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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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RosalieHoney Finding a Job Where You Can Be Yourself?
  • replies: 5

Hi guys, first time poster here, a 24 y/o afab, with neurodivergency and chronic illness. I am bisexual and exploring my sexuality and gender further. The situation is that I grew up in a very intolerant religious household where I could not be who I... View more

Hi guys, first time poster here, a 24 y/o afab, with neurodivergency and chronic illness. I am bisexual and exploring my sexuality and gender further. The situation is that I grew up in a very intolerant religious household where I could not be who I am at all, and it hurt me a lot, as I'm sure many of you know. I've spent the last few years dealing with depression, anxiety and trauma and learning to feel safe exploring who I am. The lockdowns really helped me to feel like I can be myself, and I'm finally ready to explore work/study options and begin building a life for myself - as me. I've been very isolated, and I don't have anyone who doesn't fit the 'norm' to ask about well, how to actually do that. Here's the tricky thing. When I go to work, I feel a whole ton of pressure to present as straight, neurotypical, and generally very different to who I am. I've worked in a range of jobs to pay the bills including disability support and admin roles. I'm quite shy but very confident and outgoing when I am comfortable. It feels like I've spent all this time learning how to be myself, but then I can't be me from 9-5 for 5 days a week. I live in a trendy neighbourhood and I see a lot of people who have coloured hair, tattoos and unusual or androgynous clothes and who seem to laugh and joke with coworkers in chill cafes and feel so utterly comfortable in who they are. I don't feel like I can ever have that. And I'm so baffled at how they've found that supportive environment. All of my jobs have felt like I have to put on a costume to go to work. I've just moved to a new city, and I'm exploring new work and study options. If you are open about who you are, what industry do you work in? Do you feel like you have to hide? Are some industries better than others? Any and all advice is welcomed! Thanks in advance

Sezza_H Confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian
  • replies: 8

I'm confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I feel very anxious about it. It's been weighing on my mind after I went on my first ever date. It was with a kind and genuine guy that I had been talking to ... View more

I'm confused as to whether or not I am a lesbian. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I feel very anxious about it. It's been weighing on my mind after I went on my first ever date. It was with a kind and genuine guy that I had been talking to for a few days prior to meeting up. I had a lovely time with him and we have a lot in common. However, the thought of being affectionate with him make me feel a little uncomfortable. Then I realised that the thought of being affectionate with any man makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I feel like I would be a lot more comfortable with affection if it was with another woman. I'm just really confused and I'm not sure what to think about this. Does this mean that I am a lesbian? How am I supposed to figure this out? What if I am actually straight and its just that I haven't met the right guy yet? In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do about this guy. Do I go on another date with him? I'm just so confused about it all and I'm not sure what to do...

John2468 Asexual or low libido
  • replies: 8

So my partner and I have significant differences in our libidos that is jeopardizing our relationship. I had generally gone with the assumption that my low libido was due to weight, my dreadful mental health and stress. My partner's libido is very hi... View more

So my partner and I have significant differences in our libidos that is jeopardizing our relationship. I had generally gone with the assumption that my low libido was due to weight, my dreadful mental health and stress. My partner's libido is very high. A month or so ago my partner showed me a post they had found regarding asexuality that to their mind could explain things. Asexuality is something I had not heard of before and reading some more about it, I see why my partner came to that view. I've looked at some online tests on asexuality but I'm sceptical about them, with the line between asexuality and low libido seeming quite blurred. I'm lost and confused and don't know which way to turn.

jimmy52 52 bi and feeling alone
  • replies: 2

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group t... View more

hi new to all this, not long come out to myself and my wife, she seems ok with it. now that i am self aware i think about it more i feel a bit alone with it as i know no other people that are bi or lgbt it would be good to have people of that group to talk to,

Lost_Soul I DESPISE ME
  • replies: 5

I am gay and I was molested as a child... These are two realisations that I only learned to accept and fully understand 2-3 years ago. I am no expert but I am convinced that my abuse had a lot to do with my sexuality. I didn't know how it started but... View more

I am gay and I was molested as a child... These are two realisations that I only learned to accept and fully understand 2-3 years ago. I am no expert but I am convinced that my abuse had a lot to do with my sexuality. I didn't know how it started but I am certain that I am already trapped in such a horrific situation as early as I start to come to my own senses. I hate what I am now, what I have become, I despise it. I want to live a straight life and tried so hard to do it with little to zero success. I've had straight relationships in the past to try to live the ideal straight life that I am dreaming of but I've always known that I am lying to myself. I don't hate the LGBT community but I hate myself for being gay and I hate this life even more thinking that i could have a better shot at living a straight life had I have not been molested.... And now, all the urges, all the attraction towards the same sex that im trying to block are only getting stronger. I know there's no escaping it and I am what I am now. I'm in my late 30s already, diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I am extremely unhappy, i always feel that there is a void inside me, I feel that life is wasting away before my eyes... I am in the closet and Id probably stay there till the day I die. I am getting tired... I guess this is my cry for help for anyone who could make me appreciate this life that I am causing me too much suffering...

