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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Browngirl16 Afraid of the future.
  • replies: 2

Hi! Just a little about myself, i have general anxiety and depression and have been attending psychology sessions and will be starting medication soon. My current situation is regarding my niece and nephew who have been living in the same house as me... View more

Hi! Just a little about myself, i have general anxiety and depression and have been attending psychology sessions and will be starting medication soon. My current situation is regarding my niece and nephew who have been living in the same house as me since birth. They are currently the only two people who provide me with any happiness and are my reasons for living. I sleep next to my niece every night and if she is not there, i cannot sleep, that is how strong our bond is. But my sister and her husband have decided to move away to another country with my niece and nephew. I am terrified of what is going to happen when they leave. Will i lose the will to survive? Right now, i am only living for them. How do i take care of myself when my only reasons of happiness are no longer around? If anyone has any tips or similar experiences and can provide me with any help, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

white knight Guilt anothers glory
  • replies: 3

Every human born, regardless of any situation is entitled to feel deprived if certain minimal standards are not being met. I'm talking mental health. However lack of basic physical needs like shelter can impact on us mentally to. No, I'm talking abou... View more

Every human born, regardless of any situation is entitled to feel deprived if certain minimal standards are not being met. I'm talking mental health. However lack of basic physical needs like shelter can impact on us mentally to. No, I'm talking about influences placed upon us by others more often loved ones that extend their authority over and above their status to achieve a result that impacts upon us in a negative way- so they get the outcome they desire. GUILT is commonly a state of mind developed in a child from a family members dominance. Taken to the extreme such dominance plants the seeds of doubt in our minds that remain like a mental tattoo in adult years. Hard to shrug off it is unfair for any child to carry this around but, they are unaware what wrong doing has taken place. Often it's a parent that has planted that seed, to grow the "plant of power through ownership" Some victims of guilt never rebel. For those poor souls they endure the daily horror of being possessed by their mental jailer. Even after their jailer has passed on they continue to "do as that jailer would want them do. Many of us however do rebel. As we struggle with our captor to gain the freedom of that every human deserves, we risk alienation/rejection of the person that has influenced us the most. Like losing a limb we struggle with the very guilt our controller installed. Often that manipulator has gathered around them their greatest weapons- other loved ones. Sever your relationship with your jailer - lose your family is often the case. Post cutting ties doesnt rid you from guilt, it isnt tattoo removal, its tattoo cover up only. This is why treatment by professional medical people is so important and often successful -what is "successful"? When we can function in life to a level of some contentment and acceptance of our actions being aware we are the victim of a clever person that viewed our independence of mind as an enemy. For many controllers reading this they might think it is indeed wrong of such behaviour, such is their lack of awareness of their own actions. Ownership of another human especially their own child comes natural to them. Obeying them is endorsing their authority. Disobeying them means war for you should obey "I am your mother, how dare you treat me like that after all I've done for you...wait till I've told your father...he will be disgusted" Seek treatment for guilt to help find independence of your own thoughts. Every human deserves that. TonyWK

Cath22 Exercise motivation for my partner
  • replies: 1

My husband has depression and anxiety and he is taking medication but I know he benefits from physical exercise. However, he is very lethargic at the moment and reluctant to do any exercise. How can I encourage him to go to the gym or just be active ... View more

My husband has depression and anxiety and he is taking medication but I know he benefits from physical exercise. However, he is very lethargic at the moment and reluctant to do any exercise. How can I encourage him to go to the gym or just be active with our toddler? Thanks in advance for your suggestions

MinimalWildflower Stop eating out and get back to cooking? Help!
  • replies: 2

A little backstory: I have been diagnosed with extreme depression, general and social anxiety, bipolar type 2, OCD and PTSD. For awhile now I've not been eating great. I moved in with my boyfriend in the city and suddenly all of these delivery places... View more

A little backstory: I have been diagnosed with extreme depression, general and social anxiety, bipolar type 2, OCD and PTSD. For awhile now I've not been eating great. I moved in with my boyfriend in the city and suddenly all of these delivery places were within an arms reach of me (with the help of uber eats, deliveroo...I can't drive) and if I had a bad day or couldn't be motivated to cook I'd just order in. Not long after I had gotten myself 2,000$ in debt because I just couldn't stop buying takeout. I had some trouble with my boyfriend being mentally abusive, negative and I quickly moved out and so I am now away from the service area of Uber Eats and Deliveroo. But now I'm left with a dilemma. What do I eat? I find the whole process of cooking daunting. Before I moved out I was cooking semi-regularly, bulk cooking when I did so I had to cook less. The problem is even when I was doing that I'd find myself uninterested in what I'd cooked and I'd find myself not eating until really late at night when the hunger couldn't be ignored any more. I hate meal planning. I can spend a four hours or five hours surfing the internet for recipes that don't look too hard (I'm not good at cooking at the best of times) and that looked good and that used the least ingredients (I have a 100$ a week budget and 24$ of that goes to cat food, cat litter and delivery of my groceries)...I have enough money to cover only one meal a day with bulk cooking. When it came time to cook it I'd turn my nose up at whatever I'd picked and I'd end up either cooking it and not eating it or not cooking it and convincing my mum to drive me to the local McDonald's, getting myself further into debt or spending any savings that I have. I am desperate for help. I want to eat healthier. I want to cook. I want to plan better. There is nobody in my life who could offer to cook for me. My mum has her own mental health issues, so she usually eats frozen foods (and I can't bring myself to do that, processed food makes me feel physically unwell and has no fiber) and I don't have any friends that live less than 40 minutes away. Please help, I'm losing hope and I don't know what to do.

