After recovery - decision making

Chickadee · ‎14-09-2013

Has anyone found that their ability to make decisions remains poor even after "recovery". I can make the small ones fine, like what to buy for dinner. But I am completely stuck at making any long term decision, especially if it will affect others or I can't predict the outcome. I freeze in fear of getting it wrong. For example, I've been trying to choose a paint colour for about a year, and planning a holiday to anywhere I haven't been before is impossible as I simply can't sort through all the options and simple decisions like where to stay.

I don't remember being like this prior to depression, so am curious if it is an after affect of depression, or just me getting older!

As background, I've had one episode of major depression four or five years ago for which I was treated (anti depressants, therapy) and I'd consider myself recovered. I had a previous episode nine years ago, post natal, that was untreated.

Thanks.

geoff · ‎14-09-2013

dear Chickadee, well making long term decisions requires a great deal of thought and this is also happening to me, as I always said that I would go overseas for holiday, but having OCD this requires a bit of apprehension, because it's waters that I haven't tread for a long time.

As I will be travelling by myself, I am always reminded by people of how careful I have to be, especially doing it alone.

Where will I go, to Europe, Thailand, been to Fiji as well as Bali, how long for, as I'm not really a traveller, but thought it would be good, but then my OCD begins to take over and worry, do I want to really go, as I prefer staying at home, so basically the whole idea seems to be stupid, but I always said that when my Tessie (puppie) passed away I would travel, and now it's a big question mark. Geoff.

vip · ‎14-09-2013

Hi Chickadee im not sure about this decision thing. But i know when i had depression yes just like you could not even make the simple decision in the supermarket. Now well i make a decision and i question it over and over if it was the right one. I think even people who dont have depression must go through this also. I know that one side effect that i do have is memory loss i have to write everything down and was a lot sharper than this before the depression. Take care

Georgie08 · ‎14-09-2013

Chickadee, I don't suffer from depression but my partner does (I've just done a long post about it) and what you're describing sounds very familiar. He has expressed having a fear of getting it wrong to me several times and it has affected our ability to make plans. While he holds a senior position in his work where he's required to and does make important decisions every day, in his personal life he can struggle to make all sorts of decisions to the point where it can take 45 minutes for us to leave for the beach as he can't decide which surfboard to take!

I'm not sure whether there is a direct link to his depression but I have noticed that outside of his work he seems to struggle with having the confidence to trust his own judgment, which does suggest some sort of connection.

Best of luck with getting things moving again 🙂

Yoli · ‎14-09-2013

HI Chickadee

I dont have an answer for you because I have not recovered - but I am interested to know what does 'recovery' mean. I too had an episode of major depression. Does recovery mean that you can go back to your life as before? Or do you need to change your life to ensure that you remain recovered.

Thanks and apology for the silly question....

Yoli

Chickadee · ‎15-09-2013

Thank you everyone, for your thoughts. Nes, my short term memory is not as good as it used to be either. Better than when I was depressed, but not good compared to before depression.

Yolli, I use the term recovery to mean that it's been several years since I finished meds and seeing a psych, and I feel that I am ok again. I still have dark days, but i mostly cope with those using tools my psych taught me. I still remain hyper vigilant about myself and my thoughts though, for any signs that I'm spiralling back into depression. Maybe remission would be a better term than recovery.