Sexuality & religion

[Guest_60161145]

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my family they are like hella and obv I’m scared to tell them in the near future. Does anyone have any suggestions they can help me out with how I could have this conversation. I love my religion but also there are things that I disagree with such as obv not being able to be in same sex relationship. I’m always confused about that because if it feels right then why did god make me this way why is he letting me have deep feelings for my girlfriend. Can you anyone please help me out I’m always in stress about this and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family or my girlfriend either.

[Croix]

Dear New Member

I'd like to give you a warm welcome here to the Support Forum. You sound both a loving and conscientious person and it is a pleasure to talk with  you.

I guess the first thing to say is that you are an adult person in you own right and can accept the way you are. Sexual orientation does not seem to me as being important, while honesty and kindness are truly important character traits.

If you have found someone to love, and they love you then you have both been given a great gift, something that should be preserved. Very many people of all orientations simply are not that lucky.

I am not qualified to enter into religious discussion and would not presume to do so  though I do note there does seem to be a more liberal view throughout parts of various religions and it may be a question of geographic location and prevailing views that make a difference. Looking on the internet there are many in the LGBTQIA+ community who have difficulties with religious tenets and do not accept everything their religion dictates, you are far from alone

I'd suggest QLIFE as a place to start, as the same conversation applies to more than Muslims.

It is only natural to want the love of one's parents, and I hope that their love for you is not blocked by a religious barrier. If you get the chance I'd sound each out in general terms on their attitude to gays. If they are not sympathetic then any revelation you make may end up unhappily and best left, at least for now, then again you might find an ally.

I guess you have to make a judgment call on their attitudes and I hope for the best for you.

You are welcome here anytime

Croix

[sofaking]

Hi, im a gay guy at a christian school so different ish situation, but i learnt that religion is not a natural truth of the universe [i.e. there is no big bang but god made the earth in 7 days] and i dont believe in the concept of an afterlife. then after i knew that i had nothing to be afraid of about religion because i would never go to hell, i no longer felt "saved" by jesus. 
But everytime i told my parents that im not religious they yell at me, so i just lie to them that i am. i dont know what your parents would do, but i would not come out to them until you have your own house/income/etc your safety should be your #1 priority. im sorry you have to hide yourself, it will get better for you

[Croix]

Dear Sofaking (with a wave to the new member)~

It is unfortunate that some parents firstly do not realise the damage they can do from their  position of authority and having the love of an offspring, but are also simply too rigid.

Maybe due to religious or cultural beliefs, maybe thier own upbringing or other factors. It would be nice to believe that parental love will overcome such beliefs, and I'm sure in many cases it does. Sadly in others it doe not. In my own case I was formally disinherited after going against my parent's wishes.  It showed me all of a sudden there had been no love there whilst I was growing up.

Your advice not to go against one's parents until one is financially secure is a prudent one unless one is very sure they will understand. It also helps if one has someone to go to.

Croix