Sexuality and gender identity

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Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums

replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

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04-03-2025

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LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

by MsPurple •

Blue Voices Member•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

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22-08-2017

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224 unread

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safe alcohol treatment rehabs

replies: 1

Hey all, I haven't been here in a while. Glad this forum is still open. I've been trying to get a grip on my drinking for months and starting to despair. My friends and partner are all pushing me to do something about it but I'm worried that rehabs won't be good places for a trans person. (Also worried about costs and other things). Just thought I would ask here if anyone who is trans or gender diverse has experience with rehabs (I'm in Melb) and how you found them? Thanks, Rayne

So what am i,,?

replies: 23

Hi all. Im a single 42yr male..always felt different never fit in,self harm and drug abuse have been the norm for me.I never could relate to females in the sexual sense but always found em to be good friends..i could never sleep with any till the age of 26 and that was purely cause the woman knew i was struggling..im an average looking fella i keep in shape am no brad pitt but not half bad..all my life both gay and straight men and women keep asking if im gay.why do they always ask me this do they see sumthn i dont..,? I have found i find beutiful people attractive not necesarilly either..i do find men attractive but could neva find a way to be with a guy either.i would always find myself walking out of the room b4 any thing could happen btween either girl or guy.like i said i neva had sex till i was 26yrs.i have no kids nor friends as most have gone there own way but i have always been a shy person and awkward around people.but am pretty sure i have a gay preference,,so whats wrong with me,?? im fine physically but up stairs just blocks me from bing with any1..im a good person i think..so why am i so isolated,,?

Need advise on supporting my son.

replies: 9

Hi everybody !! I am new here, and really just would like to talk to somebody to exchange thoughts. Have been reading through many of the sections on here and have read many helpful comments. We have been living , or better still are living as a very happy and lucky family. Hubby (which is me ) a wonderful wife and to wonderful children, one daughter and one son. Surprise, surprise - two days ago our son sat us down and told us that he is gay. First I have to say that I have absolutely no problem with that, and from this day forward he will still have the same support and help with anything he needs like he always had. I do understand it takes a little of adjusting ones thoughts and future plans, but nothing really changed. The biggest problem for me going through my mind for the last two days is , that I was not there for him the last couple of years when he obviously went through horrible times sorting out his one thoughts about his sexuality. We normally talk about everything, but this obviously was very hard for him. All I need help with is , how can I make up for that lost time. Its all still very new to me and all I really want is for him not to get hurt by society. Any chat or advise is really greatly appreciated.

Bad day

replies: 3

Just having a bad day. A life long sufferer of depression some days it is so overwhelming. Today is one of them. I’m not suicidal just downright exhausted from the whirlpool of negative thoughts that flood my mind. Will I ever feel “normal” or at least some joy in my life. A little about me. I’m a 53 year old gay man who although have been out for over 30 years I have never felt comfortable with my sexuality. I’ve had only one relationship in my life and that ended 24 years ago. No dates or any romance since. It isn’t from a lack of trying. Hence I am bitterly lonely. I have no real friends and thus the loneliness is ten fold. I long for connection. Anyways i am rambling a little. Just feeling terribly lonely right now. Thanks for listening.

Transgender ?

replies: 7

I came out sometime earlier this year and I don’t think my parents took me seriously saying it’s just “being a teenager” and now I’m beginning to think that way too, I still feel dysphoria but not as often and I often just feel numb and weird, whenever I think about what I used to want I just don’t feel the same anymore. I don’t know if i was just going through a phase or not because I still feel all wrong in my body but it just feels like nothing really and I am “just being a teenager”. I really don’t know what to do anymore

I guess i could use some advice and help if ya have time.

