Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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hunleyarm How to help
  • replies: 3

My partner of 6yrs has asked for space he lost and confused on what he wants. We have had alot happen recently not between us but with his family and work. It has built up and he has imploded. I asked 2 things for him to see a dr as i can see he need... View more

My partner of 6yrs has asked for space he lost and confused on what he wants. We have had alot happen recently not between us but with his family and work. It has built up and he has imploded. I asked 2 things for him to see a dr as i can see he needed help amd to see someone to talk to. He has done both. He is now on anti-depressants and has had 1 counselling app so far. Im now lost. I dont know how to help. We are now living apart and have a 3yr old and 6 month old. He has good days and bad and i always got hugs from him except for yesterday. Some days he wants to work on us some days he doesnt know. I know he needs time to get through what ever he may be dealing with. But i dont want to loose him and some days i feel like i am. How do i help him wothout being pushy without hurting him otlr myself in this process. I am struggling with it all as it was sudden. I didnt see it coming.

SweetSmile Want space and time
  • replies: 6

Two weeks ago my partner of 3 years -and I had a huge argument where he asked for a break as we have been having a few problems. He says the spark is gone and but he still loves me. He willing go to couple counsellor/ therapy as we agreed on from our... View more

Two weeks ago my partner of 3 years -and I had a huge argument where he asked for a break as we have been having a few problems. He says the spark is gone and but he still loves me. He willing go to couple counsellor/ therapy as we agreed on from our last conversation however after talk and realise he need see one for himself bad he is confuse and unhappy. So he went see one few days after our argument and decide don’t want to see couple therapy as want focus on himself and asked me to give him time.. we still living under same roof even though I offer to leave and give him space but he say it’s okay for me stay. So right now I am feeling lost and tiring of waiting for him. It’s our second time to be in that situation where he left me in past that I ended with him as he kept changing his mind. 5 years later we are together again and it was great until last few months.. just don’t know what to do as don’t want him make stupid mistake again.. I really want make things work for us.

Chester09 Being an essential worker during a pandemic
  • replies: 3

I am grateful to still have a job, don't get me wrong but I just dont know how to be there for my kids while both my husband and I continue to work. How can I justify putting anything ahead of my children at a time like this? They need us now more th... View more

I am grateful to still have a job, don't get me wrong but I just dont know how to be there for my kids while both my husband and I continue to work. How can I justify putting anything ahead of my children at a time like this? They need us now more than ever before but now, more than ever before, it is crucial to hang on to the employment we have. Can anyone relate? Can anyone tell me how they are doing it? I just don't know how I am going to cope. While my role is essential, I am new to it and therefore new to the workplace and not afforded any goodwill towards flexibility to care for my family.

LovelyLoneyLady Bloke blues
  • replies: 3

Hi, i thought id finally possibly found a suitable partner (I really liked him). He suddenly cancelled our plans, ghosted me and went back online looking for someone else. All ive ever wanted was a decent and intelligent man that i can share my life ... View more

Hi, i thought id finally possibly found a suitable partner (I really liked him). He suddenly cancelled our plans, ghosted me and went back online looking for someone else. All ive ever wanted was a decent and intelligent man that i can share my life with, but seem to be very unlucky in love. I feel like theres a curse on me or something!

megss helicopter parenting to withdrawn
  • replies: 9

Hi, My mum and I don't have the best relationship, but it has gotten worse as I have gotten older and realised what is okay and what isn't. Long story short, parents had a messy divorce when I was young and have been going week on and week off. This ... View more

Hi, My mum and I don't have the best relationship, but it has gotten worse as I have gotten older and realised what is okay and what isn't. Long story short, parents had a messy divorce when I was young and have been going week on and week off. This could have affected our relationship, I'm not sure. Pretty much my mum is either very very involved and when I say that I can do something by myself, or tell her that I can manage (which I do very politely), she gets almost offended and steps back too far, for example, won't drive me to where I need to go or won't cook dinner for me suddenly without telling me, almost to prove that I need her, and I do but just not as much as she wants to be. She controls all aspects of my life and uses them to blackmail me. She checks my location on Life360 religiously and gets notifications whenever I move. She reads all my messages, goes through all my bags, reads my journals (which I have now stopped writing) and even my school books. She went as far as to check my pencil case. I have no privacy at home. She walks into the bathroom when I am in the shower and gets mad when I ask her to leave. She says that as long as I live with her, I have no privacy. She checks on me every 10 minutes and will make excuses to do so. I have no room to move and I need more room, she is too controlling. She also controls what food I eat, which is fair enough for a parent, but I am not allowed to go and get food from the cupboard because she takes stocktakes of the food. She uses the fact that I have ADHD to say that she needs to be more involved, but it is really for herself, and I know that I can manage to put my clothes away without her watching me. I know that she is manipulative, she once took all of my T-shirts out of my draw and asked my sister to hide my volleyball gear so I couldn't train. She needs to know everything as well. I now just lie to her and don't tell her anything, and she wonders why! I get so frustrated at her because she won't let me live, but when she steps back it's too far. I keep asking her to let me do things and I'll ask for her help if I need it, but there is no in-between. I feel like I have no connection with her, and I don't want one. Half of the time she is overly affectionate, and the other half of the time she is emotionally neglectful and I am confused. I don't like affection from her because it ranges too much, I am confused. I understand she is trying to parent but it is too much. Any suggestions?

