyone else around them and accepted as an equal. This
leads to desperately wanting change within, such change impossible to
fulfill. How do you re-invent yourself? Imagine your car is over
heating. You realise you only have water in your radiator so you replace
it with proper coolant. It no longer overheats however you haven't
changed the car in any other way, it just performs more reliably. Such a
subtle change has huge results but the character of the vehicle is the
same. If we all changed our character fully then we'd all be sheep, look
the same, bah bah the same etc. We should always embrace our uniqueness.
Subtle change is achievable but often needs professional guidance by
those that can see things more clearer and are trained to help you find
the best out of who you are. Like many changes, professional help is one
avenue recommended but self help is always a good journey to pursue.
Read- the internet has a vast amount of information you can source about
human behavior Listen- to friends and family about what behavior is
unacceptable or too weird for most people's tolerance Act- put theory
into action, theory itself isn't enough. Ask- this is tricky. Making
behavioural/reactionary changes then asking others brings along the
spotlight. Better to wait for others to give positive comment and just
feel good about the response. Continuation- the introduction of subtle
changes doesn't have to stop. Over time it can become routine and that
makes it a simple task eg "I'm going to stop talking about myself so
much and begin asking others about their lives". No longer can others
claim you are self centred. Achievability- Sometimes the temptation
arrives because we admire a quality in another person. A friend might be
capable of being popular and talkative. Find you own niche, you might be
more at ease with one or two close friends than having 10 acquaintances
that really aren't friends! The grass is greener- When we observe others
we admire- it doesn't always mean their situation is ideal. Some people
just like us seem happier, no problems etc. Your happiness depends on
your ability to enjoy your grass on your own property, even believing
its greener than over the fence. Happiness can be an illusion in others.
Subtle changes are good, it leads to you becoming a better version of
yourself. TonyWK