Hi there Systema, you've come on to a old post here and may not get responses from the original post. You may like to start your own thread and chat.
However, from what I see and read, what you are questioning now is very common. I came out last year at 47 and married for 20 years. I knew all my life I was gay, but the pressures of family and society was what kept me in the closet.
I guess, only you know what you like and want, who you are attracted to. You may like both - that is, be Bi. And that's okay.
I'd suggest speaking to a counsellor, they can help. There is no shame in talking. You can also speak to an organisation called Qlife. They are an LGBT peer support line. Google them for details.
You may or may not consider yourself as LGBT, it may even scare you (It did me). But it needn't. There is nothing wrong with you and you shouldn't think it either.
Don't be in a rush to change your current situation - why rock the boat if you love her and she loves you, and you are thinking of starting a family. Work out what is best for you first. I would suggest not "trying" anything out whilst with her - though some do (and again whatever works for people - I'm not judgy!). I never sought the company of another guy whilst married. I think in the end, my honest with my wife, and the trust we'd built over 25 years, helped her come to terms with what I told her. She remains my best friend, and I love her dearly. I am glad to have her in my life, but think that had I done things behind her back, it would be different.
Good luck with working on you.
Cheers
Daz
