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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
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Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Sivet Is waiting and hoping just a waste of energy better spent elsewhere?
  • replies: 8

Hi, I’m new here and hoping you all might be able to give me some direction please, or even just a hint maybe. I’ll try to give you the basic info, without going into all the details. Basically I married my wife about 4 years ago. We both have childr... View more

Hi, I’m new here and hoping you all might be able to give me some direction please, or even just a hint maybe. I’ll try to give you the basic info, without going into all the details. Basically I married my wife about 4 years ago. We both have children living with us from previous relationships and have emotional baggage from that. So we both had our work cut out for us in making our blended family work. Before we were married, I was aware that my future wife suffered depression and was on medication for it, however I was pretty naïve about how much of an impact this has on day to day life. After a comment made by the doctor about my wife’s medication during a visit about an unrelated issue, I started doing a bit of research and because of that and my wife’s family history (her mother is bipolar and her sister is schizophrenic), I came to the conclusion that at the very least the doctor was right about the medication not working or maybe even that my wife herself was bipolar. After about 2 years, I eventually got my wife back to the doctor and after a few questions, he concluded she may have bipolar but wanted her to get some tests done. That was the end of the doctors’ visits for my wife. After that my wife decided she was no longer going to take the medication she was on for her depression and everything went downhill very quickly. My wife’s father was diagnosed with lung cancer; my oldest step daughter left home at 16 and got herself pregnant. All stress that my wife struggled to deal with, which is totally understandable. However me and my kids started to cop a fair bit of abuse over various things, most of which left me scratching my head and wondering why is this a big deal. She said some very vulgar things about my kids and my relationship with them due to me not supporting some things she was making issues off or the punishment she wished them to have. Eventually she left with her kids and blamed me for not coming looking for her and asking her to come home. To be totally honest, as much as I love her, I didn’t want her with us because I was worried the impact of her moods and thinking and abuse had on my kids. We no longer live together. She seems to have created a world were anything me or my kids do is unforgivable, while anything she has said or done is totally justifiable and no amount of talking will make her see reason. I’ve written her a few letters trying to win her over, and apologizing for things I’ve said and done (I have said a few nasty things in defending my kids and myself) with no response. I still love her and feel sorry for everything she has had to go through and want to be there for her, however at the same time I don’t want to sit here hoping things will change and wasting my time and energy hoping when I should be using it to move on. Is the situation hopeless? Should I just move on and leave her to deal with her problem? With her thinking the way it is, could she have possibly moved on herself?