I'm so lost rn

[Hmm_name]

Hi so.... weird posting this up for people to see but it can't hurt I suppose

Ever since I was young I have always like the "boyish" stuff and was told to act and look and dress more female, I hate looking at myself because I have the hips and breasts most girls want and I actually despise myself my family are Mormons and are so trans and homophobic that even I found myself thinking maybe I'm sick and disgusting maybe there is something wrong with me

I haven't been able to leave my bed or room, I can barely be out in public anymore, I have gaingained so much weight and I feel that I wish I never felt this way that I was normal and could accept myself and my body but it isn't my body...I'm lost

[Aaronsis]

Hello Hmm_name

Welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry that you are really struggling with who you are and how you are feeling about who you are right now. It is so tough and especially seeing too that your family and people around you may not understand what you are feeling and who you actually are.

I am going to share a post with you, I also shared it with another person here who too is struggling with there gender and coming out to their family. I chatted on the weekend with some gay male friends of mine and he has directed me to read Michelle Sheppard's Linked In page..so I am going to share it with you too....

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-do-we-know-transgender-issues-michelle-sheppard?fbclid=IwAR3bQ3F...

It may help, it may not but I want you to know that you are supported here and that I am so sorry for the pain you are going through and that this is not easy for you. We are here, to care and to chat and I hope that you feel the support here.

Hope to chat to you some more.

Hugs

Sarah xx

[LittleMissAlice]

Hi Hmm_name,

Righto so I'm not actually sure if your problems solved now or not? Anyway have my completely unnecessary *advice* anyway...

So I read your post and a lot of what you're saying I feel like I've experienced something really similar in my experiences as a trans person as well (though male to female so a little different) and a lot of your thoughts here have crossed my mind as well at one point or another. My families pretty religious too, I've been dealing with their transphobic rants for as long as I can remember and sometimes I feel like thats soaked into me somehow, and that I'm inherently homophobic because of it.

Anywho, the point being, because of that ive also felt like being trans is disgusting and unnatural and wrong, but believe me when I say that it definitely isn't. The idea of being ostracised for trying to be who you are is awful and if people you know are making you feel that way, maybe you need to find people that are ready to accept you for you (I've found that this place is really really great for that). You have absolutely no reason to see your body as imperfect, and I hope you feel better about this soon.

-Marie xo