The misunderstood girl

[The-misunderstood-girl]

Hi I don’t even know where to begin or if I’m even in the right place but here goes.

Since I was young I have always dreamt of girls. I have always had a better connection with boys when it comes to hanging out but when it comes to connection of attraction it has always been females. I grew up in an incredibly strict family so being anything other then what I was suppose to be has always run my life. As the years went by my dreams have never stopped with how I felt about women. I guess I don’t know what kind of person I truly am or meant to be. I’m in a long term relationship now and I don’t want to jeopardise it however I feel like I was meant for more then how I am living now. What does it even mean. Who am I really…

[geoff]

Hello TMG, having a better connection with the boys is not the same as being attracted to girls because this is what draws one person to another, their looks, personality and how they behave, it's totally different from being involved with boys.

A boy and a girl do things in a different way than how a girl to girl do, but you may have already tested this by going out with another shopping, having a coffee or going somewhere together and which of these are you more comfortable doing with a man or a female.

If you are not happy living the way you are now, then you could suggest having a break from each other and then find out who is your true love.

Geoff.

[sbella02]

Hey The-misunderstood-girl,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, welcome back to our forums. As a bisexual woman who was always taught that heterosexuality was the norm, I completely understand where you're coming from here.

Firstly, it's great that you're acknowledging how you're feeling, that's a fantastic first step. If you're interested in learning more about your own feelings, I would encourage you to have a little Google search about the different types of attraction, and perhaps identify which types you relate to the most. This may help you to come to terms with your feelings of attraction a little more. Don't be scared to do a bit more research, I know that Reddit can also be a great platform for finding the experiences of others that you may relate to.

If you haven't already, I would also consider whether you still experience attraction to boys, or whether it's something called "compulsory heterosexuality". Basically, "is this genuine attraction or is this just what I've been taught attraction to boys should feel like?". This may be a lot to digest at the moment considering your current feelings, but it may be something to consider in future.

Have you talked to your partner about your feelings at all? If you feel comfortable, I would encourage you to open up to them about your thoughts, or even opening up to a trusted friend. Talking about it with somebody may also help you consolidate what you're feeling and what your next steps in the relationship may be.

Of course, try not to feel pressure to give your feelings a label at this stage. You're still figuring it all out, and you don't need to put a label on your sexuality unless you feel you're ready to.

Please feel free to have more of a chat with us!

All the best, SB