ColY How to cope elderly parent in nursing home
  • replies: 3

Struggling hard my mother is end stage in a nursing home (they thought she would pass before Christmas). I am allowed to visit but feeling too guilty to do so. She never wanted to go to a nursing home, cannot remember that now, often doesn't remember... View more

Struggling hard my mother is end stage in a nursing home (they thought she would pass before Christmas). I am allowed to visit but feeling too guilty to do so. She never wanted to go to a nursing home, cannot remember that now, often doesn't remember me now. My siblings are interstate or overseas. Tried phoning Beyond Blue but got hung up on when I accidently muted call.

PsychedelicFur Being an Old Soul
  • replies: 23

Greetings, Currently whilst being on my hiatus of self growth and discovery I have particularly noticed that I have a tendency to feel incredibly lonesome and wanting, wishing and seeking to find my tribe. I'm an eccentric, passionate, flamboyant and... View more

Greetings, Currently whilst being on my hiatus of self growth and discovery I have particularly noticed that I have a tendency to feel incredibly lonesome and wanting, wishing and seeking to find my tribe. I'm an eccentric, passionate, flamboyant and charismatic young person who is just merely wanting to find my place in the world. It has become apparent, to me that it is awfully difficult to find others of my age bracket that wear vintage clothes, admire antique furnishings, listen to psychedelic , classic, experimental rock/blues music or even have an idea of what I am talking about. I find my generation far too superficial, perhaps needy and undetermined to be different and unusual. I flaunt my uniqueness wherever I go with bold, loud and fierce vintage styles (consisting of loads of flowers, colours and my wicked collection of go go boots too) Like I said I'm confident with who I am and what I like ; I would NEVER change for the world... I just feel that my uniqueness and capability of freely sharing my self expression may intimidate or even perhaps scare other people my age a way. I am awkward around others my age because I don't really know how to speak to them. One problem being because I am not at all intrigued in modern societies' fads that seem to go out style within five minutes.. like I said I would rather sip my herbal tea and listen to my records on my turntable than attend drug or alcohol parties. I also live in an area that does not really seem to encourage nor support my idea of being unusual. The environment around me makes me think that self expression is not acceptable and I should just be restricted to supporting the ways of the so called 'social NORM' Signed, PF

Guest_9043 Did I over react? Need some input.
  • replies: 11

I ended my relationship with my partner two days ago. It is not true that the person who ends it has an easier time. When I ended the r/ship I had not been thinking of it for days or even weeks on end. I still absolutely loved my partner when I ended... View more

I ended my relationship with my partner two days ago. It is not true that the person who ends it has an easier time. When I ended the r/ship I had not been thinking of it for days or even weeks on end. I still absolutely loved my partner when I ended it. I still do love her very much. I ended it because we had a short yet painful row. I was under extreme stress and pressure from many things. Big and small. Also going through a mental breakdown. My mind and heart could not cope with the argument. She said things and didn't say things that made no sense. The final blow was when she said if you cannot take responsibility we have nothing. A powerful statement and a knife straight through my heart. In that moment I said that is it, the relationship is over, I am done, we are done and I am moving out. I also said not long after that, that we will not be sleeping together anymore. It's inappropriate, we are no longer together. I saw the look on her face of what I interpret as please do not abandon me. I have however stuck to it and we have not been sleeping together. I miss sleeping with her terribly to be honest. I did not want to end the relationship, I felt there was no longer any other choice. I went through something similar with her almost a month ago now. I was rebuilding my trust in her and the relationship as well as my safety. She promised that person would never come back. I actually do know she tried very very hard to keep that cruel, cutting, non-feeling person away. She is devastated that she has caused me such pain. I watch her struggle and want to help. I'm just scared to get hurt. Scared to trust. I feel like I am very protective of me. I still love her. There is lots to love and I miss her. I need to talk this out with someone.

Loz2192 Partner trusting issues
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m new to this but just thought I would give it a go I have been with my partner for 2 years...things were great at first but I do have trouble expressing my feelings to her... I do overthink a lot and create scenarios in my mind that then leads... View more

Hi, I’m new to this but just thought I would give it a go I have been with my partner for 2 years...things were great at first but I do have trouble expressing my feelings to her... I do overthink a lot and create scenarios in my mind that then leads to me not trusting her or thinking she is not telling me the truth about some things I do suffer with anxiety and depression also so that does play a part in my over thinking just wondering if anyone has been like this and what have they done to over come this