Support
Support

Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

Start a conversation

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a conversation

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

All discussions

Start a conversation

Guest_236 is it worth coming out as bisexual in my circumstances ?
  • replies: 8

Hi there, I'm Tea I hope you're all doing well; I'll get right into it. Some background information. I'm new to this section of Beyond Blue forums, and kind of new to the LGBT+ community. I'm a cis female, turned 18 last month. About a year ago, I st... View more

Hi there, I'm Tea I hope you're all doing well; I'll get right into it. Some background information. I'm new to this section of Beyond Blue forums, and kind of new to the LGBT+ community. I'm a cis female, turned 18 last month. About a year ago, I started questioning my sexual identity, although I think I kind of always knew I was bi. I came out to my friends (most of which are LGBT+) when I started dating another girl, although I implied I'm bi long before I officially came out. My relationship with the girl was brief, and didn't end on good terms. But I appreciate her and the experience nevertheless as it was really affirming. As for how I present, I'm pretty open about my identity with people my age, but only indirectly imply it. Here are my circumstances. I have not come out to my parents, and when relevant conversation topics or jokes arise, I subtly imply that I'm straight. I'm also in a happy and healthy relationship with a cis male (my parents don't know about it but I'm planning on tell them in a few months since I'm graduating high school soon). My mother is a Christian (Jehovah's Witness) but is accepting of LGBT+ people, as she believes "it's not their fault, they can't control who they're attracted to" and is very accepting towards my LGBT+ friends. She also thinks "if you're a christian, it's a sin once you act upon it" and so probably doesn't approve of Christians who are actively gay, and therefore might not approve of me being bi since she doesn't know I'm PIMO. My dad probably thinks about the same. My step father isn't religious and seems very accepting. But my step mum is straight up homophobic and biphobic even if she denies it. She voted no against gay marriage rights and has said that bi people are just selfish, horny and confused, and that's why they can't pick a side. It was really hurtful to hear. I'd be okay with identifying as straight unless I started a serious relationship with a girl, but knowing my step mum thinks that way (and also wanting to be authentic with my mum and dad for once in my life) makes me want to come out as bi, even if I'm in a straight relationship. but it also gives me more reason to not come out. what do you guys think? is it worth coming out? i know this is a big step, and something only i can decide to do once i think i'm ready. but i'd love to get some perspective thank you all so much

_emily_ Unsure about new friend
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone, i made this new female friend while I was at my workplace back in October. It’s really difficult for me to make new friends normally, but we became close very quickly. She’s super friendly, caring, we hang out all the time and she alway... View more

Hey everyone, i made this new female friend while I was at my workplace back in October. It’s really difficult for me to make new friends normally, but we became close very quickly. She’s super friendly, caring, we hang out all the time and she always goes out of her way to do things for me. So out of the blue one day she tells me this female friend of hers might like her as more than a friend. I’m like to her that’s cute if you like her why don’t you go on a date. My friend tells me she has a boyfriend that she finds this friend ugly, said she was disgusted and that she’s not a lesbian or part of the lgbtq group. She also said she would stop being friends with any girl who likes her, but if a guy liked her she would be fine with it. Btw her friend made no indication of liking her as more than a friend and it sounded like my friend made these things up. Her friend just said stuff like she misses her and had extra heart emoticons but somehow that made my friend think she had feelings towards her. Weirdly enough in the middle of the conversation she asks me what if I liked her but I didn’t say anything. After she said all these things about her friend I’m a bit worried about my friendship with her considering I’m not straight, but she doesn’t know that. I just don’t understand why she would tell me this and what should I do about the friendship?

RosalieHoney Finding a Job Where You Can Be Yourself?
  • replies: 5

Hi guys, first time poster here, a 24 y/o afab, with neurodivergency and chronic illness. I am bisexual and exploring my sexuality and gender further. The situation is that I grew up in a very intolerant religious household where I could not be who I... View more

Hi guys, first time poster here, a 24 y/o afab, with neurodivergency and chronic illness. I am bisexual and exploring my sexuality and gender further. The situation is that I grew up in a very intolerant religious household where I could not be who I am at all, and it hurt me a lot, as I'm sure many of you know. I've spent the last few years dealing with depression, anxiety and trauma and learning to feel safe exploring who I am. The lockdowns really helped me to feel like I can be myself, and I'm finally ready to explore work/study options and begin building a life for myself - as me. I've been very isolated, and I don't have anyone who doesn't fit the 'norm' to ask about well, how to actually do that. Here's the tricky thing. When I go to work, I feel a whole ton of pressure to present as straight, neurotypical, and generally very different to who I am. I've worked in a range of jobs to pay the bills including disability support and admin roles. I'm quite shy but very confident and outgoing when I am comfortable. It feels like I've spent all this time learning how to be myself, but then I can't be me from 9-5 for 5 days a week. I live in a trendy neighbourhood and I see a lot of people who have coloured hair, tattoos and unusual or androgynous clothes and who seem to laugh and joke with coworkers in chill cafes and feel so utterly comfortable in who they are. I don't feel like I can ever have that. And I'm so baffled at how they've found that supportive environment. All of my jobs have felt like I have to put on a costume to go to work. I've just moved to a new city, and I'm exploring new work and study options. If you are open about who you are, what industry do you work in? Do you feel like you have to hide? Are some industries better than others? Any and all advice is welcomed! Thanks in advance

