Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

Soggy_Oatmeal I'm questioning my sexuality!!!
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm feeling really anxious about posting here but I've been thinking of my sexuality for at least two years now. I'm in a friend group of people who understand themselves and I feel like I'm behind. I'm still young but I like knowing what is ahea... View more

Hi, I'm feeling really anxious about posting here but I've been thinking of my sexuality for at least two years now. I'm in a friend group of people who understand themselves and I feel like I'm behind. I'm still young but I like knowing what is ahead of me I worry too much and constantly wonder whether I like girls? boys? or no one at all! I'm so confused since I feel I don't understand what attraction feels like. Do I just think they're pretty or do I actually feel attraction towards them? I'm honestly here looking for support and similar experiences as I have come out as queer to few people and usually cope with feelings of confusion through humour yet I feel I'm leaning towards bisexuality: they/them and she/her or aromantic/asexuality which are both very different yet I feel I relate to those two the most. This might not even be understandable but I feel it was worth a try!

CJ_bi Hi there, wanna chat?
  • replies: 6

Hello whoever may be reading this, I thought I would start this thread because I wanted to talk to someone in general. I have also been having troubles figuring out whether I am bisexual or gay. I have faked crushes on boys to make me look more strai... View more

Hello whoever may be reading this, I thought I would start this thread because I wanted to talk to someone in general. I have also been having troubles figuring out whether I am bisexual or gay. I have faked crushes on boys to make me look more straight and I have had real crushes on girls, but I have actually had 1 proper crush on a boy. Any thoughts? I would appreciate anyone to talk to...

Lyndis So...I came out
  • replies: 4

I recently came out to my father as bisexual, and his reaction...was alright, I suppose. He seemed to not really care, so now I'm kinda worried as to what he thinks of me. Any ideas of what to do?

I recently came out to my father as bisexual, and his reaction...was alright, I suppose. He seemed to not really care, so now I'm kinda worried as to what he thinks of me. Any ideas of what to do?

Oliver_c how do i come out?
  • replies: 4

hi. my name is Oliver... wow that feels weird? but good to say, i am a trans boy my pronouns are he/they and im 13. i dont know how to come out. its scary. i want to bind. i want to start T or even just hormone blockers. but i am not out ot my family... View more

hi. my name is Oliver... wow that feels weird? but good to say, i am a trans boy my pronouns are he/they and im 13. i dont know how to come out. its scary. i want to bind. i want to start T or even just hormone blockers. but i am not out ot my family yet and i honestly dont think i can come out to them. i came out to my mum as pan about 9 months ago and she fully accepted me. my brother and dad now know but they dont really care. but i know my family i know my mum she wont understand the whole trans thing and i cant even imagine talking to my brother or dad once i come out, my relationship would be so unatural with my dad after and my brother is transphobic. i hate being trans, why arent i cis? i was meant to be a boy anyway. i was the first 'girl' born in my family for 90 years!! why me why was i the one to come out the wrong gender

Mudcakes Want to but scared to share my bisexuality on social media.
  • replies: 21

So basically my Mum knows I’m Bi. My “best friend” does. (Kinda complicated) And two fellow lgbt friends that I’m yet to speak in person (One at school, one not) some people in a private group chat. Somedays I want to post stuff you know? Quotes or s... View more

So basically my Mum knows I’m Bi. My “best friend” does. (Kinda complicated) And two fellow lgbt friends that I’m yet to speak in person (One at school, one not) some people in a private group chat. Somedays I want to post stuff you know? Quotes or something. I have pins my Mum got me but I’m scared to wear them. I guess some days I just want to share on facebook or instagram a picture but then I feel scared. I also feel like it’s a private thing no one really needs to know except close friends, close family and obviously future partners, but at the same time every now and then I just want to. Any advice on if I should or if I should wait until I’m really ready and not feeling scared. In my other threads I have spoken about my current school experience. So this might make that worse too. I don’t know I just some days what to just post and smile.

