Sexuality and gender identity

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Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums

replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

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04-03-2025

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LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

by MsPurple •

Blue Voices Member•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

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22-08-2017

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224 unread

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LONELY

replies: 4

Hi I am writing this as concern for my son. He has come out 12mths ago at the ae of 19. He was raised in a homophobic environment and had suffered sever anxiety and old. since coming out his mental state has improved and he is was very happy and he was well supported. He is been over seas for 5 months working and holidaying and has come back to do a 7 week course. BUT he has come back to literally NO FRIENDS.he did decided to leave the past behind and has done volunteer work within the LGBT community. He has also attended some get together but found them to be very clickie and not welcoming. He is usually very happy and a very giving person. Adelaide doesn't have a big LGTB community and i can see a spiral fall into depression he is giving up. He has tried apps as well but gets the run around. We have tried everything but he is so lonely. HELP

Gay support

replies: 4

Hi all, Ive just recently moved to the Sunshine coast and because I have moved this has worsened my anxiety and depression. I'm currently studying and work 6 days a week. Im finding my self sink deeper and deeper into a hole. Recently I have started to think about what the point is of living. Im not trying to seek attention, but I find it hard to talk to my family about my relationship issues including work and studies. is there anything i can do it get out of this state. im desperate now, im trying to run and its helping a little but i feel like im sinking. Thanks in advance

UNSURE ABOUT TITLE

replies: 4

Hi All, I am a married 38 year old male with 2 children. I am currently in a mental health facility dealing with my bi polar and some depression and anxiety and substance abuse issues which have arose from me not being able to deal with my problems. Reason for my post here is to get some advice on another issue I have, as I’ve said I am married but I have a huge attraction to pre op transsexual ladies. I have explored these fantasies and slept with a few over the last few years but also am still very attracted to women.... I guess I am unsure of my sexuality not knowing if I am gay, just an adventurous straight guy, bi?? i would love to here from anyone in similar circumstances to give any feedback....

My Boyfriend May Have Already Lost Interest in Having Sex with Me

replies: 1

Hi, Does the sex slowly fade away the longer you are in a relationship with someone or is that just me? I don't know much about relationship as this is only my second relationship and I've been with him for 2 years. My previous relationship was with a bad person and that only lasted for 3 months. I know that my boyfriend still feels sexual as he has a collection of porn on his computer (which I caught twice because he accidentally uploaded them on our shared document folders) but he rarely wants to do anything sexual with me anymore. We used to have lots of sexy times together but after I moved in with him he seems to have lost his interest. And I've started watching porn again recently. Don't get me wrong, I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. But I'm kind of worried that he might have lost interest in me. he is a great guy but the only thing he lacks of is that one part. When I was depressed I used to hook up with random strangers but not until I am already in a relationship. I don't want to repeat the same mistake again and cheat on my boyfriend just because he has lost interest in me sexually. This makes me feel really anxious. Help.

Friendship/Feelings

replies: 2

Hi New to this forum but really struggling with this but i do not have anyone close to talk to about this So I met a girl a few months ago. we have the same interests, we get along extremely well and i've developed strong feelings for this person, except they are not of the same sexual orientation which i've had no choice but to accept (which is okay). very recently we caught up and all of a sudden she got real angry with me and doesn't seem to have much interest in me as a friend anymore. when quizzed about weather this is true she says every things fine and what happened wasn't a big deal but I've just got this gut feeling its not. what should i do from here? I really don't want this friendship to end because i care about her so much but i'm worried its not going to be the same anymore

I got hurt: Transgender woman.

replies: 4

Hello. I have not posted before . My situation is I am getting depressed because some people spread gossip about me which was stating I was a "danger to child safety." I am transgender and for this to be done to me is very bad especially in a small t... View more

Mental Health Week 9th to 16th October

replies: 26

Hi everyone. It's a tough time at the moment. The amount of ill educated opinion being thrown around about our lives. A group of conservative , some right wing, some Christian fundamentalist, making a decision on our behalf whether we have the same human rights they do. What else can we do during mental health week to support our community of gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, queer, intersex, cisgender, asexual and HIV+ brothers and sisters? How can we feel comfortable enough to reach out for help? Can we spread the word of our plight and have the discussion about the impact on our mental health? ABC and SBS usually have some amazing content during mental health week, there might be a particular show that you choose to watch with your family that conveys a message you feel you couldn't or it could be a stepping stone to a discussion. Is there something you want to say on the forum here just for the hell of saying it? Please do, we're here to love and be loved. What will you do during mental health week? What do you want others to know during mental health week? Paul

