Im confused about my sexuality and need help

[Liz1]

I've been thinking about this for a while and would like some help.

My first time I was attracted to a girl was when I went to a camp. Her name was Emily, I never got the chance to talk to her because I was too nervous. She did have short hair but also had a very female figure. So that made me question if I liked her for the more male traits of her or if I liked all of her.

I have had a few other crushes on girls since then and they've all been less tom boyish. The problem with that is that I'm not sure if I actully like them or I just think they're really pretty.

I definitely like guys so if I do like girls then I would probably be bi. I want to be 100% certain what my sexuality is before I come out to my family and friends so that somehow if it changes it wont be really awkward saying "hey you know how I told you I'm bi, well I'm not now" I've been thinking about this for a while and I've had enough of being confused

Liz

[Croix]

Dear Liz~

Welcome here to the Forum. It is a friendly place and there are many here, and the range of experiences very wide. So coming here was a good move, you get to see what others think.

I don't think there is any way you can work out who you are just by logic and thinking about it. The world, your world, is made up of experiences, and as you have them you discover more about yourself. This does not just apply to if you are bi, but to about everything in life. Until you have been there you can only guess how you will behave.

Ok, at the moment you may have had a relationship with a boy, or maybe just a friendship, I don't know. From what you have said I am guessing you have not had the same with a girl. So it can be very natural to wonder who you are, what the possibilities are.

Can I suggest you simply respond to people as instinct takes you and see what happens? It may be years before you know, and in the meantime it is not essential you give yourself a label, or announce it to others. Plus people do sometimes change.

There are also other people in the world, yes I know that sounds silly or obvious, however my point is that someone may approach you with the idea of forming a relationship.

You may find it is another person's character, if they are fun, if they understand you and you them, trust and reliability, things like that which help you decide, and gender may become less important.

There is no rush (even if you are convinced there is:)

Croix

[Trinny-scorpion]

Hi Liz

I think its ok to not be 100% certain about your sexuality. Society so often trys to neatly fix us into various boxes of gender, sexuality , men , women blah blah blah 🙂 Thing is who actually fits 100%?? I understand the way you feel though...been there done/doing that myself 🙂 I honestly feel as though my sexuality is fluid rather than fixed and certain...its nomadic based on the conditions:) thats ok you know, it really is. You can just be Liz without explaining anything else. All the best.