Hi all I had the most amazing relationship with a wonderful man. We
lived together, with my son and his son from previous relationships, a
really happy family of four. I felt blessed and so so lucky that I had
found my soulmate and we really cherishe...
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Hi all I had the most amazing relationship with a wonderful man. We
lived together, with my son and his son from previous relationships, a
really happy family of four. I felt blessed and so so lucky that I had
found my soulmate and we really cherished each other. Ours was always
the house where the kids in the street would come to play. He was always
the man who went out to cut the grass and help out the neighbours if
they needed it. He was the world’s best father. He was the Partner and
Dad who always put his family before everything. We were both each
other's reason for living and could not stand to be parted from each
other. We were engaged and were planning to get married in 2015 and both
of us couldn’t wait. We would have done it already long ago if we had
the money! For the sake of not making this a 10 page post, I will say
that we came under enormous and prolonged stress in our lives, and he
“snapped” and left me completely out of the blue with nothing more than
a text to say he “could not do it anymore”. To add to the drama, him
doing this left myself and my son with no place to live and I had no
choice but to return to my family (that live a long distance away). We
pretty much lost home, family and life overnight and all through it he
was a cold, emotionless stranger. When I returned a few weeks later to
pack up my furniture and belongings he was a broken man. He had hives
all over him, he had chest pains, IBM, vomiting, constant crying. He was
saying he wished he had not done what he did but he could not cope. I
suggested he see a doctor. He did and he was diagnosed with a
“breakdown” and depression . I wanted to come “home” and look after him,
but for some reason he did not want me to. He insisted on being alone
and I had no choice but to leave and go back to my family again. He
started anti depressants and counselling and over a few weeks he went
from being hostile and very cold to me, to realising that he was
actually ill and had perhaps done the wrong thing. Two weeks ago he made
the considerable effort of travelling to see me (a fair effort for him
to make the flight and the drive when he’s depressed) to tell me that he
regretted what he did and still loved me as much as he always did. He
said he felt no emotions at all and this had confused him into thinking
it was over between us. He realises now that it makes no sense for this
to happen over a week in an otherwise happy relationship. He said he was
very, very ill and needed to “sort himself out” and I have agreed to
wait and offer him support. Now he has returned “home” and I am still on
the other side of the country with my family. He has moved into a small
apartment now and lives alone with just his son every other weekend. He
is getting treatment, but he’s still in a bad way, to the point where I
frequently feel worried. We are now talking almost every day but he is
nowhere near as keep to speak to me as he used to be, which is very
hurtful sometimes. Meanwhile as he builds a new life for himself that no
longer really includes me or our family, I am staying with family with
no real home of my own. All our stuff is in storage. My son is in a
temporary school. I am supposed to be sorting us out to move back, but
for work reasons the place I need to move to will be about three hours
from him. He says he will visit every other weekend and we will build it
from there. I hate the idea of starting a new life as a single Mum hours
away from where we lived. I am so sad for the life we lost. Not just for
me, but for my son who lost his "Dad" and "Brother" and the only life he
really knows. Some days I feel full of hope. I feel like we love each
other so much that we can find a way through this, and I know that he
needs me to keep faith and hope in him to get through this illness.
Other days I feel so angry. He has his home, he has his job, he has his
son safely tucked away in his usual bedroom and his usual school;
whereas me and my son lost everything in this and he can't even offer me
any emotional support because he is too ill. We were a family and if he
was ill I could have helped him and nursed him through it. Now I am
supposed to leave, start my own life and start dating my own fiance long
distance? It seems like he is asking a hell of a lot. I can't be angry
though, because he doesn't know what he is doing or thinking. I feel
very alone. Does anyone else have similar experiences?
Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