replies: 1

Okay so I'm Amelia and 16, I have Rather recently started dating my rather new friend and I feel worried. I have been depressed for awhile trying to get out of bed and talk to people even if i don't have much support from parents and family to a point where i don't feel comfortable talking EVER to them about my sexual preference and to add to it a lack friends to be around as most have abandoned me. i'm still trying to talk to people and get better and trying to get through both far back and rather recent suicidal thoughts. Once i got to a point where i could at least drag myself out of bed (Even though i feel like shit still) I met her and after talking to her and hanging out with her for a month i finally asked her to date and after a week of talking and discussing it she got into the idea. We've been dating for a month and a half and unfortunately she isn't completely blind and has a lack of empathy to my own love for her. She has caught on to me and i told her only the bear bones of the stuff wrong with me. I'm Worried I'm being too clingy towards her and my past mistakes will impact her attitude towards me if i show and tell her to the full extent. I'm Worried if i show her everything including the physical scars, she will not like me anymore even though she continues to try and successfully lift my spirits. I Love her alot , wanna make her happy and i don't have anyone to really to talk to. I'm Looking for any advice to help me for the relationship or to help me get into a better frame of mind. I don't know what I'm doing and a lovesick puppy for my Girl. Any notes is appreciated as i don't want to treat her badly because of my own self loathing and self esteem problems etc. If Any of ya Past by and offer some little bits of wisdom to this Appreciate it Hugs and Kisses and have a great day/night.

Help anti same sex parents

replies: 3

My girlfriend is 23 and I’m 36 we have been in a relationship for a couple of months but her parents are starting to try cause havoc . Like banning me from entering her estate where she lives . She literally only an hour ago found us sitting on side walk together at night with our dogs as she charged at us then started blasting her 4wd horn constantly til I got up and went in side and she screamed at her daughter my partner . How case stop this from happening

Closeted parent?

replies: 4

Hi everyone, I'm new here, am not LGBT myself but I'm looking for advice on something a bit related. So - my parents are in their 70s and still married, I'm in my 30s. I've recently accidentally discovered (quite a lot of) gay pornography on my dad's computer. I get that it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. Or it may be something he's been curious about just recently, or it may be something he's been curious about for a long time but never worked up the courage? I sometimes feel like I'm making something up out of nothing, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and going over things in my head. I want to stress that if it's true, I don't have a problem with it AT ALL. It's just that this has come as a huge surprise to me, and even thinking about the possibility of this has thrown up questions and thoughts that I'm still processing. I am definitely NOT talking to anyone else about this (except strangers on the internet, ha), especially other family members. I suppose I just feel like there might be something I should do about it. I'd hate to know that there was something I should have done or said but did nothing. Obviously it would be very embarrassing for him to know how I found out (how could it not be), but I'd like to do whatever I can to support if he needs it. Would it help at all to talk to him about it? If I was to ask about it, what would be the best approach? Just a wild guess but I don't think "hey dad...are you gay?" would cut it. I'm at a loss as to how I would even bring this up. Of course, he may just deny it and that would be the end of that. I also understand that saying nothing might be the best option. There may be aspects that I haven't considered, and saying anything at all would only hurt, not help. It ultimately is not my business and everyone deserves their privacy. And I may just be totally wrong about this. Should I just let him try to work through it on his own, coming to terms with the fact that he may never do so in his lifetime? I just, I don't know. I feel very awful and sad for him, and it pains me to imagine that 1. maybe there is a part of his life he felt he has always had to hide, even from his children, 2. I know growing up in the period he did (60s, 70s) would have not been easy for anyone LGBT, and I suspect his parents would not have been sympathetic 3. he will eventually be gone at some point, never having told anyone about it. But maybe that is his wish and I could respect that.

Under 20 Lesbian- Depression, relationship

replies: 2

Have depression and finding it really hard to get a relationship with a girl.

How to defuse arguments when he is in a bad, abusive mood

replies: 14

I am the gay carer for my partner of many , many years who has had Aschemic strokes over the last 8 years. Have seen a councillor a while ago who wanted to put me on sedatives and I thought how can I look after my partner while I’m sedated !! i am looking especially for suggestions or tactics to defuse arguments that accure when he is in a bad , abusive mood . Right now, all I can say is sorry and walk to another room or go on Facebook. He is on sedatives, but has limited effectiveness. All suggestions appreciated

Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums replies: 0

LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place replies: 224

safe alcohol treatment rehabs replies: 1

So what am i,,? replies: 23

Need advise on supporting my son. replies: 9

Bad day replies: 3

Transgender ? replies: 7

I guess i could use some advice and help if ya have time. replies: 1

Help anti same sex parents replies: 3

Closeted parent? replies: 4

Under 20 Lesbian- Depression, relationship replies: 2

How to defuse arguments when he is in a bad, abusive mood replies: 14