Action not only words

[white knight]

Its fair to say many of us are confused souls, seemingly talking and asking endless questions about things that dont come naturally to us. Thats good for we try to fill the void, we strive to gain what came naturally for many other people.

However, we can study others riding bicycles, read up on balancing, get a teacher to show us the controls. ..but we wont progress without...getting on that bike!

At the height of my anxiety late 1980's my therapist asked me to carry out various tasks between appointments. Relaxation, muscle tensioning exercises, bush walks, extinguishing unrealistic thoughts. After several sessions he questioned why I hadnt acted on those tasks for he knew I hadnt, such was my lack of progress. "If you dont act you dont get...you remain anxious"

Indeed he was correct and those tasks were done for many years until recovery after being challenged.

So why didnt I do those tasks?. I think the closest excuse is it was easier to take meds and "hope for the best" than introduce daily rituals that have effect only in the long term. Long term training isnt appealing for an anxious impatient person.

We, the mentally unwell quibble about normal people not understanding us, about their lack of effort yet we shy away from physical effort that could cure us or at least help us. Only as individuals can we implant effort to, in practical ways, put that theory into practice.

But if you are like me you'll end up with lots of theories and a limit on how much you can effectively implement those theories into practice. The key as I've found out over time is to expect little advance and be happy with whatever steps you achieve.

Then armed with the right attitude we wont only get on that bike...we'll keep getting on it every time we fall off. As long as we dont give up. One day we'll ride down the road towards normality at least in that direction.

Put theory into practice. Expect slow progress. Dont expect too much of yourself and dont forget to laugh when you fall off your bike.

Tony WK

[Just Sara]

What great advice Tony;

As usual your insight's spreadin' the love!

For every action there's an equal or opposite reaction. So without action, a desired outcome is pie in the sky or, flogging the proverbial dead horse.

There is something to be said for theory though, without which we don't 'understand' what strategies to put into place within our management/safety plans for instance.

Personally, I start by learning, knowing, being then doing the doing. It works for me, but can be long winded. I remember when my brain broke, I was trapped in my home by delusion and fear. I finally got the courage to go outside and began digging in the dirt pulling weeds. It not only regulated my energy levels and grounded me, it reconnected me to my body. (and roots, but that's for another thread)

It's the cure for dissociation; being physically mindful, it takes concentration. My overgrown garden needed me as much as I needed it.

That was one of many valuable (and successful) steps on my road to recovery; remembering I had a body.

Thanks Tony for reminding me.

Sara xo

[white knight]

Hi Sara

Weeding the garden would seem such a mundane chore for those that are not unwell. But we come from the earth and the sea. We often overlook the fundamentals in life as we are on the fast train. For me and likely many we have to mentally begin our lifes journey again and what better way than a basic connection to the earth.

I remember when a friend told me to google "maharaji sunset youtube" my reaction to that clip was profound, life changing. I was very unwell at the time and maharaji suggested in one of his teachings to climb a hill and watch one of the greatest experiences on earth...a sunset. A sunset goes for 2 hours...how many of us have seen a sunset he asks?

In a buddha pose it slowly went down. My eyes closed tears falling, a blackbird momentarily landed on my shoulder, an owl hoots...just incredible. Life began to mean something.

The corner of my land

In the corner of my land

An experience few would understand

Cast ones heart from that buddha pose

Allow a spider to dance on your nose

A falling star lands afar

Searching for who we are

Of birds and flowers of infinite grace

At one with the land, the sea and space

In the corner of my land

Few will understand

But I be eager for that special place

At one with the earth, the sea and...infinate ..space...

Tony WK

[Just Sara]

I watched the sun set last night Tony as I stood patiently on my back deck.

The sky was overcast so the deep orange and red hue spread overhead as well as on the horizon. It was pretty bloody spectacular! Something of this calibre calls for 'pause' I agree...

These few moments reflected the end to a wonderful day of re-energised intent. I thought of taking a photo, but frankly, didn't want to move away from that glory. So I told myself to just accept the gift and enjoy it.

As you say, those affected with MI tend not to take these amazing moments for granted as others might; depending where you are in your recovery.

Indigenous/spiritual cultures hold the earth, animals, sky, wind, rain and sun/moon as sacred for good reason. Western culture (if that's what you could call it) leans towards 'self'; it's a crime I think. Where did we go wrong???

I remember standing in the rain with my face to the sky revelling in each droplet of water touching my body; I'd been in my tortured head for so long. It felt energising, spiritual and very personal in nature.

Last night I watched a doco on TV. It showed Chimpanzee's exhibiting what could be interpreted as 'sacred/spiritual' behaviour while near a beautiful waterfall. Sometimes they'd look up at it without movement, pausing while mist sprayed over them.

I have a large Buddha sitting in the centre of my back yard leaning on many rocks I placed behind Him; leftovers from previous owners. He's a constant reminder of being mindful and especially exercising discernment.