Gay_westie Gay and hating it
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I came out about eight years ago while i was married to a woman, we share three kids together so its been a very long eight years and sometimes i dont know how i got threw it. I was living in Country Victoria and wanted to move to Melbourne i... View more

Hi all, I came out about eight years ago while i was married to a woman, we share three kids together so its been a very long eight years and sometimes i dont know how i got threw it. I was living in Country Victoria and wanted to move to Melbourne in hopes of making a new life for myself, make heaps of new friends and even my first boyfriend. Three years on since moving to Melbourne, i have made no friends and finding a boyfriend is impossible, everyone is either in an open relationship or just want to use you for that few minutes. I am very shy and am very anxious when meeting guys, the last half a dozen guys ive been going to catch up with i have cancelled last minute as i just think i am wastingmy time, or i just think they are way out of my league so i dont bother. Ive always been a bigger guy and i hate the way i look, i will lose heaps of weight then it just creeps back on again. Most gay men expect you to have a gym membership, hard body or be a hung power top. I really hate being gay and really wish i hadn't of left my family. Im nearing 40 now and i can just see myself being alone forever. I constantly get messages online from random guys saying im fat, bald, old, i really hate myself sometimes. Then there is the thought of being with a guy who has had dozens and even hundreds of sexual partners which really makes my feel yuck and i get turned off by, i dont know if i am really jealous or i just find it wrong, but i definatly couldn't date a guy who has been with everyone. Is it just me or can others relate? Westie

Kat_Kai1067 How do I deal with transphobic parents?
  • replies: 5

I came out to them a couple of months ago. At first, I thought they accepted me but then it got downhill from there. They started calling me a mistake. They said I was born a girl not a boy so stop this nonsense. They said that it's probably a trend ... View more

I came out to them a couple of months ago. At first, I thought they accepted me but then it got downhill from there. They started calling me a mistake. They said I was born a girl not a boy so stop this nonsense. They said that it's probably a trend but it's not. Please help.

uhhhhhh how can I start transitioning
  • replies: 14

Hello, I am 15, i recently figured out that I am ftm transgender and I've only told a couple of friends who I know are also transgender and my mother. My mum didn't really know how to react. it wasn't much of a conversation but I'm pretty sure she wa... View more

Hello, I am 15, i recently figured out that I am ftm transgender and I've only told a couple of friends who I know are also transgender and my mother. My mum didn't really know how to react. it wasn't much of a conversation but I'm pretty sure she was supportive. it was a really tough conversation for me since I'm already really shy and embarrassed about my existence around my mum lol. She's trying to get me to see a therapist which is nice but she won't let me change my name yet. i want to ask if I can start hormone therapy but I'm so scared or being rejected. anyone know any tips on how I can build up enough courage to ask

Wifeymum What am I thinking!?
  • replies: 2

So I’m in a pretty tough situation at the moment and I need some help understanding how I’m feeling... I am a woman, married to a man for the past 10 years, we have a child together. We have had a pretty rocky marriage but in short things aren’t too ... View more

So I’m in a pretty tough situation at the moment and I need some help understanding how I’m feeling... I am a woman, married to a man for the past 10 years, we have a child together. We have had a pretty rocky marriage but in short things aren’t too bad at the moment. I met a woman at work who I had a connection with, before I ever even spoke with her, just seeing her made me feel weak, jittery, flushed and I didn’t know wether to look at her or run away. I have NEVER felt like this before towards anyone, not even my own husband, let alone another woman. Not once in my life have I ever considered myself attracted to women, but this particular one... I cannot even explain the feeling I got from her. I also still have no idea what her sexual orientation is... I cannot get her off my mind, I can’t explain my feelings and I never felt More drawn to a person who I’ve spoken no more than a few words to. What on earth could be happening in my brain (or heart) right now? What steps coild I take to explore this without putting my career and/or marriage and family at risk? All I do know is that I can’t do nothing...