Anti-bullying! Pro-resilience!

[Walter]

Hello.

This is my first posting.

I'm writing this as someone who has been impacted by the suicide of a 29 year old daughter. A beautiful child and young woman who suffered from chronic depression for many years. In fact, she was under the care of a mental health clinic at the time of her death. I believe the primary cause of her depression was the relentless disdain and bullying of her peers during school years. I'm no stranger to emotional and physical trauma. Lost my mother to a drunken hit and run driver when I was 13.  Family broken up. Sporting career ended by motor bike smash at 18. Great for many years but was then diagnosed with Parkinson's at age 60 and lost my daughter at 64. Our family was rocked by the suicide of wife, sister and daughter and has left me with a deep resolve to endeavour to use what I have learned to try to help others combat the negative impacts experienced in life with positive, resilience building resolve. My personal contribution, with help from a friend who also lives with Parkinson's, has been to use the power of song to give light, lift spirit and offer hope. So, with the humble and honourable intention of someone who will enjoy his 70th birthday tomorrow, and with moderator's OK, I invite you share my take on life by visiting www.preciousdiamond.net (see Emily) and www.eachlivingmoment.net.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Walter,

Welcome to Beyond blue.   You've experienced a lot of loss so I'm sorry this response has taken 5 days.     Doesn't Parkinsons' affect your typing co-ordination ?  Maybe when we get older a little wisdom creeps in to help with mental stability.

Makes me wonder how many have similar losses - a drunken driver killing someone close to you.   All unprepared and abrupt.  I had some surgical negligence that impacted heavily on escalating mood swings and cost me my profession (tpt playing) at the time.   Loss of job would be nothing compared to the loss of a wife, sister and daughter through suicide.  Guess there was nothing you could do but it's hard not to blame yourself (as the husband/brother/father).   Would be unbearable to cope with I imagine.    I don't have the resilience you seem to now possess.

Maybe if we all had "humble and honourable intention(s)" for life we would not stress so much.    What seems a simple comment could be pressure for someone else.    What passes as being OK for some could be trauma and hardship for others.    I guess surprises can be both good and bad.  It's all relative.

I'll check out your links - the "www.eachlivingmoment.net" sounds very upbeat.

Adios, David.

PS  Normally a moderator on the site picks up a thread that had been past by for a couple of days - must be a busy time with lots of responses at present.  Sorry.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Walter,

I checked out your "www.eachlivingmoment.net" site - very interesting.   The idea of a virtual choir is a bit out there but we do have the technology to make it work.  People might miss the cup of tea and chat though.

Reminded me of a book written by Sir Michael Tippet (English, mainly Operas) in which, during his college days, he would set up an "instant orchesta" in the park, on the footpath, at the train station, anywhere for similar reasons - to just do it and enjoy the moment.  The other musical sites to stop people in the street are the Salvation Army bands or even a Marching Band.  Somehow, it's a direct hit at the emotional cortex.   A kid would gravitate to any musical sound and maybe parents enjoy the misdirection.

Couldn't get more living in the moment that with what you've set up.  Good Luck.

Adios, David.

[geoff]

dear Walter, I too am so sorry that it's been 5 days for either David Charles or myself to reply, as this is a post that you would be hoping for many replies, but sometimes people are tongue-tied and don't know what to say.

I haven't gone to the sites that you have offered to us, but I will, I just wanted to let you know that your devastating story has been heard by at least the two of us, maybe others might reply because we have, and I hope so.

I do remember your name on another post or something similar, but I can't remember.

The loss of your wife, sister and daughter is such a tragedy well beyond belief, that such a family should ever have to endue, you would only think it to be impossible to be so, but no it's happened to you, and now you have Parkinson's disease.

The only resolution is that you have found a friend who also suffers from the same disease, and I really hope that he is an empathic type person, and who can comfort you in regards to all your suffering.

It's a real shame that I couldn't get to know you both more, as I look after other well matured people, because I love the history that you can remember and be able to talk about it, at least this maybe some comfort for you, because you deserve as much as there is possible. Geoff.