I Don't Know If I am Completely Straight and I'm Worried

[bumblebee-sweetpea]

Hi

I've never discussed this before, but I just sometimes feel like I'm not full straight. I'm a girl who like boys, and that's for certain. Although, if I see a pretty girl, I feel that same flutter. I don't feel like I want to actually have sex with anyone though. I'm a Christian, and although I know Jesus still loves me, I'm more worried about the people in my circle who I care about that won't be so compassionate.

-b.b.s.p

[white knight]

Hi,

Sorry to say, some Christian groups won’t be compassionate. That is a shame and if your desires grow for same sex interest then the more you may need to separate those two lives.

That is unfortunate if you know fellow parishioners will frown, question, reject or judge, but it is more likely than unlikely.

One well known Aussie singer who’s name escapes me, characterised her lesbian relationship as “fluid” in that she was bisexual and “that’s who I am”. She later married a man and now is a mother.

I think the best message there is to be yourself and ignore pressure from society along with the true and accurate “we are all Gods children” aspect.

I hope I’ve helped clarify the preferred approach you should take as suppression of your true character, denying yourself of natural feelings is not doing you any favours.

Be proud of your uniqueness

TonyWK

[LittleMissAlice]

Hi bumblebee-sweetpea,

I don't want to be a downer either but as you and white knight said, there will undoubtedly be people that aren't fully supportive. While its important that you work towards figuring this out for yourself, its even more important that you're completely safe while doing it.

Maybe if there's anyone you know whos definitely supportive, or a group or community you can find (QLife), that will help you figure this out while keeping you safe? These forums are obviously a great place as well.

I know personally that there's a great a majority of people who would probably never support my choices, and while I still love those people, the people who I know do support me are a great outlet for any thoughts or confusion I might have. Hopefully you can find people like that in your life too.

So yeah, I'm very happy for you in figuring out your feelings, but make sure if there's any possible danger that your safety comes first 🙂

- Marie xo

[SammyB]

Hi bumblebee-sweetpea,

As you’ve mentioned it’s your first time talking about this part of your identity– it’s a big step that can bring about many thoughts and feelings. It’s very brave of you to share your story. There’s no judgement here so feel free to check-in if you’ve had any other thoughts or feelings come up after writing this. It’s normal to feel a bit confused and worried about what other’s might think of you, especially if most people around you identify as straight. I’ve had similar thoughts before sharing with other’s that I identify as a lesbian.

One thing I would suggest is to give yourself time to process your feelings and don’t feel like you have to fit under a certain label. As LittleMissAlice pointed out, if you’d like to hear other perspectives and lived experiences from members of the LGTBI community check out QLife (https://qlife.org.au/get-help ). They have a range of resources and even off webchat support (between 3pm and midnight) if you prefer talking online. You say you have worries about people in your circle who won't be so compassionate, are there any in your circle you do feel comfortable talking to? In the meantime, we are here listening.

Sammy