Sexuality and gender identity

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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 216

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

Oliver_c how do i come out?
  • replies: 4

hi. my name is Oliver... wow that feels weird? but good to say, i am a trans boy my pronouns are he/they and im 13. i dont know how to come out. its scary. i want to bind. i want to start T or even just hormone blockers. but i am not out ot my family... View more

hi. my name is Oliver... wow that feels weird? but good to say, i am a trans boy my pronouns are he/they and im 13. i dont know how to come out. its scary. i want to bind. i want to start T or even just hormone blockers. but i am not out ot my family yet and i honestly dont think i can come out to them. i came out to my mum as pan about 9 months ago and she fully accepted me. my brother and dad now know but they dont really care. but i know my family i know my mum she wont understand the whole trans thing and i cant even imagine talking to my brother or dad once i come out, my relationship would be so unatural with my dad after and my brother is transphobic. i hate being trans, why arent i cis? i was meant to be a boy anyway. i was the first 'girl' born in my family for 90 years!! why me why was i the one to come out the wrong gender

Mudcakes Want to but scared to share my bisexuality on social media.
  • replies: 21

So basically my Mum knows I’m Bi. My “best friend” does. (Kinda complicated) And two fellow lgbt friends that I’m yet to speak in person (One at school, one not) some people in a private group chat. Somedays I want to post stuff you know? Quotes or s... View more

So basically my Mum knows I’m Bi. My “best friend” does. (Kinda complicated) And two fellow lgbt friends that I’m yet to speak in person (One at school, one not) some people in a private group chat. Somedays I want to post stuff you know? Quotes or something. I have pins my Mum got me but I’m scared to wear them. I guess some days I just want to share on facebook or instagram a picture but then I feel scared. I also feel like it’s a private thing no one really needs to know except close friends, close family and obviously future partners, but at the same time every now and then I just want to. Any advice on if I should or if I should wait until I’m really ready and not feeling scared. In my other threads I have spoken about my current school experience. So this might make that worse too. I don’t know I just some days what to just post and smile.

Gay_westie Gay and hating it
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I came out about eight years ago while i was married to a woman, we share three kids together so its been a very long eight years and sometimes i dont know how i got threw it. I was living in Country Victoria and wanted to move to Melbourne i... View more

Hi all, I came out about eight years ago while i was married to a woman, we share three kids together so its been a very long eight years and sometimes i dont know how i got threw it. I was living in Country Victoria and wanted to move to Melbourne in hopes of making a new life for myself, make heaps of new friends and even my first boyfriend. Three years on since moving to Melbourne, i have made no friends and finding a boyfriend is impossible, everyone is either in an open relationship or just want to use you for that few minutes. I am very shy and am very anxious when meeting guys, the last half a dozen guys ive been going to catch up with i have cancelled last minute as i just think i am wastingmy time, or i just think they are way out of my league so i dont bother. Ive always been a bigger guy and i hate the way i look, i will lose heaps of weight then it just creeps back on again. Most gay men expect you to have a gym membership, hard body or be a hung power top. I really hate being gay and really wish i hadn't of left my family. Im nearing 40 now and i can just see myself being alone forever. I constantly get messages online from random guys saying im fat, bald, old, i really hate myself sometimes. Then there is the thought of being with a guy who has had dozens and even hundreds of sexual partners which really makes my feel yuck and i get turned off by, i dont know if i am really jealous or i just find it wrong, but i definatly couldn't date a guy who has been with everyone. Is it just me or can others relate? Westie

Kat_Kai1067 How do I deal with transphobic parents?
  • replies: 5

I came out to them a couple of months ago. At first, I thought they accepted me but then it got downhill from there. They started calling me a mistake. They said I was born a girl not a boy so stop this nonsense. They said that it's probably a trend ... View more

I came out to them a couple of months ago. At first, I thought they accepted me but then it got downhill from there. They started calling me a mistake. They said I was born a girl not a boy so stop this nonsense. They said that it's probably a trend but it's not. Please help.

uhhhhhh how can I start transitioning
  • replies: 14

Hello, I am 15, i recently figured out that I am ftm transgender and I've only told a couple of friends who I know are also transgender and my mother. My mum didn't really know how to react. it wasn't much of a conversation but I'm pretty sure she wa... View more

Hello, I am 15, i recently figured out that I am ftm transgender and I've only told a couple of friends who I know are also transgender and my mother. My mum didn't really know how to react. it wasn't much of a conversation but I'm pretty sure she was supportive. it was a really tough conversation for me since I'm already really shy and embarrassed about my existence around my mum lol. She's trying to get me to see a therapist which is nice but she won't let me change my name yet. i want to ask if I can start hormone therapy but I'm so scared or being rejected. anyone know any tips on how I can build up enough courage to ask

Wifeymum What am I thinking!?
  • replies: 2

So I’m in a pretty tough situation at the moment and I need some help understanding how I’m feeling... I am a woman, married to a man for the past 10 years, we have a child together. We have had a pretty rocky marriage but in short things aren’t too ... View more

So I’m in a pretty tough situation at the moment and I need some help understanding how I’m feeling... I am a woman, married to a man for the past 10 years, we have a child together. We have had a pretty rocky marriage but in short things aren’t too bad at the moment. I met a woman at work who I had a connection with, before I ever even spoke with her, just seeing her made me feel weak, jittery, flushed and I didn’t know wether to look at her or run away. I have NEVER felt like this before towards anyone, not even my own husband, let alone another woman. Not once in my life have I ever considered myself attracted to women, but this particular one... I cannot even explain the feeling I got from her. I also still have no idea what her sexual orientation is... I cannot get her off my mind, I can’t explain my feelings and I never felt More drawn to a person who I’ve spoken no more than a few words to. What on earth could be happening in my brain (or heart) right now? What steps coild I take to explore this without putting my career and/or marriage and family at risk? All I do know is that I can’t do nothing...

