Demigirl maybe? Only dysphoria with part of my body

[MouseGarnet]

I am 14, almost 15, and I am biologically female. I identify as panromantic asexual, and I recently started dating a girl.

For most of my life, I have identified as female. I am comfortable with having a female body, in fact I love wearing dresses and skirts, having long hair, giggling with my friends, I'm pretty feminine overall. However, I don't like having a vagina. I hate getting my period (I realise no one likes their period, but I promise it's different) and reading, watching or even talking about sex scenes or childbirth my lower abdomen does the same thing every time. It's like it shakes itself out in disgust. I find having a vagina unnecessary, like it's an extra spleen or something else that's equally useless.

I am fine being a girl, in fact I have this really nice bodycon dress that accentuates my curves, and it makes me feel really nice. I have recently begun researching the idea of 'demigirl' but I don't even know whether what I'm feeling is actually dysphoria. Please somebody help, I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about this so the internet is my only hope.

[MaxineC]

Hi MouseGarnet, it's great that you're coming online to chat and seek support, but I would really advise against only using the internet for working through what you're feeling. There are so many labels out there these days and I feel they often give less clarity rather than more. There's an old saying, labels are for clothes not people. I know labels can be comforting when you're feeling really alone and not knowing what's going on, and you just want something to explain it all.

Please don't take this as patronising, but the fact that you are still 14 is a big thing to consider. Some people are lucky and breeze through their teenage years knowing exactly who they are and with a strong sense of identity. But for some of us, that process is not so easy and it can get really confusing. Especially when society has such strict ideas around what boys should be like, and what girls should be like.

It's perfectly normal in your teenage years to be really uncomfortable with parts of, or even all of, your body, and to be ambivalent or not interested in sex. There are so many changes happening, it's like being in the middle of a thunderstorm.

What I really like about your post is that you seem to have a really strong sense of who you are and what makes you feel good. There is absolutely no pressure for you to do or be anything that you don't want to be. There's no right or wrong answer, and no big decisions to be made, just take each day as it comes.