A healthy mental state requires balance of all existential elements of our being. Re-igniting the connection to our body gets us out of our heads. Experiencing nature's wonders has no comparison in this respect.

Thanks Tony for giving me a place to express this.

Sara xo

[blondguy]

Hi Tony

Another great (and wise) thread from you

I really like your thread topic "action not words" Even though its difficult to be determined and nag our doctor its a really valid point for some people that think that sporadic therapy 'will do'......Just from my recovery, infrequent therapy has little value where healing is concerned.

Some people think that seeing our therapist is meant to be a rapid cure or having a chat for a short lived vent. Just IMO if our therapist doesnt make us feel uncomfortable we have the wrong therapist. A good counselor will take out us out of comfort zone and challenge our thinking to help us help ourselves.

I really feel for the people that think that a visit their counselor is meant to be 50/50 split.

Thanks again for another great thread topic

No pain....No gain....( where therapy is concerned.....unfortunately)

Paul

[Just Sara]

Hey Paul;

I just wanted to pop in and show support for your sentiments...no pain, no gain. This has been a well debated subject on physical overkill for decades, but for those trapped in their heads, it equates to a successful recovery process.

It's painful and scary and debilitating, but action can speak louder than words if we push ourselves. Finding a therapist who as you say, makes us uncomfortable at times, can be just the ticket to give those words a voice, and then freedom.

For some unfortunately, waiting until they're beyond crisis point, only makes the journey of recovery longer and harder.

Finding and reconnecting with our voices, bodies, origins and our simplicity will not fail us.

Quote:

'I only went out for a walk on a hill, then decided to stay till sundown. I found that staying out meant, I was actually going in' - John Moir

Take care;

Sara xo

[blondguy]

Excuse I for hijacking your post Tony...

No worries Sara...Its good that you understand the thread topic re action and not only words

I was only saying (IMO) that many people use a visit to their counselor as a 'good chat'. It just doesnt work that way unfortunately. A decent therapist will remove us from our comfort zone to effectively treat the underlying core issues without just a 'temporary band aid solution'

Self help can sometimes be futile unless we have a hand from someone that can 'show us the way'

Excuse I Tony for putting a spanner in your thread topic. I was only trying to say that action and not only words are a great way out of some of the mess we find ourselves in....no matter how difficult the problem was at its inception.

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Tony, I agree totally with your initial post & the bicycle analogy makes sense. I guess the problem is finding the right bike to ride. ie what should you you be doing now to help yourself. Also what do you do when you get on the bike & fall off & get injured? For example at the moment I'm sleep deprived & stressed. I have been given recommendations to help manage the sleep & stress in the past but ATM they don't work. I need a new technique to manage the problem. What I'm trying to say is while we need to try things but sometimes we may need to keep persisting to see if we can succeed, Sometimes we need to accept that we need to try something different. & sometimes we fall off the bike & injure ourself In other words things go wrong in our life which affect our physical & mental health so we need to perhaps have a break & allow time to regroup before trying again. It is hard to know when pushing yourself is best & when giving yourself a rest is needed.

[white knight]

Hi Elizabeth

You put your reply well.

We are so unique us humans we must keep trying strategies until one works.

Some people or their carers post on this forum that they or their partner has tried two or three meds "they dont agree with him so he gave up". Yet my 12th med type worked.

Sleep is another issue I had up till 1988. At the peak of my anxiety and at that time undiagnosed mania my therapist taught me muscle tensioning exercises. Every night I'd lie in bed for 20 minutes and do them prior to sleep. If done properly and thoroughly I'd go to sleep. It is the best wind down. And 30 years later I'm still doing them.

It involves tensioning up all muscles two at a time....toes, ankles, calfs right up to your head for 10 full seconds each. At the end you tension up all your muscles together for 15-20 seconds. I guarantee your heart rate drops as it tries to pump blood to those needy muscles.

Im aware of what the thrust of your reply is about Elizabeth, that when injured mentally strategies like the bicycle one is good in theory but less of a possible road to take. I get that. My ideas are (for those impaired souls) to keep them at the back of your mind as a thing learned that one day you'll be capable in putting such theories in motion. One day you just might say "hey, I'm getting on that bike...because i feel well enough to do so"

The notion we can do anything in life, put our minds to near impossible tasks is unrealistic. But we can ride damaged bikes a short distance.

Thanks for your post. I always enjoy them.

Tony WK

[blondguy]

Hi Tony

I copied this part of your original post that said so much for everyone...."Only as individuals can we implant effort to, in practical ways, put that theory into practice"

You have covered everything (as usual) in one clear sentence....Sorry to butt in before on your thread Tony..I wasnt expecting a post to me from Sara...It just caught me by surprise...and its not my thread...

Thankyou again for the great thread. Paul