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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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brooked I think I’m lesbian
  • replies: 4

I’m 30 years old and have recently realised I might be lesbian i work on a mine site and a female medic came to site I fell in love with her. I have never really experienced this feeling before but think I may have always been attracted to woman! I w... View more

I’m 30 years old and have recently realised I might be lesbian i work on a mine site and a female medic came to site I fell in love with her. I have never really experienced this feeling before but think I may have always been attracted to woman! I was sexually abused by a male as a child is this why I might be lesbian? I’m so confused and don’t know how to deal with these feelings and scared of what others may think

Olly128 Depressed and angry
  • replies: 4

I'm hoping for some advice. While I've come to terms with being gay I'm really struggling seeing my straight friends and gay friends all starting to partner off. While I've dated I feel like I've never found the right person and am always rejected by... View more

I'm hoping for some advice. While I've come to terms with being gay I'm really struggling seeing my straight friends and gay friends all starting to partner off. While I've dated I feel like I've never found the right person and am always rejected by the kind of guy id like. I feel this is stretching into my life where I'm constantly angry to the point where my friends no longer want to spend time with me as I'm so prone to snapping. Does anyonw have suggestions for this I feel like to an extent it's self loathing and while I've seen a counsellor for my anxiety and depression I feel like I'm just going around in circles.

risingangel I NEED HELPPPP!!!!!!!!!
  • replies: 5

All my life i have dated guys (boys), and for TWO years i have been questioning my sexual identity because i don't know what i am, like some days i think girls are hot but i don't know if i would date one. All the girls at my school are straight and ... View more

All my life i have dated guys (boys), and for TWO years i have been questioning my sexual identity because i don't know what i am, like some days i think girls are hot but i don't know if i would date one. All the girls at my school are straight and they say ewww if they know someone is Bi or Les. I feel like im either Bi, or straight but i dont know what one, Im having trouble with it. Im too scared to talk to my parents about it too so i turned to you guys since i know you guys can help and support me. Any help or advice?

SP123 I'm Bisexual and I'm struggling at home and at school.
  • replies: 1

I'm a high school student, 18 years old, and in year 12. I came out as bisexual to my close friends almost 3 years ago. While they have greatly supported me I've been struggling with accepting myself. I don't like being different than my friends and ... View more

I'm a high school student, 18 years old, and in year 12. I came out as bisexual to my close friends almost 3 years ago. While they have greatly supported me I've been struggling with accepting myself. I don't like being different than my friends and dealing with my sexuality has caused me a lot of stress. My grades have been suffering and because of this my Dad get frustrated with me. I feel a lot of pressure to improve, and I know that a big part of my suffering is due to stress and difficulty of accepting my sexuality. I don't want to talk to my parents about it because I don't want to have to come out. I know they're accepting of gay people, but I'm not sure how well they'll take it (especially my Dad) knowing that they have a gay son. School's become hard because of this and home life is more stressful. I just don't know what to anymore.

Paul Describe your ideal life partner.
  • replies: 31

Your description can be of your current love if you have one or who you would love to bump into accidentally (on purpose). You may like to describe only physical attributes, only mental attributes or only emotional attributes. Perhaps the whole lot. ... View more

Your description can be of your current love if you have one or who you would love to bump into accidentally (on purpose). You may like to describe only physical attributes, only mental attributes or only emotional attributes. Perhaps the whole lot. Your ideal life partner might be yourself or a pet! How does/would you like a life partner affect your depression/anxiety? Paul xx

Mark99 50 Married with kids, and just came out to my wife as bisexual, confused
  • replies: 7

Its been about 4 weeks, but the worst 4 weeks of my life. I have been struggling internally with my sexuality for a few years, but simply pushing it away. We had recently separated and I then started more recently secretly experimenting with men. My ... View more

Its been about 4 weeks, but the worst 4 weeks of my life. I have been struggling internally with my sexuality for a few years, but simply pushing it away. We had recently separated and I then started more recently secretly experimenting with men. My wife discovered this. We are now trying to move forward in separation, but trying to keep it amicable. has anyone here been in this situation at such a late age (50)?

Liz1 Im confused about my sexuality and need help
  • replies: 2

I've been thinking about this for a while and would like some help. My first time I was attracted to a girl was when I went to a camp. Her name was Emily, I never got the chance to talk to her because I was too nervous. She did have short hair but al... View more