_Sammmy_ I don't know how I feel anymore
  • replies: 1

I know that I'm pan, but I don't really know what my gender is anymore. I was confident that I was non-binary these past few weeks. I've had a three day long gender crisis before, but now I think it's happening again. The boys in my class really aren... View more

I know that I'm pan, but I don't really know what my gender is anymore. I was confident that I was non-binary these past few weeks. I've had a three day long gender crisis before, but now I think it's happening again. The boys in my class really aren't helping either. They keep commenting on how there's only two genders and that being non-binary doesn't make sense, because they and them are plurals, making me think about this some more. It's making me feel so pressured to be either a girl or a boy, but I don't feel like either. Is anyone able to give me some advice?

Buddy_Pal_Guy am i seriously bisexual or just an idiot
  • replies: 4

i am 19 and have never been in a relationship - furthermore, i have the life experience of a nun. which doesn't really help me out. i am not sure if i am bisexual. i know there are a few ways to find out. but i am far too frightened of rejection. the... View more

i am 19 and have never been in a relationship - furthermore, i have the life experience of a nun. which doesn't really help me out. i am not sure if i am bisexual. i know there are a few ways to find out. but i am far too frightened of rejection. the only thing worse than being rejected would be that the other person actually goes through with it, as i'm also frightened of intimacy. i am conflicted. i worry that i am only having these thoughts because i crave attention (or whatever else a psychoanalyst would say). i've always felt open to dating any kind of person of any gender. i definitely like men. do i like women? i definitely think about being with women and picture myself with women, but i'm not sure if i actually am genuinely thinking or if i'm just pretending to think about it for attention (even though i wouldn't share these thoughts with anyone, so it's not like i'd get any attention anyways). i just don't want to be a phony or anything. and besides, it would only make my life more complicated. it would be much easier to just ignore this and carry on. but i've been thinking about it for years and it's really starting to puzzle me. anyways that's my stream of conciousness, if anyone has anything useful or interesting to say, i'd be glad to hear it. or even if you don't have anything interesting to say i will still be glad to hear whatever you share.

LittleMissAlice I Feel like I'm Fake
  • replies: 32

Hello there! This is my first time doing this... Um, I guess I'll just start? Hellooooooo, my name is Marie, I've been transgender for a while now (maybe 2 years? I don't know) but recently I've been feeling very Down In The Dumps about it all. I thi... View more

Hello there! This is my first time doing this... Um, I guess I'll just start? Hellooooooo, my name is Marie, I've been transgender for a while now (maybe 2 years? I don't know) but recently I've been feeling very Down In The Dumps about it all. I think it just randomly kicked in that, while I'm female in my head, I'll never, ever be able to be fully, biologically female, which is a bit depressing, obviously. I've just been feeling like I'll always be fake, no matter what I do. That I'll never have the right experiences, the right body, the right anything to be, I don't know, correct. Theres also the realisation that it's done. There's no second chances or second lives or anything, I had one shot, and this one stupid little chromosome screwed it up. I'll never have that chance again, which is also incredibly depressing So yeah Im just feeling like I'll always be fake and I'm not really sure how to deal with those emotions, and I usually operate better when someone else tells me how to do stuff lol Thanks, probably? - Marie xo

Closettrans Just turned 45 and cant hide it anymore, im gender fluid and want embrace it. Where do i start
  • replies: 4

So, i just turned 45 and in a loving marriage of 12 years to a woman i love dearly. We have a miracle ivf son of 6 years old and things are ok. But since around the age of 12 i have felt different, i am a male but love everything feminine. The clothe... View more

So, i just turned 45 and in a loving marriage of 12 years to a woman i love dearly. We have a miracle ivf son of 6 years old and things are ok. But since around the age of 12 i have felt different, i am a male but love everything feminine. The clothes, the makeup, the heels... OMG the heels. Year after year i have had "crossdressing periods" and episodes of buying and purging clothes to the point i was nearly declared bankrupt. Then i met my wife who probably saved me from god knows what. I have maintained a great relationship and the sex is fantastic but the attration to my feminine side has grown stronger and stronger. Now since turning 45 and in the washup of lockdown i discovered i feel most comfortable when im in female clothes or styles. I now want to embrace the feminine side of me and want to be truthful to myself and my wife. Now here is the problem, my wife despises lying, to the point she will break a friendship. Im worried about how she will react, and how she will take it. I have also developed an attraction to transexual women, to the point of watching porn, and considering experimenting with a trans woman. Now i would never cheat on my wife, but i feel like i am with all the sneaking around. Please help me clear the fog in my head and lift the weight off me.