Summer Rose Merry and Bright or Bah Humbug, how do you feel about the holidays?
  • replies: 85

As the old saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year, and judging by my trip to the mall today it has well and truly arrived. Crowds of shoppers, bustling about, looking for the perfect gift. Not all of us here on the forum celebrate Christmas but... View more

As the old saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year, and judging by my trip to the mall today it has well and truly arrived. Crowds of shoppers, bustling about, looking for the perfect gift. Not all of us here on the forum celebrate Christmas but I doubt than any of us can ignore it. The advertisers tell us this is the best time of the year. A chance to enjoy the good things in life, spend time with the family and generally eat, drink and be merry. But this simply isn't the case for everyone. The holiday and its associated activities (e.g. shopping, cooking, travelling, etc) triggers stress, sadness and depression for a lot of people. I'm one of them. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, kids and Australian family and friends and I will no doubt enjoy the holidays. But for me, Christmas is always tinged with a hefty dose of sadness, which I carry inside and try to hide. This is because my mum, my sister and her family and all of my extended family live overseas. I've lived in Australia for some 30 years and you'd think I'd be used to this by now but I'm not. So, I'm wondering how Christmas affects you? Are you looking forward to the holiday, feeling stressed or feeling left out because it's not something you participate in? What are your strategies for protecting your mental health this festive season?

Clea Dealing with anger
  • replies: 4

I wasn't sure where to post this question so added it here. Along with depression and anxiety I suffer at times with feeling angry. My anger in itself can feel overwhelming. Usually it comes about when I feel wronged. I'm wondering if this common amo... View more

I wasn't sure where to post this question so added it here. Along with depression and anxiety I suffer at times with feeling angry. My anger in itself can feel overwhelming. Usually it comes about when I feel wronged. I'm wondering if this common amongst others who experience depression and/or anxiety? Also I would love any tips / advice for managing or letting go of anger Thanks C

Rabbit33 Our own positive ways to encourage healthy thinking, self-esteem, confidence and lower our anxiety
  • replies: 5

I went through an extremely rough year this year and found myself in a very dark place. Due to my circumstances, I'd shut off from almost everyone i knew and became almost trapped in my room. My mental health was at an all time low and my depression ... View more

I went through an extremely rough year this year and found myself in a very dark place. Due to my circumstances, I'd shut off from almost everyone i knew and became almost trapped in my room. My mental health was at an all time low and my depression and anxiety was in a very scary state. I've since got myself into a very healthy place, where i am much more clear headed, focused, confident and motivated. I have set out goals and have plenty of encouragement. Besides the medication i'm taking to help deal with my diagnosed depression and anxiety and my visits to my psychologist. I found that making changes to my life-style, adding little things into my daily routine and promoting my life with positive activities really made a huge difference for me and my recovery journey. I think these adaptions are something that even while in a positive state of mind, also assist me in remaining in a 'happier' state. I thought we could share our own ways of 'healthy thinking' & 'self-esteem boosting' things that we do when feeling low. Hoping our own experiences could offer some encouraging support or idea's to suffers of mental health. So, when you're feeling lower than low or your anxiety is really holding you back. What helps you? What lifts your mood? What gives you strength? What encourages your healthy thinking and lifestyle choices? What helps with your self-esteem? I'll start by writing down 8 of mine and encourage others to add; 1) I bought a bunch of self-development books which have been a huge help and a great eye opener. 2) I go through the self-help books and read out 10 - 20 quotes a day and then pick my favourite one and write it down on a white board which is attached to my fridge. This helps keep me motivated and encourages my positive thinking. 3) I invest some of my free-time supporting others and when i can, engaging & support/promoting mental health awareness. 4) I write down lists each day of what i need to get done. This gives me a sense of accomplishment and helps me prioritise tasks, which helps with my anxiety. 5) I use little emoticons in all of my text messages to send off positive vibes to others. 6) I remind myself that I am important and try not to undervalue myself. I deserve to have the best possible life. (As do we all) 7) I try forcing myself to spend time with loved ones. I write down what's troubling me and causing my anxiety so it's fresh in my mind when i see my psychologist next.

