My Husband Didn't Make Me Happy

[eeva235]

My husband didn't make me happy, so we divorced. He didn't make me feel loved, appreciated or valued. I complained that he was always working late and when he wasn't working he was asleep. I complained that he didn't wash the dishes, he left his clothes on the floor and he never made the bed. I thought my husband was the source of my unhappiness, and just maybe, if we got divorced, I could be happy again. Simply put, I blamed him for my unhappiness.
So after two short years of marriage, we separated. Yes, we still loved each other. And no, nothing catastrophic happened. No infidelity, no gambling, and no abuse. It was simple: We just weren't happy.
But what in the hell is happy and how did we lose it? Did we ever even have it? Given that we left our marriage for it, it must be pretty important. But honestly, I had no clue what happiness really was or how to get it. So I started on my own personal journey to happiness.

So, please anybody help me or give me some suggestion.

[MarkPiz]

Hi eeva235,

I read your post a few times and it sounds like you answered your own question. I liked your last sentence "So I started on my own personal journey to happiness". I am no expert, just your average joe, but it sounds to me you just need to figure out some things, on your own.

Personally, I would get a bit tired having to pick up after my partner all the time, I think I would resent it after a while. It sounds like you love this man and I hope things can work out there. I am not sure if this is helpful (and may be a reflection of my own difficulties), but I did feel a little sad reading your post. You sound like you both love each other and its a shame you parted ways. At the same time. I can understand why you had too (for the sake of your own wellbeing). Sounds like you did a really courageous thing.

I think the concept of 'happy' is a bit overrated and there is a good book by an Australian author which goes into a discussion about how 'happiness can be a trap'. My suggestion is may be check it out.

I hope things work out for you.

[MyLadyGirl]

Hello eeva235,

As MarkPiz I may no expert in marriage but I do have a partner that I am staying with like husband and wife. I can vouch that when we were dating there we alot of sparks and love but after moving in the sparks disappear and it's no longer there. However, to sustain the relationship and maintain the love that I have for him, I promised or I say I requested to him that what ever happen we should not loose the touch that we have when we were dating. As of today we still have it. Yes staying with a person that is an OCD where he makes the house upside down.. It really get into my nerves and I always argue. When I talked to my mum about it she said that a small thing to argue and fight about. There is a bigger things there. So after realising it, I said ' Hack I can't be bothered' and I cleaned it up. Yes there are times when I too get tired and exhausted after work but what can I do. Nothing. I love this partner of mine.To make it work, I got to do what it takes..

I am so happy that you're on the journey to find your personal happiness. You deserve that and this is your starting point. Everyone need to be happy. To find happiness one need to feel and be happy within themselves. Nothing is more greater then being self-happy because once one is happy then we can make the surounding happy and that's what I do. I try to be happy so my partner can be happy and the working environment that I work with and people I work with can be happy as well..

To start your journey, only you will know where you can start as you only will know better then your self..