conflicted

[Kara01]

Hi I am at a very difficult time in my life as I want start a discussion with wife about transitioning to a woman.

I have always felt female and wanted to be female but in my generation this would never have been accepted or respected.

I have been married to a wonderful woman for 39 years and I do love her and my children and grandchildren.

I desperately don't want to hurt anyone but I am struggling more than ever with my identity and I don't know how much longer that I can keep my secret from everyone.

Everyday I feel I am just lying to myself and I don't know how much longer I can do this for.

Every time I see a woman of my age I just ask myself why couldn't it have been me that was born female and not trapped in my male body.

I am very concerned about my current state of mind as I can only think about this issue and nothing else.

I started to cross dress from a very early age and only ever felt a complete person when I was dressed in women's clothes.

I am desperate to try and move on with my life but am terrified of the damage that I will cause to my family.

[Jo8049]

Hi Kara and LilyLane '

Its been a while now since I stuck my head in . Hope the new year is going very well for you both . The last 12 months have been huge for you and me to . Settling into the phase of getting back to my normal life as Jo of course . I had surgery in late August but gender dysphoria kept at it so got the final surgery in late December and " wow " is all I can say now . Just started getting trained at a new job working in a public space and I was a bit scared of how that would go but the biggest problem is learning the computer system in place and the fact the learning makes me quite tired . Life is mostly between awesome and pretty good .

Hugest hugs and much love from LD and me xxxxx

[Lillylane]

Hi Jo! Hi Kara!

Thanks for the update Jo, it is wonderful to hear that your surgery went well and it sounds like so much has happened over the last few months! I’m sorry I haven’t been on the forums as much recently.

A new job sounds exciting, though I totally understand the steep learning curve starting somewhere new! I hope you’re enjoying it as you settle in. I started a new job several months ago and spent the first few weeks thinking I was going to be fired because it was so much to learn and I felt like I was so slow! But now I love it.

Big hugs to you both and hoping things are progressing well for you too Kara!

Lots of love, and thanks again for all your kindness and support xx

LL