I'm new here. I suffer from anxiety and wonder if it's normal to often feel like I'm totally detached from people.
In my current relationship sometimes I feel like I'm acting as if i'm a good partner, but it feels a little unreal. I do all the right things, say all the right words but I feel detached. I don't know how to be physically attracted to my partner and I feel like a robot.
I try and listen to my mother when she talks to me on the phone, and I find myself barely listening, and not for lack of effort. I'm generally trying, and just sometimes not even comprehending the conversation.
I stand in a crowd and feel invisible but in the spotlight at the same time, like it's obvious how much of a loner I am... then I need to go and stand with a random bunch of people so that I can camouflage myself.
I'm too scared to talk to my friends cause I feel unwanted or like someone will talk over me. When I do want to engage with them, I have no words in my head and don't know how to act normal around them and don't know what to say - my mind is empty.
The relationships in my life don't feel real, and I don't know how to make them feel real - I feel out of place in most situations.
Context: Bullied quite a bit, through school and work. Sexuality issues with unknown sexual orientation, but settling on bisexual.
