Is there something wrong with me?

[Gh0st_ThePup]

I feel like I'm hideous or there's something seriously wrong with me. I've never been a popular guy, I'm disabled, queer, fat, brown and trans; so it's hard for me to make close friends, and I've never been in an actual relationship. The few people who've been interested in me have either been WAY older than me (double, sometimes triple my age) or they're "chasers" (people who sleep with trans people for clout). My best friends are in relationships, and I'm really happy for them. They deserve everything and their amazing people. I find it hard to talk to them without feeling awful. Every time they talk about their partners or show affection to them its like I'm punched in the stomach with the reminder that I have no one. They say I'm a catch and that I'm attractive, but I don't know. I'm on "the apps", I try to put myself out there, but nothing happens. The people I match with on Tinder all unmatch as soon as I send a message, and the only responses I get are for people trying to get me to join their MLMs...I just feel like I'm broken. I'm so tired of being alone. I know I'm not a ten, but I'm not completely unfortunate looking, people always say that "I'm such a great guy" and "I'll make someone really happy one day" I just wish that day would come sooner. I don't want to feel jealous anymore, I'm just tired of watching everyone around me be happy and in love when I'm always hanging around the back. I'm tired of jokes being made at my expense just because I'm single. I'm just tired and alone and I don't want to be.

[Croix]

Dear Gh0st_ThePup~

I'd like to give you a warm welcome to the Forum, there are many here who have had difficulties in finding a meaningful relationship.

I notice all the things you list right at the start, implying they are barriers to being with  another. In fact my experience has been these matters very quickly become secondary, then not important at all

I know it is discouraging when you friends are in relationships and show their affection, however it does not mean it won't come to you.

You are probably wise to avoid those with a radically different in age, while it might work one of the problems is no common ground, for example any jokes they make have references that could be things you have never heard of, "liveing in a cardboard box" from the three Yorkshire men sketch in Mont Python might be an example.

Over time that can create a gap.

I've no magic answer, all I can suggest is to show a genuine interest in people and see where that leads you. Very shortly people will see you for your nature, not the items you listed at the start.  Let yourself be known for being understanding, kind, and even having a sense of humor. Its the sort of thing that will work with people that are worthwhile.

Croix

[Picture]

I am sorry you are having a hard time and are not enjoying being single. I also remember when I was single when I was younger and feeling insecure in a group where my friends had ‘partnered up’. It sounds like you are actively looking for someone but just haven’t found the right person yet. I am not the best person to give advice about that but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Also, if you think it would be useful to talk to someone, I can see from a google search there is a few counselling/support services that could be helpful (eg. QLife).