ThatEmoNonbinary Dealing with Depersonalisation
  • replies: 2

Hello you lovelies! I have issues with depersonalisation, which developed after a few years of having constant panic attacks. While it helped my anxiety, it seems to make my depression a lot worse... So I was wondering if any one you out there have a... View more

Hello you lovelies! I have issues with depersonalisation, which developed after a few years of having constant panic attacks. While it helped my anxiety, it seems to make my depression a lot worse... So I was wondering if any one you out there have any tips in getting out of that distant mindset or tips on helping it! Because currently most of my core coping mecanisms are, to put it lightly, unhealthy and i want to get better and stay better! For me when I get it, I feel very floaty, like my limbs are going to float away but im still here, everything I think about feels unreal. Like im in a dream, not a lucid one, just a regular dream and I'm watching through a characters eyes. I feel like any decisions I make won't actually effect me, even though at the same time i distantly know it will. Do any of you awesome humans ever get this tooo? I know its normal and quite common for those with mental struggles, but everyone gets it differently. So how does dissasosiation feel to you if you want to share? Aaaanyway i have some tips for you all who have it as well: Engage in a contestation with someone. It feels awful to me but i force myself into it. DONT TALK WITH SOMEONE ABOUT SOMETHING BORING, for me it makes it worse. Call up someone or find someone who has the same passions as you and discuss them! Have someone sit on you. Sounds silly but my limbs get very light feeling when i have this and pressure helps. Random times at the shops or somewhere in public ive had my sister sit on my lap to ground me. I also have my dog sit in my lap most of the time. Get school work/work done. This isnt so much of a coping way but more so that i find it easier to do boring chores or work done when im like this, so try it out as well if youre comfterble and get stuff done. Get off electronics. For me its like going further down the rabbit hole. it makes my disassociation feel endless and that often leads to dark thoughts. Hope these helped or someone can also give me other healthy tips!

ChunkyTom Some practical help
  • replies: 1

Hi team, just wanted to put together a little bit of light reading and tips to help some people deal with the "Black Dog". Not too long ago I was in a really dark place that I thought I would never get through. I lost who I would consider the love of... View more

Hi team, just wanted to put together a little bit of light reading and tips to help some people deal with the "Black Dog". Not too long ago I was in a really dark place that I thought I would never get through. I lost who I would consider the love of my life, my step daughter, my passion and my will to live. Today I'm better, stronger and reaching out that olive branch to anyone that needs that help getting through this. Here is a little list of the top things that helped me through my journey: 1. The subtle art of not giving a •••• (book). This book changed my mentality completely. I will never write a book on battling life's hardships because this book in my opinion is flawless. A practical way of understanding that sometimes life is difficult and we should take responsibility and take accountability, because in the end of the day we are responsible for what happens in our own live. The book is extremely hard and confronting but thats the beauty of it all. 2. Medication. One of my biggest hurtles when battling with my own mental health was accepting that medication might be something I need. For some reason I had convinced myself that medication would 'change me' and I would become some kind of vegetable. Obviously it didn't, it took the edge of my mental chatter and allowed me to view my situation from the outside looking in. I was only on it short term (2 months) but I am grateful for making the choice to take it. 3. Inspiration. Our situations are not unique. Everyone has demons and battles in their lives. I found the stories of Tyson Fury and David Goggins to be unbelievably powerful fuel for getting it done. These two gentlemen speak to me because of their vulnerability, accountability and "alpha male" status. Worth googling these two. 4. Adventure. The happiest points in my life have been when I've gone on a little bit of an adventure overseas. Throwing yourself into another culture, meeting new people and trying new things makes your heart happy. Currently I'm in Indonesia ticking off a bucket list item of becoming a scuba diver. You don't have to go for but just get outside and explore. I hope some of these items help. I promise it gets better.

Geoff_F Speaking out
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I have been doing a lot of thinking recently, and one thing I have come to realise is that I am trapped by my own mental state. For years I have pretended that I am okay and well to keep up the image to my friends and family. For my fami... View more

Hi everyone, I have been doing a lot of thinking recently, and one thing I have come to realise is that I am trapped by my own mental state. For years I have pretended that I am okay and well to keep up the image to my friends and family. For my family, I have always been the strong individual who people come to for answers and help with their own lives. It's taken a long time, but I am starting to put myself into a position where I need to start acknowledging what is wrong and start taking the steps towards getting better. But how do I do this. I know my mental state and health should not be a weakness, and i should not feel ashamed for it, but at the same time, the image that others have of my as being the strong, resilient individual I feel will be broken if I try to break down the image I have built up. How do you prevent others from self blaming due to the circumstances that their actions may have inadvertently put me through. I want to stop being trapped by the lies that I live by every day, but I do not know how to do that without my entire identify changing. I think I am just looking for someone to talk to. Thank you