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Would you tell your parents everything?

anders
Community Member
Hi - Im 36yrs old - my parents are conservative so I usually keep things to myself about the decisions I make in life. But now its come to the point that my boyfriend wants them to know that he is divorced with 4 kids (something I didnt tell them when they met him and also they live overseas). Would you tell them knowing all the drama that would ensue as a result of it?
2 Replies 2

sunnyl20
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but this is a decision that is very personal to you & I don't think anyone on here can tell you either way whether you should or shouldn't tell them. Maybe some things to think about: Why does your boyfriend want them to know? Do they need to know and why? What are the downsides to not telling them and keeping things as they are? How often do you talk to your parents/how close are you to them? If you were in their position, would you want to know? Is there a way to tell them that would soften the potential blow and reduce the drama that would unfold?

Aaronsis
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi anders

Great that you have come to get some support on what I can hear is a situation that you are "expecting" your parents to receive negatively.

Can I suggest to you that your thoughts on how this will play out and how it will actually play out may be two very different scenarios? While I hear that you say your parents are very conservative, does that mean that you are to take a partner with whom has never been married or attached to someone else before and who also does not have any children?

I am a single mother and have two teenage children. I would feel hurt if my partner did not want to share with his/her family my children, with whom would essentially be apart of not only their life but your parents life as well. Alot of people at 36 + years old may have already been in relationships that have born children, this would not be uncommon I don't think.

I am not trying to persuade you in any direction here, but consider his feelings as well, also consider your parents feeling in you making a decision for them. They may very well respond differently to that in which you are expecting, they may have no opinions at all on this matter, but if they do, that essentially is their opinions and if you love this man and see a future with him, then your feelings are really the only ones you should be influenced by.

Hope to chat to you some more anders and see how you are feeling about our ideas.

Cheers

Sarah