purposely isolating myself throughout life due to Gender dysphoria

[Guest1243]

I have isolated myself as much as possible throughout life because people and the world scare me.

I have never been able to work people out, and don't like playing games.

I have finally become myself after 54 years of terror and would like to try and make friends.

I have worked and "socialized" to the degree i could. But i always have a wall up.

I find that i put people off. I don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong.but desperatly need company.

I am very passable and don't look my age( not that those things should matter) But they do to some people

I'm am very interesting and very interested.

Please....someone help...............I have only just started my life, and have to make the most of the years left

BTW.....I have tryed trans groups, but do not relate, and also have no interest in all the things happening in the world aroud these topics.

Neither i nor you will change peoples mind. all we can do is lead by example.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Thanks for writing in, not easy sometimes.

Although my issues are different, my drive to exit society was very strong in my 20's that led to several attempts to live in the bush, reject society entirely and avoid people- why? Well I'll put aside my illness for a moment (bipolar, dysthymia, anxiety then) and say that people are destructive, opinionated without tact and judgemental. They can also be manipulative, political without flex and often in cliques.

Needless to say such actions of mine didnt succeed. I realised I needed supplies, food, clothes etc. So I knew that a half way point was more ideal and set about leaving the city to live in a small town. I'd work in a job that I'd strive to get qualified for, the ideal was no supervision and ended up as a private investigator in my own business- perfect, work alone using only my phone for contact to receive work.

Next was basic housing, well I was fortunate in that I'd spent time in the armed forces and qualified for a home loan, a basic cabin would suffice. But finally my need would be to insulate myself from some people. Cognitive therapy taught me that I hadnt matured/developed in some areas as a teenager, one of those was to screen strangers for their qualities, I'd simply accept them then get hurt down the track. So I developed this concept that follows

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/fortress-of-s...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/general/search-results?keywords=fortress%20of%20survival%20part%202

These "walls" are merely a replacement for the walls normally developed people have.

The next most important thing for you would be acceptance of the jigsaw piece and your nature.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/sexuality-and-gender-identity/not-convention...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/accepting-yourself-the-frog-and...

Then there is the moral high ground which is perfectly ok to get society into perspective.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/stigma-and-discrimination/so-what-are-their-...

As straight people far outnumber LGBTIQ people and its hard enough finding a partner for us the former, I strongly suggest you try dating sites

I hope that works, feel free to repost about anything.

TonyWK

[Guest1243]

Thank-you TonyWK

I am going to check out the links right now

I hope to get some pointers from them

Either way......Thankyou