Sezza_H Confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian
  • replies: 8

I'm confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I feel very anxious about it. It's been weighing on my mind after I went on my first ever date. It was with a kind and genuine guy that I had been talking to ... View more

I'm confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I feel very anxious about it. It's been weighing on my mind after I went on my first ever date. It was with a kind and genuine guy that I had been talking to for a few days prior to meeting up. I had a lovely time with him and we have a lot in common. However, the thought of being affectionate with him make me feel a little uncomfortable. Then I realised that the thought of being affectionate with any man makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I feel like I would be a lot more comfortable with affection if it was with another woman. I'm just really confused and I'm not sure what to think about this. Does this mean that I am a lesbian? How am I supposed to figure this out? What if I am actually straight and its just that I haven't met the right guy yet? In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do about this guy. Do I go on another date with him? I'm just so confused about it all and I'm not sure what to do...

John2468 Asexual or low libido
  • replies: 8

So my partner and I have significant differences in our libidos that is jeopardizing our relationship. I had generally gone with the assumption that my low libido was due to weight, my dreadful mental health and stress. My partner's libido is very hi... View more

So my partner and I have significant differences in our libidos that is jeopardizing our relationship. I had generally gone with the assumption that my low libido was due to weight, my dreadful mental health and stress. My partner's libido is very high. A month or so ago my partner showed me a post they had found regarding asexuality that to their mind could explain things. Asexuality is something I had not heard of before and reading some more about it, I see why my partner came to that view. I've looked at some online tests on asexuality but I'm sceptical about them, with the line between asexuality and low libido seeming quite blurred. I'm lost and confused and don't know which way to turn.

jimmy52 52 bi and feeling alone
  • replies: 2

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group t... View more

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group to talk to,

Lost_Soul I DESPISE ME
  • replies: 5

I am gay and I was molested as a child... These are two realisations that I only learned to accept and fully understand 2-3 years ago. I am no expert but I am convinced that my abuse had a lot to do with my sexuality. I didn't know how it started but... View more

I am gay and I was molested as a child... These are two realisations that I only learned to accept and fully understand 2-3 years ago. I am no expert but I am convinced that my abuse had a lot to do with my sexuality. I didn't know how it started but I am certain that I am already trapped in such a horrific situation as early as I start to come to my own senses. I hate what I am now, what I have become, I despise it. I want to live a straight life and tried so hard to do it with little to zero success. I've had straight relationships in the past to try to live the ideal straight life that I am dreaming of but I've always known that I am lying to myself. I don't hate the LGBT community but I hate myself for being gay and I hate this life even more thinking that i could have a better shot at living a straight life had I have not been molested.... And now, all the urges, all the attraction towards the same sex that im trying to block are only getting stronger. I know there's no escaping it and I am what I am now. I'm in my late 30s already, diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I am extremely unhappy, i always feel that there is a void inside me, I feel that life is wasting away before my eyes... I am in the closet and Id probably stay there till the day I die. I am getting tired... I guess this is my cry for help for anyone who could make me appreciate this life that I am causing me too much suffering...

DragonFlower how to deal with dysphoria?
  • replies: 3

I no longer know what the hell I am but this dysphoria is killing me, are there any ways you know to help? also how do you know what your gender/sexuality/orientation/etc is bc im really confused and i cant tell whats real anymore

I no longer know what the hell I am but this dysphoria is killing me, are there any ways you know to help? also how do you know what your gender/sexuality/orientation/etc is bc im really confused and i cant tell whats real anymore

Skippyb1 I’m bigender and bisexual and scared how others will react
  • replies: 5

I’m 14 and everyone knows I’m bisexual but they don’t know I’m bigender and I’m scared to tell them especially my family because of how they’ll react I want to be able to be myself. I’m scared to be myself because of high school there’s a lot of pres... View more

I’m 14 and everyone knows I’m bisexual but they don’t know I’m bigender and I’m scared to tell them especially my family because of how they’ll react I want to be able to be myself. I’m scared to be myself because of high school there’s a lot of pressure in that environment and people there aren’t great. Lately I’ve been experiencing anxiety and I’m scared to talk to people and not being able to be myself is a part of that. I’ve experienced a few panic attacks because of this. I want to be able to tell people who I am but I’m really terrified. If you think you have ways to help with this please share.

june_03 feeling like I can’t express myself
  • replies: 3

Hello :), I have been wanting to cut my hair pretty short for a while ( i am a girl btw) and i think it would make me really happy but every time I ask my mum to make a booking she tells me that “i should grow it out” or “it will look like a boy hair... View more

Hello :), I have been wanting to cut my hair pretty short for a while ( i am a girl btw) and i think it would make me really happy but every time I ask my mum to make a booking she tells me that “i should grow it out” or “it will look like a boy haircut” and basically just discourages me completely. She always says that our long hair looks so nice and we shouldn’t cut it. I know this isn’t a huge deal compared to many issues on here but I feel like my self expression is being suppressed. She let my brother get whatever hair cut he wanted but she just seems to hate the idea of my hair being short. I am a teenager btw so I can’t really book/go to get it done myself. I am probably overthinking it but if she doesn’t want me to have short hair then I am worried about how she would react to finding out I like girls? anyway this was just a little rant my mum is great most of the time it’s just really frustrating. anyone had a similar experience/ does it get better when you’re and adult? - june

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright � 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map