I've been thinking about this for a while and would like some help. My first time I was attracted to a girl was when I went to a camp. Her name was Emily, I never got the chance to talk to her because I was too nervous. She did have short hair but also had a very female figure. So that made me question if I liked her for the more male traits of her or if I liked all of her. I have had a few other crushes on girls since then and they've all been less tom boyish. The problem with that is that I'm not sure if I actully like them or I just think they're really pretty. I definitely like guys so if I do like girls then I would probably be bi. I want to be 100% certain what my sexuality is before I come out to my family and friends so that somehow if it changes it wont be really awkward saying "hey you know how I told you I'm bi, well I'm not now" I've been thinking about this for a while and I've had enough of being confused Liz

minaisabelle do i even need to ‘officially’ come out?
  • replies: 3

i’m a lesbian. i’ve known so for as long as i can remember, and i’ve been lucky enough to not struggle with coming to the terms that i like girls. i’m 15, and when i was 14 my coming out came so quickly it was overwhelming. i don’t know if you could ... View more

i’m a lesbian. i’ve known so for as long as i can remember, and i’ve been lucky enough to not struggle with coming to the terms that i like girls. i’m 15, and when i was 14 my coming out came so quickly it was overwhelming. i don’t know if you could call it so much a coming out- my mum told me that she knew, and told my dad and some family members that i was gay so i never had to come out to them. i kinda felt forced out of the closet and i was absolutely not ready to come out to my dad, and he’s been more distant since. it’s kind of an unspoken disappointment. my friends told me they already knew when i managed to send a weak, cowardly coming out message to them. apparently the fact that i was 15 and not raving about boys, and fell asleep at sleepovers whenever they talked about guys was a good enough sign that i may have liked girls. i thought it would get easier from here- and trust me, it has- don’t get me wrong, but it also just feels... strange? i wasn’t relieved immediately after coming out. i felt vulnerable, scared and ashamed even when it went well. it wasn’t a great weight off my shoulders, it was more of a concern. is this really what my life is going to be? telling people that i like girls, feeling scared every time and ashamed no matter if the outcome is good or bad? is it always going to be like this? i hate even having to come out. i wish i could just one day have a girlfriend, it it be as normal as if i were to have a boyfriend. but apparently people feel the need to know about your life, and get upset if you don’t tell them. ‘you could have trusted to tell me! why didn’t you tell me? don’t you feel close enough to tell me?’ is something i have received a few times. it’s not that i don’t trust you- it’s that i get so anxious telling people, but in reality it should just be something normal that i don’t need to tell you! i’ve come across the homophobic friends who tell me i’m going to hell- my school has a few of them, thats why i’m so scared to come out officially . i’m a quiet, femme teen girl who doesn’t have the ‘stereotypical’ lesbian look, whatever that is. There are no gay girls in my grade. i would become gossip in my grade, like the last open lesbian girl in the grade above me. so i guess i was wondering- do i even need to come out officially? i feel obligated to because friends and family expect me to, but it just makes me so nervous. if everyone important to me already knows, isn’t that enough? sorry for the long read xx

licibakes Bisexual Support
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am a 16 year old female and in the past year, I have discovered i am bisexual. I have fully accepted that as a part of my life but I am so scared to come out to my family and friends. I know most of them will 100% support me but my father is ho... View more

Hi, I am a 16 year old female and in the past year, I have discovered i am bisexual. I have fully accepted that as a part of my life but I am so scared to come out to my family and friends. I know most of them will 100% support me but my father is homophobic so I am worried to tell him. I also don’t know how to do it as I don’t feel comfortable sitting them down to talk about it or just telling them. I have tried to drop hints like saying there is girls I like but they just take it as me thinking they are pretty. I just want everyone to know and accept me but I know there is going to be people who will judge me, especially since I go to a very catholic high school. I would love if others could tell me their stories of coming out, or some advice if they have gone through a similar situation.

Esti67 Is it possible to stay friends with your ex husband and have a full relationship with a new female partner?
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone, I have posted as Esti on another thread but my situation and its complications are vastly different to my original post. I am 51 and newly out. After a tumultous 6 months i am now living as a lesbian following separating from my husband ... View more

Hi everyone, I have posted as Esti on another thread but my situation and its complications are vastly different to my original post. I am 51 and newly out. After a tumultous 6 months i am now living as a lesbian following separating from my husband who I've been in a relationship with for 35 years. I am out to the people i care about and i am in a relationship with a wonderful woman who i have known for the last 18 years. Things have been good as we are exploring what our relationship is. We would love to live together, I love her, she loves me. I have been included in her life as fully as possible. I have met her family, friends and kids. This us a very big deal to her. Coming out has been very new to me and only a few people know about her. My kids dont (they are adults) but this is changing as i am telling them on Wednesday as i cant stand the secrecy and its causing major problems in our relationship. I desperately want to have her as fully in my life as i am in hers so I've made the decision after a robust conversation to just tell them. I have been scared to so far but understand why this is such an issue. I am still good friends with my ex but my partner feels that this is really inappropriate considering this is all new and its sending mixed messages. Effectively, she's not prepared to have a relationship with someone who doesnt include her as a fuller part of her life as well as being attached to her ex. I completely understand her point and am putting in boundaries with my ex (as hard as it is) and telling my kids, family and important friends about her. My question is has anyone from the LGBTQI community experienced this before when being with someone who still has a lot of attachment to a previous straight relationship. In her words, i am still having an emotional relationship with my ex which means i still have 2 partners even though i have physically moved out of the family home. This us way harder than i thought it would be.I appreciate your thoughts. E