40, male and questioning if I'm actually gay after all???

[Grant1]

Hi there,

I've always identified as gay but, at 28 I had the first idea that that might not have been the case. It's never felt quite right being with Men. I've had fantasies about being with Women but for many reasons, have never had the courage to pursue Women. I think it's fear of rejection/humiliation and of the unknown.

I've buried my head in the sand for many years. I've had long periods of time not dating at all, eventually going back to sleeping with/dating Men. It's familiar. After 5 years of being single I got back on the dating scene this year. I dated a Woman briefly, but there was no connection. I have also dated a couple of guys since then. These experiences haven't been particularly enjoyable.

I can't keep ignoring the issue and can not be with Men anymore, it just doesn't feel right.

A lot has changed in my world in the second half of my 30s. I'm much happier in myself, have discovered a comfort/authenticity within myself as a Man that was missing earlier in life. I'm settled in my own home and my career is going very well. My self-esteem is in the best shape it ever has been and I'm generally happy.

The last piece of the puzzle is working out this sexuality conundrum.

I know what I need to do and that is date more Women but, it's difficult at my age to face a different dating world if that makes sense?

There aren't many out there that seem to have had this question, it always seems to be the opposite way around, straight then realise they're gay. Close friends and family know that this has been issue for me for some time but don't know how to help.

I have sought help before but the minute they hear 'gay' they immediately go down the avenue of getting me to accept being gay. They don't get it! I would happily be gay if that was undoubtedly my way but, I really don't think it is.

Any help from others that may be experiencing a similar issue or guidance to a professional that can help me navigate my way through this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Grant.

[Unbeliever]

Damn Grant.

I couldn't have put that better myself. I completely agree.

Good luck on your upcoming adventure.