40, male and questioning if I'm actually gay after all???

replies: 10

Hi there, I've always identified as gay but, at 28 I had the first idea that that might not have been the case. It's never felt quite right being with Men. I've had fantasies about being with Women but for many reasons, have never had the courage to pursue Women. I think it's fear of rejection/humiliation and of the unknown. I've buried my head in the sand for many years. I've had long periods of time not dating at all, eventually going back to sleeping with/dating Men. It's familiar. After 5 years of being single I got back on the dating scene this year. I dated a Woman briefly, but there was no connection. I have also dated a couple of guys since then. These experiences haven't been particularly enjoyable. I can't keep ignoring the issue and can not be with Men anymore, it just doesn't feel right. A lot has changed in my world in the second half of my 30s. I'm much happier in myself, have discovered a comfort/authenticity within myself as a Man that was missing earlier in life. I'm settled in my own home and my career is going very well. My self-esteem is in the best shape it ever has been and I'm generally happy. The last piece of the puzzle is working out this sexuality conundrum. I know what I need to do and that is date more Women but, it's difficult at my age to face a different dating world if that makes sense? There aren't many out there that seem to have had this question, it always seems to be the opposite way around, straight then realise they're gay. Close friends and family know that this has been issue for me for some time but don't know how to help. I have sought help before but the minute they hear 'gay' they immediately go down the avenue of getting me to accept being gay. They don't get it! I would happily be gay if that was undoubtedly my way but, I really don't think it is. Any help from others that may be experiencing a similar issue or guidance to a professional that can help me navigate my way through this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Grant.

Could I be lesbian? Or bisexual?

replies: 7

I wonder if I haven’t met the right person. Male or female. I don’t know how to meet people as I face depression and only stick to myself. I used to have very strong and close best friends (female) who I would talk to and confide in all the time. Now I don’t. And I really miss it. I think about both females and males. Though because I don’t do much I am not sure how I would meet anyone at all. I feel as though girls care a lot and I can be closer to them. I don’t know what I feel to be honest. I feel alone. And I feel as though I need someone. There all the time. Someone who gets me for me. And vice versa. I don’t even know where to start as I limit myself to only my family. How do I find out about this? I am very nervous too. Only a young girl.

I don't know what I am.

replies: 5

I don't know what I am. But I do. I'm a 16-year-old, straight, white, privileged... girl. A girl. A girl whose wardrobe consists of mens t-shirts in the size "medium". A girl who craves to chop off her collarbone length, curly, brown hair. A girl who can understand other girls who look up to celebrities. To Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Emma Watson. Because the girl looks up to famous people, too. Wants to be like famous people, too. Wants to be like Cole Sprouse, Benedict Cumberbatch, Eddie Redmayne, Ezra Miller. My entire life, I have looked in the mirror, and not felt myself. I have walked around in a body, in a bubble, spaced out and wondering why. I got my first ever full-length mirror the other day. I look into it, wearing only my underwear, and realise that under the baggy t-shirt and ill-fitting jeans I do have a figure. But then I pull the jeans on, throw on whatever t-shirt mildly resembles clean, and head out to see my mates. My friends. I have three of them, my boyfriend being one. He doesn't exactly act like a 'straight guy'; but I love him, and he loves me, for whatever I am. My other two mates, both guys, not that it matters, are really chill as well. I'm glad that I have them. Because between running up to my room from the yelling, giving the last of my money to dad, looking in the mirror, seeing someone else, and then laying in bed for days… I need them. I don't know what I am. I don't expect anyone to read this, with the exception of myself. I hope that, in a few years, I can come back and read this and say, "kid, I know what you are.". I find comfort in labels. And whether that label be "straight girl" or otherwise, I look forward to the day I can look in the mirror and smile back at my reflection, because it is MY reflection, me, and I know what I am.

Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums replies: 0

LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place replies: 224

LONELY replies: 4

Gay support replies: 4

UNSURE ABOUT TITLE replies: 4

My Boyfriend May Have Already Lost Interest in Having Sex with Me replies: 1

Friendship/Feelings replies: 2

I got hurt: Transgender woman. replies: 4

Mental Health Week 9th to 16th October replies: 26

40, male and questioning if I'm actually gay after all??? replies: 10

Could I be lesbian? Or bisexual? replies: 7

I don't know what I am. replies: 5