How do you describe sexual attraction

[Stuck_in_the_closet]

So I was wondering if anyone is able to help describe what sexual attraction feels like and the distinguishing factors between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction. I’m not in a position where I am able or feel comfortable experimenting with other people, and I feel like if I was better able to seperate these feelings it would help me to work out my sexuality.

[Ggrand]

Hello Stuck_in_the_closet...

A warm welcome to our forums...

I want to reply to you, but didn’t know how to..

I looked through the web and came across this description of different forms of attraction..I hope it can help you..

I found it on a web page...The University of North Carolina..

There are many different types of attraction, including:

Sexual attraction... attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s).

Romantic attraction...attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.

Aesthetic attraction....occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction.

Sensual attraction...the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling.

Emotional attraction...the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships.

Intellectual attraction...the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, such as engaging in conversation with them, “picking their brain,” and it has more to do with what or how a person thinks instead of the person themselves.

Please talk here anytime you feel up to it...I’m sure one of our wonderful members with more knowledge then myself will pop in to chat with you..

My kindest thoughts..

Grandy..

[Croix]

Dear Stuck_in_the_closet~

Grandy has given you what appears to be the definitive answer 🙂 -and in fact you have had some pretty useful thoughts given in your other thread and another conversation.

I guess I can only look at it from my own point of view, and your not wishing to experiment with others very much struck a chord. Maybe I'm conservative or not daring but I find myself remembering that others can have feelings too, and while some might just shrug off an intimate encounter without a thought, some might be like me and take it to heart.

I'm well aware that sex binds, and as a result it can be very hard, at least initially, to tell difference between falling in lust and falling in love.

So may I suggest that an answer - at least for some -might be to look at the person first, see their character, is there kindness, do you greatly enjoy their company -and all the rest that goes with trust and caring. Do they seem to reciprocate these feelings? If that is the case then ask yourself how you feel about being intimate.

If a decided yes to those questions then finding out if you want a relationship will be pretty obvious. Then the only question is do they feel the same spark for you.

It is always a risk, but exploring yourselves together is worth it, it can take a lifetime.

Does that seem to make any sense?

Croix

[geoff]

Hello Stuck_in_the_closet, a good question and good replies.

Well to feel comfortable experimenting with others is when you feel as though you want to go out with someone, because if you have a sexual attraction to them, then you're embarrassed to even ask them out, this applies differently to some people, but to any person who is slightly shy, this is what happens, and you may procrastinate.

If you are sexually attracted to them, this doesn't mean your personality will be the same as theirs, the chances are, that you're not the only one interested in them, while if are attracted, then you've watched how they behave and what you like about them, totally different.

Whoever you like talking to could be an attraction because you both like the same ideas, whereas if you are sexually attracted maybe for the wrong reason, ignoring their personality.

Not everybody wants the best looking person because they will have to cope with all the other people trying to have them and this could prove to be an issue.

Geoff.

[sbella02]

Hey Stuck_in_the_closet,

Thanks for your post, and I know this is a fairly late reply but I think I may be able to offer some further insight, as this is something I've discussed and researched quite a bit. Attraction can simultaneously be magical, terrifying, exciting, and confusing, so I know how you feel - it's often hard to differentiate between different forms of it. For instance, sexual attraction comes in many different forms and, as I'm learning, so does the lack of it.

I must say, Ggrand has found a wonderful resource in the list of types of attraction. It may be helpful for you to conduct some research of your own too, just to see the broad range of resources and explanations that are out there.

Specifically, here are some examples of sexual attraction:

Sexual attraction may feel like a desire to be with somebody - to kiss them, hold hands with them, engage in intercourse etc. It may just feel like a desire to be physically intimate with them, things like kissing, cuddling or holding hands, but without the need to engage in intercourse. It may feel like a churning feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see somebody or hear their name, or it may feel like sexual fantasies or thoughts.

If you feel like the attraction you're feeling is not sexual, you could always research the asexual community and see if you can relate to any asexual experiences. For people who struggle to identify whether or not they've had a crush before, or if what they're feeling is sexual attraction, I find this can actually be a good starting point, particularly Reddit.

It's okay to feel like you're not comfortable or ready to be experimenting with other people, that's perfectly normal. There's no right or wrong time to experiment, and you don't even have to experiment at all if you never feel the need to. Sexuality is a very personal experience; the only person who should be dictating how that experience goes is you. Sexuality can also be fluid and prone to change, so be patient and allow yourself time to explore it and let it develop.

I wish you well, and please feel free to chat some more if you'd like!

All the best, SB