DragonFlower how to deal with dysphoria?
  • replies: 3

I no longer know what the hell I am but this dysphoria is killing me, are there any ways you know to help? also how do you know what your gender/sexuality/orientation/etc is bc im really confused and i cant tell whats real anymore

I no longer know what the hell I am but this dysphoria is killing me, are there any ways you know to help? also how do you know what your gender/sexuality/orientation/etc is bc im really confused and i cant tell whats real anymore

Skippyb1 I’m bigender and bisexual and scared how others will react
  • replies: 5

I’m 14 and everyone knows I’m bisexual but they don’t know I’m bigender and I’m scared to tell them especially my family because of how they’ll react I want to be able to be myself. I’m scared to be myself because of high school there’s a lot of pres... View more

I’m 14 and everyone knows I’m bisexual but they don’t know I’m bigender and I’m scared to tell them especially my family because of how they’ll react I want to be able to be myself. I’m scared to be myself because of high school there’s a lot of pressure in that environment and people there aren’t great. Lately I’ve been experiencing anxiety and I’m scared to talk to people and not being able to be myself is a part of that. I’ve experienced a few panic attacks because of this. I want to be able to tell people who I am but I’m really terrified. If you think you have ways to help with this please share.

june_03 feeling like I can’t express myself
  • replies: 3

Hello :), I have been wanting to cut my hair pretty short for a while ( i am a girl btw) and i think it would make me really happy but every time I ask my mum to make a booking she tells me that “i should grow it out” or “it will look like a boy hair... View more

Hello :), I have been wanting to cut my hair pretty short for a while ( i am a girl btw) and i think it would make me really happy but every time I ask my mum to make a booking she tells me that “i should grow it out” or “it will look like a boy haircut” and basically just discourages me completely. She always says that our long hair looks so nice and we shouldn’t cut it. I know this isn’t a huge deal compared to many issues on here but I feel like my self expression is being suppressed. She let my brother get whatever hair cut he wanted but she just seems to hate the idea of my hair being short. I am a teenager btw so I can’t really book/go to get it done myself. I am probably overthinking it but if she doesn’t want me to have short hair then I am worried about how she would react to finding out I like girls? anyway this was just a little rant my mum is great most of the time it’s just really frustrating. anyone had a similar experience/ does it get better when you’re and adult? - june

MikeyQ Coming to terms with my sexuality and meeting men
  • replies: 6

I am a male in my 50's and came out as gay during the last 12 months. As well as struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality (something I was in denial about for most of my life) I am finding it very difficult to meet guys in a similar situatio... View more

I am a male in my 50's and came out as gay during the last 12 months. As well as struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality (something I was in denial about for most of my life) I am finding it very difficult to meet guys in a similar situation to me. To be honest I don't even know where to start. I haven't had any luck with google etc etc. Not a fan of dating apps, as I am trying to find a life partner and hook up's for sex just don't interest me. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated to help me embark on the next phase of my life. Thank you and a Happy New Year to you all.

hewieth14 Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond?
  • replies: 3

i was verbally harassed, over text, a couple of hours ago - which is usually fine for me because I've learnt/become desensitized to this stuff - and I've sort of spiralled. this has never happened to me so I'm a bit scared but I got caught in the rab... View more

i was verbally harassed, over text, a couple of hours ago - which is usually fine for me because I've learnt/become desensitized to this stuff - and I've sort of spiralled. this has never happened to me so I'm a bit scared but I got caught in the rabbit hole of reflecting on both his idiocy and his words. I kept thinking about it until i realised that i had been researching the mental health issues of lgbtqia+ people. and to put it lightly i went right off at the guy that was texting me. and i wasn't angry that he was calling me this stuff, because i honestly couldn't care less what some boy thinks of me. but i was angrier at how, firstly, inconsiderate he was being, but also how ignorant he was being. it kind of made me think of the bigger picture. I'm one person that its happened to and the other guy is one person that is contributing to the issues. i was angry on a societal level. (he also called me and my bestfriend some other thing which i don't think I'm allowed to say) i told him how his actions have consequences etc, but i evidently didn't get through to him. so i think my question is how do i combat it - mostly over text because i would walk away irl? it's never happened to me before this (i only recently came out). p.s I've blocked the homophobe for anyone wondering - only positive vibes only here

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